Morally Conscious

Broadcast live streaming video on Ustream

This is a camera of my studio room in my home. When I am away it keeps Laurie and Brian out of my house...and when I am home it keeps them from sexually assaulting me. This is for Christopher and his family to know that I'm safe.

Today's theme:
A day of life cycles today. The newest member of our family is here...and she is perfect! My niece had her baby, #2, last night and is feeling great. Meanwhile, on another floor in the same hospital, my dad is having a pacemaker installed in a two hour operation that is scary for me. The baby is my father's great grand daughter...his third great grand child...with number four due in December, another girl. Emotions run high during the cycle of life don't they? I'm glad that my family is all at the hospital in Palm Springs, but I am home. Laurie is impossible to deal with on days where family members are in the hospital. She says things like, "there could be complications" and "this is a serious operation with one foot in the grave"...that kind of shit. So rather than be inside of all that fray, I'm here.
Visit "Save Our Sons" for more information about this crime. This is a non violent informational blog about the crime of electronic harassment in Palm Springs, California. The blog, in no way, intends to promote a crime against anyone. It's intent now, as always, is to become the property of DreamWorks Entertainment as a motion picture project for them. Do not commit any crimes because of this blog.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

Introducing Our Newest Family Member: Ava Leigh, Born This Morning...Happy Birthday AVA!!! She's So Chubby and Cute!!!

Ava Leigh
Happy Birthday Sweetheart
9lbs 6oz....of pure sweet!!!
Mom and baby are fine!!!

Is There Trouble In Paradise? Has Brian Finally Decided To Dump His Sister?

Has Laurie finally pushed her brother Brian too far?  Is Brian tired of living with his sister "like an old married couple"?  Have enough people stood up to his little baby sister that he now knows how hopeless it is to even consider helping her?  Is Laurie's need for death starting to look too much like they are a partnership in murder?  Has Brian finally seen how his baby sister is setting him up for everything?

Sounds to me like there is trouble in paradise!

Laurie has spent many years trying to cultivate a non-existent relationship between herself and her brother.  He is several years older than Laurie and I'd never heard of any family member of hers while I was growing up.  I didn't know that the neighbor across the street was her aunt.  I'd lived in the same house from birth until about 15 or 16 years old, then my whole family moved into a really great house that my father custom built for us.  (He's a contractor that built custom homes in the summer and taught physical education during the school year; sometimes both).  I'd never met any member of her family knowing that they were related.  I wouldn't have cared and none of them ever mention her either.  I think they aren't very proud of Laurie, but I could be wrong.

The theory is that Laurie's brother was kind of a person that was mostly a loner and when Laurie would spout off at home she would run away to her brother's house where she could get high and drunk.  He sort of "protected her", but now I'm thinking it might have just been a way for her to manipulate him.  She knew he did drugs and if he wanted his parents to stay out of it, she would be able to come over and do whatever she wanted.  Later, she would sell drugs to the kids in high school, allegedly, and try to get them to hurt me and other people.  Kind of what she ended up like in Palm Springs, California.  Laurie's brother is kind of slow, but he's not stupid.  Laurie is both stupid and slow, but she's highly aggressive.  She doesn't "need a man", but without one she's too small and inefficient to do herself any good.  Most men that she knows are approached to try to hurt someone else for drugs.  This is what she learned how to do while she was in junior high school then in high school...and for the last thirty years.  Once Laurie has "dirt" on you, like she does on her brother, she blackmails him into deeper and deeper situations where she either gets what she wants or tattles on him.  It's a cycle that I will deal with prosecutors on later.  I don't know how bad Brian would have been without Laurie, probably not a good person, but I don't think he'd have been nearly as dumb as Laurie's been or as obvious.

Monday, August 22, 2016

Not That My Humble Opinion Matters But...

A recent Twitter post, now deleted, from our friend Bette Midler, shown beautifully above, has her in some hot water with the Transgender community for comments that some people say are "Trans-phobic". I'm concerned about something when people do things like this.  If you know ANYTHING AT ALL about Bette, you know that she is probably the most supportive human being outside of the LGBTQ that has ever lived.  To say something like "Bette is Transphobic" is so far off base that I am worried about what gay youth is learning about our history.

At the forefront of the AIDS epidemic, this was the face of the disease and hope long before there was Magic Johnson or even Ryan White.  Delivering meals to AIDS victims no matter what their gender was, trans or not!  She has led the fight for equality for our ENTIRE community for decades and is the last human being on this planet that does not believe in the rights of transgendered people.  Perhaps the comments made by Bette were more of a comment on society and stardom than they were on the community that she embraces with open arms and an open heart.   I believe that Bette is so comfortable with transgendered people that what she had to say was about the ridiculousness of what is worthy of our attention when there are so many other issues that inhibit the transgendered community besides whom has a television show.  She isn't commenting about fear, she's commenting about values of people accepting people and not body parts.  You see when you have fought as long as the Divine one, these kinds of matters pale in comparison to the high rate of murders of transgendered black women in society today.  It is more important that transgendered and gay youth learn more about how to be accepted than whether or not a television show is cancelled.

Caitlyn Jenner has been given the golden key to the LGBTQ kingdom.  A key and kingdom forged by the blood, sweat and tears of the woman above.  Caitlyn has stated that she is going to change the world's opinion about transgendered people and that trans youth will grow up in a better world than she did.   When society places more emphasis on what Caitlyn is wearing more than whom she is helping, then that promise isn't really being fulfilled.  When the gay community opens its arms and welcomes you with love and unlimited acceptance, they expect the same in return despite personal opinions on love or marriage.  We love Caitlyn for who she is, now she needs to show us what she can do besides reality television.  The transition is complete, now it is time to make change.  The LGBTQ community is about being who you are and loving who you want unabashedly.  I think the second part of that creed is what Caitlyn needs to be more sensitive about.  I value marrying someone I love and marrying them.  I love a man.  Respect that a person can love a person no matter what the gender is, because we accepted Caitlyn for her choice to change her own gender to be correct.  It's a give and give back situation.

