When I started this journey, I've learned that it was for all the wrong reasons. I helped out Christopher's mom with a promise. This was the only way I could think of to keep her informed. It was done with love and understanding. There was no pretense, no behind the back consulting, nothing more than a desire to keep her son from being put through what I've seen a million times in Palm Springs, California. It must have worked. I've never heard from him again.
What I've found out from this experience is that the closer you get, the more people betray you. It's not something that I think most of you would like. So much effort goes into the backstabbing and lies that people tell themselves that keep their consciences clear. You'd be amazed at the things people tell themselves in order to live with their consciences. Barbara is the best example I can think of.
For decades she collected up the abused and raped friends of mine like she was collecting dolls that she neither cared about nor really treated like friends. So did the girls from the strip club. They used these men to keep an eye out for them so that THEY wouldn't get hurt by the police or Lori. I can't imagine how many times friends of mine were used. There really was strength in numbers back then. My friends that I was currently engaged with were off limits. Barbara had no desire to help any of them. Steven, Christopher, Anthony, and others were "not the type of people" that Barbara would help.
All you have to do is look at who Barbara lives with now to see what this was all about. She would tell people, not to talk to me about this crime. Why? It's really very simple, she used me like some "Ace-in-the-hole", because I knew Lori from her childhood and my family is extra familiar with Lori's crimes against us. You know, the old, "If you do something to me, I will tell Kevin who you are" shield? That always kept people safe and put my life and my sister's life in danger. Then I was staked and shot at for this kind of threat.
Something odd happened after years and years of these people helping her...she abandoned them. My friends that were off limits were, all of a sudden, people that she just couldn't wait to entertain. Of course, they couldn't tell me anything. With the help of Jonathan, they didn't. Now she lives with all of them and the others she used before, discarded and all but forgotten. You see, I blazed the trail, she took the off ramp...then flipped us all off saying, "So long suckers."
Oh she'll blame Jeffrey and blame Missy Erickson, but the point wasn't to be responsible to the community that kept her alive and safe, it was to limit her responsibility to the people that got here where she now lives. She put my life in danger to do so. Like so many discarded men that Lori and the police dumped into the system and forgot about, Barbara upgraded and told the rest of us to fend for ourselves. It was as selfish and thoughtless as Bessie Smith, Missy Erickson, Leah Fauntleroy...as it could be; all former employees of that Gentlemen's Club on Perez Road. Like a stripper with a customer, she danced, took their money, and walked off snickering about what she'd done. I have no desire to know someone like that.
Make no mistake, Barbara was abused horribly by Lori. She was beaten, raped, shot at, and it reminded me of what I'd been through, so she did what I did...she befriended the people that I trusted and made them not talk to me ever again. She's not to be admired, she's to be admonished for her lack of sensitivity and care for my own sister who has been through far more than she's been. It's sick and twisted to know that she treated my own friends like family and left me to suffer under the wrath of Jeffrey Katzenberg and Lori LaFond.
I would like to point out that it was Barbara that received the original MRI's from Desert Regional Memorial Hospital from my rape from her roommate Missy Erickson. She knew the extent of my injuries as most of you do. She did nothing. She was the victim of the same kind of rape. If those had fallen into my hands and I was in her position, I would have seen the value in them. Instead, she let me suffer. She also is in receipt of the original crime lab report from the Riverside Crime Lab that showed that there was a very sinister element to the crime of rape and frozen blood inserted into my lifeless body. Again, instead of seeing the value of that lab report to help her own rape case, she buried it and said nothing. There was so much more too. Every single time hiding witnesses and evidence so that she could hold the "Kevin Card" over my head.
Instead of understanding the value of my experience with the federal court, she did exactly what Jeffrey Katzenberg did, she reduced my life to nothing so that she could assuage her feelings of guilt. She should have those. I've never heard of a rape victim that learns of other rape victims and chooses to fuck them all over for her own success. This is what she is like. She has had absolutely no reason to fear anyone since taking off to San Diego to live with my boyfriend and friends. Her plan, make herself endeared to them so that they could defend her and not me. It's one of those types of moments where you realize this is just another stripper using men to get what she wants.
I've learned about all kinds of people out there. There are those that make things happen and those that take advantage of those that do. I do for others because of what I've been through, not in spite of it. The fact that she is a woman is another one of those fucking gender norms that say men should treat women differently than they do other people that they love. These girls have made a lifetime out of that kind of behavior to the point that they've killed for it. Not Barbara, yet, because I'm still alive. It's coming though, I can feel the life coming out of me.
Some people try to blame everything on everyone else. I too blame Jeffrey for what he's done to my sister and me. He's put a target on every single member of my family and we've all paid since he's been here. Everything from stolen ATM cards, to wedding rings, to clothes, to work tools, to $35,000 in my savings account which was the last memory of a mom that spent her life trying to believe in me and help. She's gone now...without a memory of the pain and suffering that Lori caused her, to me, it's the worst thing. He took my own memory and shit all over it. He turned my mom into a liar and my sister into a hypocrite. He tried to even make it worse for my sister too...moving her into a home where Lori could rape her for Missy's satisfaction. It's just another way that Jeffrey has shown with his actions and inaction, what kind of person he is. He's isn't here to stop a crime, he's here to promote it's silence. That's all you've ever seen him do, continue to keep people silent and cover up the evidence.
