Is it a choice to be isolated with this problem that I have? A target of remote neural monitoring has a responsibility to the people that he or she is around once they know what is going on inside their body and outside their mind. I've noticed that there is a lot of stuff that I have to do that isn't normal because Lori is listening in and waiting to exploit any mistake.
Imagine yourself in a room with people, like family, that Lori is interested in manipulating. You know that Lori might as well be in the room taking notes, but this system is even better than that, it records everything you think. If Lori left her computer, she could still pick up this conversation between a family member and myself. Any number of other people can too. I spend most of my time thinking about what I am going to do, then rethinking it through a Lori filter. I have to make certain that when I make a move to do anything, I don't give her any information beyond what is obvious.
For example. A few years ago, Bryan Anderson's high school girlfriend was coming out for a visit with my sister. My sister, innocently enough, told my mom that she was coming and what they were doing when she was here. For most people, not a problem, for me, HUGE PROBLEM. Not only have I just overheard a conversation about Bryan Anderson's former girlfriend, Lori's "main competition for Bryan" before their four year relationship, but she is going to be meeting my sister. Now, Lori doesn't know this ex-girlfriend, but I've known her for almost all my life. So this is a "mystery woman" for Lori to meet up with. Now I have a problem. How do I keep Lori, a woman sick with TB and an all around bad person for my sister to know, from this compelling meeting between two friends and Lori, the outsider.
Too much drama to handle. I, obviously, am in fear for my sister's life knowing what I know about Lori, from Jonathan, but I also know Lori. Nothing is going to stop her from being right there. I even wrote about it on the blog before they got together hoping that Lori would get a clue not to go, but sure enough, Lori was right there and bragging about her "relationship with Bryan" to his ex-girlfriend. By the way, one of the "four years" that Lori was "Bryan's girlfriend", this girl was still seriously dating him. So, in Lori's mind, this is her former rival. Lori knows so much about Bryan that she is ready to do some damage, except one thing, Lori doesn't really know what this girl knows about Bryan...so there's Lori spying on him and a girl that loves him in person.
Then there is the possibility of Lori putting something in my sister's drink. Then there is the possibility of transmitting the tuberculosis bacteria by coughing around the two of them. It's quite a performance when it comes to Lori making an appearance. Day and days of work must go into it. The research, the preparation, the makeup, the clothes...let's face it when a hermit like her makes an appearance, she wants to be at her best...um, yeah.
It's one great big show.
Then there is the possibility of Lori putting something in my sister's drink. Then there is the possibility of transmitting the tuberculosis bacteria by coughing around the two of them. It's quite a performance when it comes to Lori making an appearance. Day and days of work must go into it. The research, the preparation, the makeup, the clothes...let's face it when a hermit like her makes an appearance, she wants to be at her best...um, yeah.
It's one great big show.
This is never good.
Lori almost never passes up a chance to see my sister and she never passes up a reunion where she can go, get drunk, be rude and then get tossed out. So, there is either convincing my sister about Lori, which is not easy because my sister always believes the worst in me. But then there is one other way, that's staying away from everyone. My sister loves me, but Lori has spent many years trashing my reputation to her. So when Lori uses this system to tell her something truthful, it lends itself to a conversation that my sister doesn't need to have. This is the girl that sold drugs to her husband that is dead.
I do not think that there is a healthy relationship to be had there. My sister has no idea the problems that this girl caused our family, but it is easier to just avoid her than to try to convince her. Now Lori is thinking, she'll believe anything I tell her...um, that's not true either. There is a lot of proof on my side...emails, texts and other things that Lori has forgotten about. You see, Lori has a big fat mouth, when she's drunk it's even bigger.
This is really difficult for me. I am use to having some friends that I can always hang out with. Now that I'm back in my home town, I hate it. There's no way around it. If I am out in town somewhere, Lori will find out who I saw or talked to and it becomes a thing. Everything is a thing now. She's a nit picking piece of poop.
I've heard about her trips to the high school reunions. She gets "wasted" and then proceeds to tell everyone off. There is an agenda and she is going to get to everyone she can. She comes up with all these exotic stories about how rich and successful she is while wearing other people's jewelry and clothing. Usually, if it is one of my class' reunions, she's spent months trying to find people to call me to get me to go. It's happened three times so far. 10 year, 20 year and 30 year. Every time she is just waiting for a chance to scream at me in front of my friends. For some reason this is like a thing for her. I don't know what she still has to say. I have HIV. I am gay. So what? She gave it to me, she's questionable about her own sexuality and I still don't care. Oh yeah, and she's a drug dealer. Nothing to be proud of.