If you were to put up a scale of human rights and have Bette Midler on one side and Caitlyn Jenner on the other, I think that the choice, because of effort and history goes to Bette.  I think even Caitlyn would agree.  To say she is anything phobic in our community is a slap in our own faces.  Don't fight the people that love us too...fight for equality for all.

I know I love Bette Midler, she's made an effort to keep me alive for decades.  I want to love Caitlyn the same.  Two very good people for our community to respect.  Let's hold our heads higher and keep perspective on whom has the courage to make the changes to make us equal.  I think both have the best chances.  Accepting each other comes from respecting, not necessarily believing in,  each others values.

Finding The Value In Advocacy Work With My Friends

There is something to be said for simplifying your life to the point where you can do what you think is valuable.  It took a trip from a friend to help me remember that "value" is sometimes measured in the good that is done and not the money that you make.  I'm reminded as well that as life, for me, gets more complicated, that many of my friends are looking to simplify their lives after their "big careers".

I don't think that I could ever have foreseen what my life would become when I made the decision to let go of my career for the safety of the people that I worked with, to pursue whomever it was that was stalking me.  If I had known that it would have included doing television interviews about "hearing voices" in my head, I sincerely doubt I would have looked forward to it.  Somehow I knew that I had a story to tell, in some ways I've always felt that way.  I didn't know if it had to do with the gay thing, the HIV thing or just a feeling I had inside.  When I least expected it, my life, in total, became the story.  Encompassing so many other people's stories is the amazing part.  There were so many others that had a story about this crime that telling my part seemed like a springboard for change.

I couldn't have imagined that online people were already discussing what I was experiencing.  It wasn't until one of my team members contacted Dr. John Hall, that I realized there were already people calling what I was experiencing, "gang stalking", even now I'm surprised at how long it took me to relate "being followed" with the "voices in head".  I took time to put the pieces together into a puzzle that made sense.  When I stepped back to look at the picture, I was looking into the face of hate that I'd seen once in my life.  I thought I'd never have to see that face again.  Interesting how life hands us the same obstacles over and over until we learn to deal with them, isn't it?  All of a sudden, the path was cleared...I knew who was behind my terror.  I'd seen it before.  I didn't know how to handle it.  I let it control how I felt and it guided me into law enforcement in the courtroom.  There I felt safe. That's where justice was served daily.  I never thought the same evil would dare show up there.  It did.

The kind of security that I felt working in the chambers of the judges that employed me, made me feel strong.  It made me feel important.  Suddenly all those student that got into all those law schools had to come to me for answers.  Boy did that feel good.  I was working with Stanford, Harvard, Cornell and Berkeley graduates, United States Attorneys, federal criminal defense lawyers and the judiciary tried to lure me to work for other chambers.  I felt extremely secure in knowing that I'd found my niche.  The days leading up to the darkness entering the courtroom are the subject of my first diary, written as a way to hide my secret and let out my fear.  I was screaming with my pen, punching with my words,  while cooly working out at the beach.  I couldn't figure out why these people, without smiles, were following me, but I wouldn't let them see me crack.  Only my diary listened to my anger and questions, nobody else would have believed me, and of course, it provided no answers.

I somehow knew that if these "actors" saw themselves getting to me, breaking me down, shaking, worried, that they would get worse.  More violent, more aggressive and more inside of my head.  I didn't realize for a long time that they were already there.  I can remember reading self help books like, "The Four Agreements" and "Conversations With God", on the bus, thinking, "How could anyone follow someone that was trying to be a better person?"  They were not only nonplussed, they scoffed at the idea that whomever I was, I had no business trying to be a better person.  It was as if the damage was already done and I'd left the scene of the accident.  I was a federal agent without protection from an evil I couldn't quantify.  I just couldn't tell the judge that I was working for that I felt as if I was being followed to and from work, because I didn't have proof.  You have to experience this for a while before you notice the subtleties of stalkers that don't talk.  Most of them reminded me of Neo from "The Matrix" with their dark sunglasses and their scowls.  No emotion and if you were polite to them, there would be no response.  What if, and this was a true feeling, someone had seen me out partying and the stalking was being done by my own employer?

I'd worked very hard to abide by what I like to call a "moral code of conduct" which meant not going to bathhouses, bars to get drunk and just about anything that would cast a shadow on the light of the torch of Justice.  I had to be "that guy".  The one that looked perfect, worked perfect, behaved perfect and above all else, made my judge look perfect.  The job of the court clerk is to make the judge look good; not to draw attention with some kind of scandal.  I became as statuesque and hard working as I could.  I moved into THE apartment in THE right part of town and I was doing the job.  Evil entered my apartment when I wasn't there.  My landlord let him in.  Within months I was asked to leave because someone had made an offer to buy the condo I'd just moved in to.  I was crushed and my "safe haven" was no longer, I moved with a boyfriend into an apartment downtown, first floor, into a place a friend of mine owned.  It wasn't THE place, but it would do for then.

A home on the corner of a downtown street in San Diego is like living in a fishbowl, which meant I was seeing "Neo's" all day and night, walking all around my apartment on the sidewalk outside.  This is the apartment that I moved in to with the kindness of my friend Gary, who owned the places.  I had to move very quickly as the property manager was needing to sell this condo quickly.  I spent days cleaning that place to get my deposit back and strangely, she called me and told me that I'd left drug paraphernalia all over the house and I wouldn't get my money back.  Mind you, I'd had the carpet professionally cleaned and had left it was newer than the day I moved in.  I thought she was just mean...I wrote it off.

Here is the apartment I moved in to:
You can see from this corner view that my apartment was truly a fishbowl with windows all along side with the trees (on the left)
This would be my last apartment in San Diego before the shooting.  It was haunting to see the array of  "Neo" vehicles that would arrive soon after I got home from work and that pass by all night long if I was up.  None of the other streets were busy with traffic at night.  Not ever.  San Diego downtown closes down after about 6 pm and it is quiet.  I noticed right away that the people following me to my work were now everywhere.