I just want to warn my friend Brian in Los Angeles, you think you know this family that is BIG Hollywood, please be careful. They will lie to you and your mother until the end of time to keep you silent. Is that really going to help the gay community of Palm Springs and Los Angeles? I can tell you it won't. He will promise you everything you can dream of...even help you succeed, but are you the kind of person that shits all over the community to succeed? Some do. I know them. I hope that RuPaul taught you better than that. I will help your mother get justice, but I won't help these others. I will do for them what they did for me...nothing.
I will remind you all that it was 11 years ago when I went to Sedona, Arizona and was blindsided by Jonathan and Anthony. 11 years ago. That's long enough for a first grader to become a senior in high school. In that time, Jonathan has pretended to be dead while living with a police informant. The issues facing people like Anthony and Jonathan are immeasurably different than what I have faced. They've literally done absolutely nothing to stop this crime from happening. What they did do was convince Christopher to join them. The bribes are many. The result is exactly the same...those with money are freed and those that don't suffer in silence. I would also like to remind all of you that I didn't rely on them for my freedom and saved money to live on and move away from Lori. Jeffrey and Bessie stole it all from me so that I would be forced to live here, close to Lori LaFond and her brother Brian, the people responsible for my rape and so many other horrible things.
There isn't any reason for me to continue to feel for them, they're fine. They have each other to assuage their feeling of guilt for what they've failed the gay community. So many of their friends are still living in Palm Springs suffering. They used all of them for their own survival and when they were in a position to help, they did nothing. Instead Anthony took the, "I deserve it," approach. It's sickening to think than anyone would still consider him a friend after all the things he used them for and he returned nothing. I'm sorry that I ever befriended him.
I worked my ass off overnights for 12 years now trying to stay afloat, Jonathan, Anthony, Barbara, and Christopher didn't. They waited until someone saved them from having to work so that they could live where I used to. It's really a slap in the face to know that Jonathan spent all those years watching me live in San Diego with all the stalking and now he's there; it's like he took over my happy life and left me with his sad disturbing one. I didn't live my life that way. He did. It spoiled everything that I loved about San Diego...it's ruined for me now.
Holding something over the head of a "friend" for as long as he and his mother have; sickening. I could never and did never do this to them. When I got evidence to help them, I gave it to them and explained why it was important. They, in return, did nothing. It's fine to want your own life again, but to do it in such a way that you would strangle someone else's happiness? Shady and typical of Jonathan.
There are problems ahead for the trio that befriended each other with a bribe, I'm sorry that I have anything to do with them. It's an obstruction of justice in two attempted murder cases, one in San Diego and one in Palm Springs. There is a police report in San Diego for my shooting that I posted on here. My best friend is a San Diego cop and so is his wife. To warn the federal government that one of their former agents was targeted and shot at is imperative to report, instead they didn't do anything. In fact and truth, this was more about keeping that under wraps so that I would be grateful if they ever did. Guess what? I'm not grateful at all.
Would you be?
This crime takes ugly turns every time these women get involved. Honestly, it's always been the girls vs. the boys in this crime. Lori has been known to rape men and while they are still immobilized she says, "You are going to do exactly what my girls tell you to do." Oddly enough, that's exactly what they did. Every victim of this crime knows that Lori hates men. She treats the men around her like slaves and she loves that they act that way. The girls are treated differently except for my sister and the sisters of the victims. My sister is the target of Lori's hatred from day one. It's very clear to see that Lori is just as jealous of my sister as always. Now Lori is looking to do what she does with all the kids of other victims...hurt them. I find it not one bit comforting that Jeffrey has supported this with his inaction and his thievery. He wants people to see him one way, but he acts another. Two faced may work in Hollywood, but in a court of law it looks suspicious.
I would also like to support the MEN that this happened to. I feel like Jeffrey has done far more than his share to diminish all of the men that this happened to. We all know his sliding scale of what is a crime and what isn't. Steal from him, for some, a huge crime, for women...not so much. If a man is raped it is to be expected when you are gay, when a woman is raped he has to protect her, even if she stalked his kid and hundreds of others, for Lori to do so. Wherever his sliding scale placed me, it wasn't ever an issue he gave a fuck about until he decided my sister could be used against me. He's a liar and a poor judge of who is responsible...and that job is done by a judge, not a Hollywood producer. He played God with my life and tried to throw me into a dumpster so many times...I just wonder where he thinks he's heading when he returns back to a Hollywood that knows more about his feelings about rape now that he's shown all of us? This isn't the 1980's...and he isn't the only person that matters.
I support my friends that committed suicide because these girls wouldn't leave them alone. I remember their tears, their lives, and their families. I wish you were all still here. There isn't a single person that I know of that remembers Shawn Parrish the way I do. He was Jonathan AND Anthony's friend long before me. He died because of his relationship with them and Lori's need to hurt anyone that helped them survive. I took that into consideration when I would visit him. I know what he and I talked about...his memory is alive in this project.
It is not by chance that Missy Erickson, David, and Bessie Smith put themselves in the path of my nieces, the daughters of the brother in law that Lori had killed. The fact that Bryan Anderson has done nothing to stop this from happening is part of his sorry assed policing technique. If something happens to either one of them, he will be held accountable. He's really not been a factor at all in this investigation. What he did to me and my family should be considered. I'll never forgive him and I'll never let my brother in law's memory contain the fact that even though he was his friend, he put his wife in extreme danger.