By the time I was ready to stop partying, to make me feel better about being followed, I got shot at with a small caliber hand gun, through the driver's side window of my Honda Civic.  It missed me by five inches, but it might as well have pierced my temple and lodged itself in my brain; I couldn't forget that feeling of being someone that someone wanted to kill.  It didn't matter, at that point, if the bullet was intended for Kevin or just me the human being, but it sure felt personal.  I'd been stalked for years and years and this was the first night that the Neo's weren't around.  It was a silent night and I'd not seen one of those in years.  It was so eerie that I took another route home than my usual path...through the Italian Village and right by the El Cortez.  The bullet was the only thing out and about that night.  The bullet and the smiling hooded criminals that tried to kill me.  I remember their faces and everything.  Mostly I remember the smile of the driver.  Did he actually smile at me knowing that I'd be dead a split second later?

A shooter in an American made truck with a white camper shell...silver or gray paint...took the rest of my feelings of accomplishment away.  Now I wasn't just being followed everywhere, someone was firing bullets.  Once again, it sure felt personal.  The next day the Neo's were back again, full force.  In the courtroom and all over the federal plaza on Front Street.  I was still working, but mentally I was on that street with the smashed window every day.  I went to counseling and when I went to my boss with the directions from the EAP counselor, he suspended me.  Worse, he told me the worst thing of all, "I have people following you everywhere, I'll know what you are up to."  That was it.  He was behind it.  I went from being his "star performer" to his chief screw up.  I certainly couldn't tell anyone that I was being stalked now, who would care?  I made the decision to leave that job and San Diego to pursue what I knew was this crime against me.  I knew it started there, I knew I'd experienced it there since.  Somehow I knew it was time to face my fear and Palm Springs was the place.

What you've read on this blog is the product of years of investigation.  Hard work.  Informant discoveries.  Disappointments.  Small successes.  Rape, stalking, tears and one more thing, love.  You see this project has VALUE in it.  It's already touched the lives of the men you see in the television interview on the right of the page.  It has curbed the appetite of the criminal responsible for our rapes and infections.  It has taken away the mystique and stigma of a crime that the police department is well aware of.  This project has an unseen value for my personal life with Christopher.  The value for this project with my team members and friends is to educate and allow them to tell their own stories.  To free themselves from the evil.  To face their fears with me so that we are safer.  This project's value can't be measured in money or prestige, but it meant that I finally could stop screaming with my pen and start informing with my words.

It has been worth it.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Is It Making Sense To You? Putting Together The Pieces Of The Puzzle

I've discovered that investigating a crime is a long, tedious, sometimes frustrating and always thoughtful process.  I spend much of my time on this project looking for the logical conclusions that can be made from the fact that are presented.  There are holes that need to be filled, but every time I fill them with another fact, it keeps pointing to the same person, over and over again.  Another piece of the puzzle, another portion of the picture.

I think that the frustrating thing about this whole crime is the impact that the resolution has on my entire outlook on life.  Right now I've lived through the "life is never fair to the honest" portion and I'm smart enough to realize that the truth may not always set you free, but it does serve you better than a lie.  I've been through so much and mostly the worst things have happened that could have, yet I know that I'm good with God and good with myself.  I have few regrets about what I've done in my life and the ones that I do have, I'm certain aren't any different than most peoples.  

Mostly I've been disappointed in my ability to get across to people what this has been like for me and I know someday someone is going to say, "Why didn't you do this?" That thing that they will say will make sense and I'm certain it will be the one thing that I didn't do.  Until then I am exhausting all of the avenues to make certain that my story is alive for everyone to read for as long as they can.  If something "accidental" should befall me, like a shooting or a beating that kills me, I want someone to know that I have only one person that I've ever felt hatred from.  Her name is Laurie.  I'm sure Bryan Anderson can figure it out from there.

I'm amazed at how hard it is to have someone questioned in a crime.  I'm constantly amazed at how easy it was to have me arrested and not have any evidence supporting the arrests.  It's one of the most unique things about Palm Springs that someone can literally make shit up better than the truth can tell the police.  That Christopher could be jailed on a lie from an anonymous phone caller using my pet cat's name, astounds me.  That a person could be living in an apartment that is full of stolen items from another person without being questioned is ridiculous.  Is it so hard to imagine that a woman could be responsible for raping men?  If it is, then we need to show that date rape drugs are far more dangerous than imagined and equalize the chances of a woman raping a man.

When I was raped, I got exposed to Hep C.  The bloodwork shows a spike right during the time of that sexual assault and the time of my smashed skull.  Now I know one thing for sure, I couldn't have given myself Hep C, so the blood on my clothing from my butt, had to contain someone else's DNA.  It is impossible for me to know that one month I test negative, then the rape happens, then I test positive for Hep C and not know someone did it.  I know I DIDN'T HAVE SEX WITH STEVEN FREY, so does he.  The only place that could have come from was blood to blood contact during that sexual assault.  You can't argue with the test results...there is a timeline for that infection and it is clear that it falls during the period of that rape.  My skull was broken from late September to October 31, 2007 and beyond, I certainly wasn't having any kind of sex with a smashed the spike was due to the rape.  This is likely because the rapist did not wear a condom and that would mean that somewhere on the denim jeans is the DNA of the rapist.  There is very little chance that the rapist would use a condom and infect me with the HEP C that shows up after the rape.  To me, that means that somewhere in those bloody clothing, is the DNA of the rapist.

If you shake hands with Laurie, you might want to look to see if you see signs of syphilis.  They aren't always present, but if they are, they will look like this:
On the hands are little blistery sores:
I've heard that a check of her back will look like this if she isn't covering her body with makeup:

Laurie, There's A Box Of Tissues For That Nose You Keep Sticking In My Business, If You Aren't Careful, You Might Blow It!

I don't know if Laurie made it to my high school reunion or not, but I really don't care.  The questions about my friends that probably were there are already coming.  It's no secret that I have some pretty terrific friends that have done some incredibly great things with their lives.  I stay out of their business because having the world's biggest snoop on your ass, isn't conducive to close friendships outside of other people that are like myself.  I'm not upset that I kept my friends safe from Laurie's wrath all of these years and, in fact, if she did speak with them, they have only themselves to look at for the answers that they gave her.  I don't blame them, I simply don't want the awesome responsibility of having to protect more friends than ever.  I already have lots of friends that are suffering from intentional infections of HIV that came from a woman and I don't need my high school friends getting close to her.

Warning them in person is a dauntless task.  Laurie knows what I am doing when I do it, then the defensive calls start with the lies that she tells to cover them up.  When it comes to high school friends there are a few nevers.  Laurie is NEVER a lesbian, she is NEVER HIV positive, she is NEVER close with her brother, she is NEVER on drugs or has ever used them, she is NEVER without children or a fabulous life that is much better than theirs.  These are the essentials that you should NEVER contradict.  Successful people don't act the way she does.  Flaunting success is the surest way to look cheap.

Then there are the NEVERs that you have when you talk about Laurie in Palm Springs, California.  NEVER talk to the police about her.  NEVER tell people that she's selling drugs and using them, even though she's sold them to you.  NEVER be friendly with Kevin Bond.  NEVER say he's nice or smart.  NEVER cooperate with the police department. NEVER say she's a complete homophobic sex addict.  NEVER say you saw any illegal porn movies made with her in them, allegedly.  NEVER have a job.  NEVER sleep with her brother.  NEVER turn in her drug supplier.  NEVER call her out on a lie.  NEVER turn her down for sex.  NEVER refuse to introduce her to your friends.  NEVER tell Kevin Bond that she's contacted you.  NEVER say that she doesn't "work for the police".  NEVER use Laurie's real name.  NEVER tell anyone where she lives.  NEVER tell Laurie "no".  NEVER call any victim's parents.  NEVER take your computer off of Kevin or Missy (not my sister, the dancer).  NEVER say Laurie is a lesbian, even when she tells you she IS a lesbian.  NEVER tell Kevin what Laurie tells you about him.  NEVER pass up a chance to steal something from Kevin.

I only have one NEVER in my repertoire: NEVER BELIEVE LAURIE, EVER!!!

Why didn't I go to my high school reunion? It's simple.  I didn't want to see Laurie ever again, so why would I put myself in a place she could be?  I'm not stalking her...she's the one following me around.

A Walking Contradiction: Why Eliminating Laurie, Ended Up Including Her (Investigation-wise)

This many "yes'", don't exactly spell a "NO"'s just what she wants you to think!  So, at the worst, it's a HUGE "maybe".

It just depends on whom she is talking to...whether or not Laurie is Lisa.  To me, that makes her Lisa, to her that makes her not Lisa.  The key to finding out the truth is consistency of the story being told, matching up with the facts as they are found.  There may be two sides to every story, but there is only ONE factual truth.  My story has never changed.  Here is one example.  I never knew anything about Laurie's life since high school and very little about it during that time.  Now Laurie knows this and the advantage I have because of it, so she uses it for herself when she files a restraining order or talks to people that do not have anything to do with this crime.  Unfortunately, some of those people have been hearing from her since college about my life, they just don't know what she said in that restraining order or she pretended to be someone else.  You see, two sides of the story, but there is only one truth.

Here's another example.  

I had never mentioned Laurie's name until I started this investigation with the police.  In fact, the only time I ever thought about her was when someone else brought her name up to me.  You won't see one single person that I know tell you that I've ever mentioned her to anyone.  Even IN high school, I didn't talk about her...I saw no need.  On the other hand, Laurie's fascination with me and my family is very well known to many people from high school and in Palm Springs.  I've been told that police officers at the Palm Springs Police Department were under the impression that I once "worked for Laurie" using this communication system and that we had some kind of "falling out".  First of all, if that were true, then I WOULD ABSOLUTELY KNOW IT WAS HER, WOULDN'T I?  Second, you can read, from my diaries, that I didn't know whom was behind this torture and stalking, but I do know it had to have been going on for a very long time.  My questions, as an informant, show that I don't know where she is, what she is doing or anything about her.  Her knowledge about me, is evident from that restraining order itself.  It's served at my sister's former home and my mentions my police contact and uses my best friend's affidavit.  My best friend has never heard me mention her name in our entire lives...until he brought her up to me.

The information that Laurie provided to the police about me, was provided DIRECTLY TO MY POLICE CONTACT.  If she is saying that she doesn't know "anything about me since high school" then HE IS THE PERFECT CONTRADICTION FOR THAT CLAIM.  I do know that he gave her a ride home during the period just after my brother in law's death...I do know that he's mentioned her two times to me since high school.  I do know that when he mentioned her the second time, it was at his home, with my parent's present, using a story that I've told from my own life, many times, that can be confirmed.  During that time, I was asked if I would do informant work for the PSPD.  If Laurie is Lisa, this would give her a direct route to knowing what I was considering in the weeks just before I was beaten at Steven Frey's home.  That's called "motive". If she lived a block away from Steven's home, that's called "opportunity"; specifically if there is any proof of her having Steven's property or having keys that would open the doors at that property.  If there is any proof of Laurie taking pictures of me during that rape, a knock out tranquilizer or any of my possessions stolen from that would show you "means"...did she possess the ability to drug and assault me?  You see, these are the types of things that the PSPD did not all.  Factually, someone broke my skull and made me bleed...someone.

My information says that both Jonathan Mendenhall and Anthony Dabiere were contacted by Lisa whom summonsed them to a residence in Sedona, Arizona.  There is pictorial proof that Laurie WAS THERE, six hours from here, during the exact same period that we vacationed there.  After her "workplace violence" restraining order was issued.  Is that a coincidence?

In college, my car license plate was stolen, right off of my car, registration sticker and date on it.   I reported it stolen to the DMV.  My information is that Laurie and her brother were in possession of the license plate: CA PLATE "KEV BOND".  I've also been told that the pair had my fraternity pledge book, "The Purple Pilgrim" in their possession, which I haven't seen since 1987...given to me by my big brother, Hayen Lockhart.

The contradictions keep coming...

I am not a violent person, but Laurie has a history of violence.  In high school, she aggressively pursued girls that I was friendly with until they complained about her to the school administration.  She once went to a party and confronted me there.  She went to another party and pushed a friend of hers in front of a moving vehicle.  I've been told that she thought that I was driving that car, I wasn't.

The "rumor" that she was a lesbian didn't come from me, it came from the girls that I was told she leered at and touched in high school. It came from the boyfriends of those girls that Laurie befriended and inquired about their girlfriends constantly.  I don't care that she is or is not a lesbian...I'm gay, but what I do know is that she is a confrontational homophobic person.  She's pushed and verbally assaulted me on several front of other people.  Yet another contradiction.

She's told people that she was "married to" Bryan Anderson, my police contact and friend.  I know she wasn't married to him.  He's been married one time, to one person and has children with her.  Laurie's told people that she has children with him.  She's sworn in a court document to have "dated him for four years".  The "married to" comment came from another police officer...not some random person.

I will state this now and will never change my story.  I was drugged, infected, implanted then stalked from 1987...there is only one person that has ever shown an absolute hatred of myself.  She's the one that can't be eliminated and keeps showing up places where she shouldn't be.  I know nothing about her life except that she talks about me and my family...and not in a good way.  I never "worked for her" and never consented to any kind of technology stuck inside my body along with the HIV virus.  What she knows about me she knows because of this technology and surveillance...plain and simple.  This gives her the ability to read my thoughts and put just enough truth into a lie to make it believable.

When I came back to this town we grew up in, I found out that most people had heard that I was gay, HIV infected and a hopeless drug addict.  I worked for the Justice Department of the United States.  I worked way more than 40 hours a week and was in fanatically good shape.  The "hopeless" part of my drug addiction was way over exaggerated...but that came from someone, to my parents and sister, then spread.  There is no doubt that I wanted help for my addiction, but that was me that sought that out.  I've heard that Laurie was behind that rumor saying that she knows about my life because her brother, whom I don't know, has "friends that know me" and that they've talked.  That contradicts what she tells the court about "not knowing anything about me since high school" contradicts what she's told my sister.  It contradicts what she told the police and my friends.

Rae Fernandez now knows what I've known since 2003 when I lost my career to Laurie and her brother.  She's a liar.  She'll use you then discard you and you end up losing your career.  When you tell the truth about her, she gets furious.  She'll do anything to make you look bad and will use your name when she looks guilty.  I know Rae, I tried to warn you are just as much a victim of Laurie as I am, and you know whom she is too!

In the end, the truth will show that I'm not the only person that knows about these contradictions.  I've found a way to talk about them.  I found a place to comment on them.  In the end there is only one person that ever challenged my right to say these things on this site.  Guess what?  She still can't be eliminated, because it was Laurie.

It All Feels Better Now Doesn't It, Klay, Draymond and Kevin? Happy Gold Medal...I Told You The NBA Finals Feeling Wouldn't Last!

Congratulations to our friend, Klay Thompson!  Gold Medalist and all around cool dude!  I wanted to take a second to remind him and the other Golden State Warrior Olympians, "I told you it wouldn't last forever (in re. the NBA Finals feeling of loss)"  Just like I told Kerry Walsh-Jennings, "You have to find a way to forgive yourselves...and move on to greater feelings.  The sooner, the better.  Enjoy the rest of your golden summer, guys.

Then go get LeBron!!!

The Good Friends We Have...The Good Friends We Have Lost, Along The Way

Some of my friends from high school, knew I wasn't going to be at our reunion, but we remain very close.  I like them to know that I love and appreciate their support of my life.  This is one of those people...and has always supported me.  There are a few.

She sent me this to remind me of our friendship.

Saturday, August 20, 2016

Shoot That Poisoned ARROW Through My Heart: I Took Yesterday Off To Catch Up On ARROW, With Our Buddy Stephen Amell

Check out Stephen Amell, "Oliver Queen" from Arrow.  I took a day off to catch up on my series television.  I still have a lot to go, but I did manage to get past Season 2 and am working on Season 3....Season 4 I have and Season 5 is currently airing.  Watch Steve and all of the cast of Arrow on the CW.

Friday, August 19, 2016

It Wasn't Five Seconds After She Walked Into The Reunion....

...that Laurie's primal need for tits took over and "the incidents" began!

Reunion Revenge in the Ranks!!! Just Something For Laurie's Family To Consider!

Before Laurie smears on all of her foundation that she likes to call, "body make-up", and makes her dyke hair cut look less mullet, to head to Palm Springs for MY HIGH SCHOOL REUNION, I'd like to point out a few of the ranks' children that will be there.  Do you really want your historically violent daughter around these people's kids again?  Coughing, wheezing, sneezing and trying to get them to "take a sip of something".  Laurie's wanted revenge for so long against everyone in the military that she's willing to do it again to her own mom and dad.

There will be several colonels' kids, a general's kid (don't want to remind him of that car incident again do you Laurie?), a few major generals' kids and then there are city council members' kids and other people that will all watch as Laurie parades herself around like some ex-high school bully.

I'm not going...wouldn't if you paid me.  Couldn't be near these people with a clear conscience.

Here's Something To Be Happy About!!! My Dad Is Getting A Pacemaker Installed Because He Has Heart Disease...Isn't That Cool?

I'm thinking Christopher's mom should take him to get one too, since it would appear that his heart doesn't beat either!  

Today is such a terrific day!  I found out that my father is going to undergo heart surgery!  The last time he went into the hospital for a surgery, he didn't come out for three weeks, not that Bryan Anderson visited him.  You know what I think is so incredibly cool about having a boyfriend that lives near the hospital?  When something like this happens, he's never there!  Isn't that funny?  Instead of doing what a boyfriend should do, he'd rather listen to a bald midget telling him what to do.

I can't believe the luck I have!!!!  So fortunate....

This would be the second or third time that I really need Christopher to be with me (he is a priest after all) and someone else is ORDERING HIM NOT TO. I'm not really certain whom I should be more upset with?  Christopher or his handler?  I don't think it is very selfish of me to think that Christopher should want to be there, is it?  Is there anyone out there that thinks it is way past the line for someone to keep him from visiting with my father and family?  I think it is horrible.  We all know who it is and if his father was in this position the entire world would stop spinning!

When I look back on this situation, I won't forget how hard this man and his wife made it on me and my family.  It IS unforgivable.

The other people that are responsible for this horrible situation continuing is the Palm Springs Police Department and Bryan Anderson.  There is no excuse for what they are putting me through with this investigation.  What Bryan has already put my family through over the past thirty years with this technology is unforgivable too.  He's personally done so much damage that it's unbearable.  His family enjoys the safety of his law enforcement connection while mine suffers because of it.  How could you possibly let that "thing" near my family again two weeks ago?  How filthy you have become.

I did YOUR JOB FOR YOU, got no respect from anyone in your department, was vilified on the television news, got fucked over on my rape case and Bryan Anderson continues to let his ex girlfriend run his department from a home far away.

I Feel Like A Space Unicorn With A Rainbow Rocket Coming Out Of My Ass, I'm So Happy!!!

I'm literally pooping glitter, I'm so happy!!!

There is so much a person can say about isolation and poverty, but the thing that doesn't get mentioned nearly enough is how much I appreciate the police and my friends for the opportunity to spend this last nine years completely alone and isolated from all of my everyone.  I should also point out what it is like to have all that kind of free time.  You should really take a decade off from all of you friends too, I highly recommend it.

I feel like former police informants, Mike and Mindy Nichols, whom know what it's like to be in a position of poverty and isolation because of their work for the Palm Springs Police Department.  They too know how much fun it is having a target on their family's back and their kid.  It's like walking around with bullets flying by your head.  You can't thank Bryan Anderson enough for his continued support of absolutely nothing...I'm sure my brother in law would appreciate all the help he's given to Laurie and his daughters.  When you realize how little the police have done, it's no wonder that the rainbow shooting out of my ass reminds me of a Coke bottle that was once there after it broke my skull into pieces.

When you decide to become an informant for the Palm Springs Police, it's probably smarter to commit suicide, basically it is the same thing without all the jail time.

Thursday, August 18, 2016

And Where Is Jeffrey? Still Acting Like He's Made A Difference. He Hasn't!

He's not still telling all of you "how wonderful he is" is he?  Just in case any of you are under the impression that Jeffrey has done a single thing to help me, you are mistaken.  He has wasted this entire summer trying to convince everyone that he isn't being an asshole, when he is still being an asshole.  He's refused to talk to me or my family still and Laurie has planned several confrontations without any intervention from him or the police.  

There are several people that are responsible for this continuing besides Laurie and Brian.  Mrs. Mendenhall, Mrs. Monti, Joseph Johnson and especially Jeffrey and his family.  These people continue to neglect me and my family while we suffer through whatever evil Laurie concots for all of us.  Bryan Anderson has completely disappeared.  Every single bit of hatred keeps falling on me without any of these families bearing the responsibility of  their negligence.  For another month now he's watch while Laurie has put family and friends of mine in direct contact with her and her diseases.

What Jeffrey continues to tell these people isn't going to happen.  Someone needs to let him know what punitive damages for negligence means.  Soon.

Maybe We Can ERECT A Statue Of Laurie and Brian In Palm Springs...Junior Will Finally Be Erect!!!

Facebook Stalking For A Reunion Ambush?

I have a question for all of you.  If Laurie told you that I was "obsessed" with her, then why is it that I don't want to go anywhere that I know she will be AND I am the very first person to leave?  Why wouldn't I want to go to my own 30 year class reunion?  I know what she is going to do and I know what she's done for many years.  She isn't in my high school graduation class, she doesn't belong there, but she will attend for two reasons: one, to keep me from going and letting everyone know that I'm nothing like she said and two, to keep everyone from telling me about what she's tried in the past.  To accomplish that she will lie and spread more rumors, all the while looking for some tweaker that still lives in the area, that she can "swear to secrecy" to have me hurt.  It's been going on for decades.

If I had anything to do with "workplace violence threats at her work", then why is it that the only thing that prompted that response was a question that asked, "Does anyone know where L. L. is, I heard she's a lesbian now?" (Remember, I'm gay, something Laurie has been extremely vocal about long before this...and if I am asking that question it means that I have no idea where she works.)  Being a lesbian on facebook means that other lesbians will direct me in a way to find out where I should look.  I dated a lesbian in high school, have many lesbian friends locally and don't find that question, at all, offensive.  If it is offensive at her "work" then that is discrimination and prosecuting me or requesting a restraining order is way out of line.  To me it's the same as saying that she is black or Muslim, only it isn't as apparent so I asked like what a gay man would act like whom has no prejudices.  I certainly don't care about her sexuality, but, once again, I am concerned that her response to a simple question turned into a federal case.  It's a knee jerk reaction to a problem that she has, not me.

I would also like to point out that THE DAY that the restraining order was issued, during a federal stay, Laurie ended up six hours away in a small Arizona town where I had vacation plans for almost three months.  Now, I don't know about you, but that wasn't something that I did.  My mom made those plans for me.  I had nothing to do with the logistics.  My two friends were informed months before that was where we were going...and there she is again, restraining order just issued.  Does anyone see an ambush waiting to happen?  Anthony, Barbara and Jonathan did see it coming and they know that this was a planned ambush.

After she managed to get away with that one, Jonathan mysteriously ended up dead in the newspapers in December of that year and Christopher went to jail in April, just before his 40th birthday.  Anthony allegedly moved to Hollywood.  Everyone that I employed in this investigation was gone...except the few others that I worked with that I'm not naming.

Now that this has been ignored for so long, Laurie is making another attempt to hurt me again.  I'm not about to play along with her.  I don't go to reunions for one reason, they are full of people that Laurie wants to hurt.  I'm not interested in being anywhere that she is certain to show up.  I'd rather be anywhere than in this town and Palm Springs because this is her area of terror.  Outside of this area not much of a chance exists that she could hurt me, but there is still the matter of my sister, family and friends that remain.  I would be a coward to leave and not try to protect them from her here.

Facebook, something that I don't use for anything but research, is something she seems to be using.  MySpace probably too.  I don't frequent either site and I'm sure she's pretending to be someone she's taken pictures of over the years...of course she puts herself in those pictures too, just to see if anyone has anything positive to say about her.  If they don't, she makes up another account just to compliment herself.  I've seen it.

I've already had the requests coming from friends to my parents about "make sure Kevin goes to the reunion", to wit, I have already informed my family that it is not something I would do.  Why Bryan Anderson and another police officer wouldn't do this for me, I don't know, but it is just more of the same ignorance that has allowed this situation to exist.

Wednesday, August 17, 2016

Great Suggestion: Thanks For The Advice!

It has come to my attention that not attending my high school reunion is another opportunity for Laurie to say that I'm "using drugs" or "am fat and out of shape" or "some kind of loser" so a reader suggested that I post pictures of my 35 pound weight loss since March at the gym that opened in town.  Remember folks, I'm 48 years old so this is a gay man's worst, so I am still willing to do it for the sake of documentation.  I think I look pretty good for my age:

First, shirt on:

Drum roll please!  Ok shirt off.   Now I'm working on the abs, but you can see that I'm not in the worst shape ever either!  Be kind!

200 lbs, down from 230 or so...not too bad.  Thanks to Nick Jonas and friends!!!

So these pictures were taken today at 5:30 pm on 8/17/16 and there is no photoshopping, no editing, just cropping out the the dishes on the sink.  So there you have it Laurie...let's see your shirtless unedited photo.

Laurie's Tips For A Successful High School Reunion

The transformation from hopeless tweeker to hopeless high school reunion crasher is something that Laurie is somewhat of an expert on.  She's been crashing high school reunions as high as a kite now for decades.  Preparing year after year by trying to keep little tidbits of interesting information about my friends that she learns about by spying on me.  A comment here, a conversation there, some text message and basically stealing things from my thoughts and twisting them into some kind of unimaginable story that people think, "how else could Laurie know this?"  The truth is that it is no different than Laurie having a microphone on my thoughts....and what she learns she spins into some kind of weird sex story...or homosexual hate story.

So how does Laurie manage to pull it off?  Well, she does it using a lot of make up, clothes that don't allow anyone to see how skinny she's gotten, long sleeves in the summer to cover up those stubborn track marks, a shower and lots of soap, a sniff of something you can find in her purse (at all times) and very dark lighting!!!  If left in the sun she will melt.  If confronted by someone that she's had a problem with in the past, she tends to get aggressive.  She has pre-prepared lies for everyone on her pre-prepared list and begins by asking people online if they know whom is going to "be there".  Once she has a list of, "intended attendees" she matches them with people that I know, then she starts looking for the information she thinks she has about them from my memory.  Junior is on the other end of the conversation, looking up the answers for all of them...then he feeds them to her like Cyrano De Burgerac in the bushes.  Instead of a love affair she is trying to create, she's trying her best to cause another problem for my family.  As if she hasn't caused enough.

Laurie's tips for a successful reunion, or as she calls it, "her chance to hurt other people's feelings in public", is simple, prepare, prepare, prepare.  Nothing makes her more upset than my ambivalence to whatever it is that she is going to try to pull.  The only concern I have is knowing what she does and not informing law enforcement about it when you consider her past use of this information and the current state of her physical health.  I feel like informing my team about her intent and condition that I've released my obligation to my is in the hands of my team and the police I'll let them handle it.

Laurie usually finds someone to go with her to these reunions...mostly a girl named Julie, but sometimes Margie.  Neither of these girls is harmful, but they both don't know to what extent Laurie has already used them before they got there.  Fake facebook accounts have been used for years to contact people and my friends, Laurie is suspected to be behind all of them and she usually is looking to set up her "reunion revenge" but these two women have no idea that she's used them this way.  My suspicion is that Laurie takes lots of pictures with them so she can set up fake accounts on facebook and Myspace saying that she is one of them instead of herself.  The more pictures she has, the more likely it is that she can make that account look like they own it instead of Margie or Julie.  This is my suspicion.  I have a few friends that have confirmed this for me.

Tuesday, August 16, 2016

My Potential: A Threat To Laurie's Plan?

Boys Will Be Boys, Girls Will Be Girls and Laurie Will Be One Or The Other Or Both (At The Same Time)

Which one will show up to my reunion...?  Will it be the Laurie that would rather have an androgynous name like Billy, so that she could stuff a sock down there and have a pair?  Or will it be Laurie from the block, you know that girl that nobody remembers but knows what they wrote in my yearbook so she's conjured up an entire relationship?  No matter which version is plotting and planning some kind of nonsense revenge against me, I always look forward to the stories that come afterwards.  "You know he's unemployed, it's probably drugs again," Laurie will gossip, then act like nobody should tell me she said that.

I am gainfully engaged in this situation with my boyfriend...and I do have some reserves heading to that reunion too.  These individuals are known to Laurie already and they, too, know what a creepy chick Laurie is.  One false story, could be replaced by two true about me, one about her.  I know that Laurie wouldn't want some of those pictures to be seen the one where she's wearing her own, "I'm a lesbian" T-shirt.  Or the one where she's face down in some woman'

I just wanted to let Laurie know that today's conversation with a 48  year friend that I haven't spoken to in 30 years was just a small taste of what it is going to be like with all of the people she's planning to approach with Julie at this reunion.  I don't even know why she would go?  She isn't even in our class...on every level.

Whatever she is going to pretend this time, I'm sure that there won't be anybody less impressed than myself.

Monday, August 15, 2016

Signs Of Doll Mutilation Or Pet Torture Anyone? Looking For The Signs Of Child Terror and Crime

So, I've been doing some research and thinking about the "kind of person" that would act the way Laurie acts on the microphone and how she acts in person.  It is completely sociopathic...the absolute change of personality is almost text book.  Having the injuries that I've had and the encounters that I've's freaky shit to be in the same room or area as this weirdo.   That is what Laurie tells me that "she thinks is funny."   If funny means psycho or sickening, then she would be right.  How could the people that don't know what she is doing think it is funny?  Only the people that watch this system would see the split in her personality.  Most people that I know, aren't aware of whom she is.  Getting over on my friends is a joke to Laurie, but trying to fool my parents...that's dream material.  I do blame law enforcement for their lack of understanding.  It isn't their fault...they don't know that they are in the presence of pure evil, but I do.

I've asked the questions before about Laurie's behavior all my life...I know from what I experienced personally and what I had friends tell me, she had lots of problems with lots of things for many years.  One of the most concerning is the problems with little children.  I experienced that first when she was the teacher's aide for one of the classes I had in the seventh grade.  You could tell she was different than a really bad way.  She was manipulative in a very mean and sadistic manner.  She offended the entire class and teacher and was removed.

Since then I've noticed that she tends to seek out people that she sees as "easy targets" for her sociopathic masochism...which would lead me to believe a few things.  She's obviously going to see two groups of people as the easiest targets, children and the elderly.  Laurie rarely, if ever, attacks people outside of her family and the victims' friends and families.    So the obvious targets would be her mom, dad, sister and their kids and spouses, my family and our other generations and any of my friends at the reunion that have kids or parents in this area.  That would be the grouping I would look for.  There are several groups that I would look for.

For the people investigating evidence, I know this is creepy, but you should be looking for mutilation of dolls, especially the genitalia.  Any evidence of dolls that were stolen that may have had their genitalia overexposed or cut off.  Evidence of demonstrative displays using dolls as a way to scare a child.  Head of dolls chopped off.  Legs of dolls or arms pulled off.  Combinations of doll parts...all of this is a very deeply disturbed behavior for a child to display, but an adult that does this is severely dangerous to those around her, especially kids.

As far as pet or animal mutilation goes, I know that Laurie and Brian have used pets as a stressor for victims many times.  Stealing a dog or a cat or opening a door so that they can get out and get lost...shows that siblings know to use a beloved pet as a weapon is a popular way of manipulating victims.  Neither Laurie nor Brian have any kind of affection for animals or indoor pets.  They have no feelings of love for them and are likely very abusive to them when they have stolen them from a victims' home.  I wouldn't be surprised to find a dead litter of kittens or a broken neck of a puppy too.  Beastiality isn't out of the question either, but I've not seen anything that would lead me to believe that has happened here.  Remember, if you are attached to anything...especially if there is love attached to it, Laurie wants it and she wants it destroyed, or else!  Yes, she does sound like Cruella DeVille...wait until how she talks to people.  "IF YOU DO THIS, YOU'RE GONNA PAY DEARLY..." and such.

There is a level of immaturity to their terrorism.  Underdevelopment of their sexuality and underdevelopment of their understanding of what they do sounds like to other people.  The limit of Laurie's conversational skills tends to hit the wall at, "where do you work", "where do you live", "what is your husband's/wife's name/job", "what's your phone number"....and so on.  Anything she can think of to be recorded on this system for she and her brother to look at later.  There is no doubt that he has a long list of questions that she wants him to feed to her once she gets to the reunion.  By now she's thought of everyone that I'm friendly with and what she wants to know about them to fill in the blanks.  Of course, I've not told her anything personally.  I wouldn't be in the same room as Laurie.  I'm kind of surprised that any of my friends would think that I'd spend one second talking to Laurie or having a friend that would talk to her.  I tell her nothing...wouldn't.  She's spied on me for decades...things happen.  I couldn't live my life inside of a barrel forever, could I?  Most of the time my friends would beg me to go do stuff...and if I didn't, it would be because of drugs, according to Laurie.  Nope.  I didn't go because of the information Laurie would get.

You also want to be looking for costumes that adults can wear as well as kids.  The criminals that we are looking for would have things like cheerleader outfits, football uniforms, bikini underwear for men, jock straps, clown outfits, homecoming queen outfits, fairy princess outfits, cop uniforms and handcuffs...restraints....anything that could keep a victim from escaping.  A big fear is that a target will get loose and "squeal".  The whole intent is to scare a victim into believing that if you try this, your family will be killed.  Actually doing this to me or my family would send that exact message...I constantly worry about that.

Remember, my brother in law is dead because of something like this, in part.  You can't imagine all of the things that Laurie and Brian did because they spied on me.  I won't go through that again without pointing it out.

Our Fine Four Fendered Chitty Chitty Friend: I Want Chitty Chitty Bang Bang On Broadway!!! Another Great Idea From Moi...LOL

The Reunion of the Snake: Return To Horror High!!!

Five days left until Laurie enters MY 30TH High School Reunion and she's already trying to get information about one of my closest friends.  Over the years Laurie's been listening to stories (seeing them too) about one of my friends that went to college in San Diego, California.  Laurie knows that her family has done well financially and she's planning an ambush of this friend.  I've, in the past, told this friend to watch out for Laurie and her response was, "I don't remember her at all."  So it will be interesting to hear about what Laurie has to say to this friend at the reunion as Laurie tries to snake information about her (mostly her phone number) so that she can start to scam another person that I am close to.

As I've said before, I am definitely NOT GOING to this set up of a reunion.  I might as well put a noose around my neck and throw the rope over the branch of a tree.  It's far better for me to send in a friend of mine from high school to keep an eye on her.  This way we will know whom to contact about whatever it was she was saying about me and my family or others that she has targeted.  This, to me, is the smartest way of handling Laurie's rage.

Remember gang, most of the people that I went to high school with don't know what a horrible experience it was for me.  I appeared to have the whole thing wired (ala Zack Morris from "Saved By The Bell"), but the truth is that I was being stalked even then by this reunion crasher whom has no business attending a party for a school she says she never went to when bragging about her "famously wealthy" life.  I don't know what Laurie thinks, but I am certain of one thing, she definitely thinks she has an advantage over my friends from high school, especially the ones that work in Hollywood.  There are several of them.  All she needs is a phone number and an email and she'll be off to the races again trying to hurt one of my best friends.

High school, to me, was Horror High.  Every day was spent wondering if one of her friends was going to try to get into a fight with me for nothing...and I learned to deal with it the only way I could...I had BIGGER, STRONGER and SMARTER FRIENDS!  You see when you are an athlete, student body this or that, team captain and scholar, you can't really get into a fight-a-day like her friends could.  My best friend's father was the principal and my dad a beloved teacher...fighting every day wouldn't have worked.  I simply picked my spots and knew what was safe for me.  Believe me, standing up in front of an auditorium full of high school students isn't all that comfortable when you know one of them is trying to kill you.  I did it anyway.

I could always feel the glare of one hateful little monster through all of the other kids that liked me and I'd known most of my life.  You just feel it.  I can't believe that after all this time, I'm still trying to vary up my day enough so that Laurie can't plan an ambush.  I'm freaking 48 years old and I'm still avoiding a bully with a death wish for me.  There won't be a Return to Horror High for me, and I don't want to be there anyway.