When I talk to someone I seriously can not think anything about them or Lori starts going nuts. Whenever I meet any female, I always tell Lori that her tits are huge. That sends Lori into a tailspin for almost a week. She believes everything. God forbid anyone talk to me at all or Lori has to meet them and tell them not to talk to me ever again. Do you have any idea the kind of feeling that gives me? I am a friendly person and without Lori around, I have tons of friends that want to be around me. I have to isolate myself or half of the people I know are going to get harassed by her with lies about me.
Currently Lori is infatuated with a girl that babysits some of the kids in our family and the lady that cleans my mom's house. Absolutely infatuated. She can't stand not knowing who they are and what they look like. I can't think about Christopher or anything sexual. If I think of any one, she immediately goes crazy about what she knows about them. It's like a Kevin-trivia game all the time. I know who these people are, but why does she?
When Christopher, Jonathan and Anthony were around at least I had friends to talk to. I don't have anyone that I can talk to about this in my tiny hometown. Though many of them have had the misfortune of running into Lori, most of them have some kind of drunken mess story to tell. I've grown tired of hearing how horrible I am for being gay and having HIV from the woman that gave it to me knocked out. Is there still a story there at all? There shouldn't be. She's only told it for thirty years. When it wasn't that it was drugs. Lori is nobody to be talking about addictions to anything. She believes in a policy of "I talk about you and you don't talk about me". Filthiest shit too. Nasty little monster that she is.
So you can understand that being me, isn't fun or social. I have to watch where I go, who I talk to, what I think about and how I think about them. Lori is constantly trying to get me to write something that I don't feel on here. It can get annoying but then I realize that the job that I have to do is teach you about her before she tries to throw me in jail again or kill me. These are her usual two viable options for targets that she hates. I should remind her that if I don't talk about her, nobody will know who she is and you can't respect someone you don't know...Lori's theory. I didn't know Jesus, but I respect him...and lots of others. Lori likes to pretend to be a celebrity but I only play along with her to keep her from going over board.
So for almost ten years I haven't really spoken to anyone. I haven't made any friends, which for me is really hard to do. I can't. God only knows what she would do. My sister's second husband was texted messages by Lori and he ended up getting a divorce and allegedly "robbed". I can't imagine. At last count, Lori ruined four real relationships that my sister has had. Two she was married to. Lori has this thing about relationships and my family. Too many people help her do this.
The whole blown out thing over Christopher should have been over long ago, but Lori likes to lie about people. Where they are, what they are doing and on and on...it's just sickening how she can't let go of my relationships? It's a really crappy situation to be in. Then again maybe I'm better off this way too. You never know if who you are meeting is someone you can trust. That's why I liked having my established friends around. Missy and Lori took care of all that for me though.
When Lori isn't planning an ambush of my sister, she has one of her friends do it. Apparently David and Missy have met with my sister...I don't think that's too odd now that they live with her. You have to understand, I'm not imagining this stuff, I have emails telling me she is doing this for pay.
When I applied for a job that I use to do at the District Court, Lori called them an lied about me. I didn't tell anyone that I'd applied either, she just knew from here. For a long time I couldn't even find a job. If I got one, Lori and David would cause a problem. Luckily I got a job when I dropped off my resume so Lori couldn't get in the middle, but she's been a pain here too.
Lori thinks of ruining my life as her job, so why can't I point out that she's doing it? How does a guy get rid of a female stalker that can spy on him from her home? Alone it isn't simple. I can call out all the things that I hear her talk about and, yes, the Palm Springs Police Department can't really, in all confidence, arrest me for nothing any longer because half of their officers are implanted. They know who she is, so I'm stuck with someone that has a overactive sex fetish that wants me to be alone but have money that she can steal. I can't ever be happy or Lori gets furious. This is what my day to day life is. Avoiding Lori LaFond.
This reminds me of high school where I spent four years avoiding Lori LaFond. It was miserable and I was isolated then too.
Coincidentally, Lori loved being 15 and in her sophomore year of high school, her "favorite time". I can imagine that bullying people and selling drugs to people to beat me up must have been a sadist's dream. Look who she grew up to be.
At any rate it is very difficult for me to be who I am simply because of who she is. She won't stop, she's made that totally clear, not that I would trust her in any capacity. She tells people, "She just can't stop herself." Yikes. Isn't that code fore, "I'm a complete psycho bitch from Hell" language? She's still trying to find out when the home I live in is empty. You don't do that when you're the victim of anything. She's the aggressor and it isn't funny. I don't like that in men and certainly not in women, it's creepy.
I planned on leaving this area with the money I saved...that was something I planned for so I didn't get stuck here with her. That, obviously, didn't happen. It's like I did all the pre-planning and she still managed to convince someone to lie to me again, this time with my own money. It's a ridiculous situation. I lose my health, my boyfriend, my home and then all my money, and I still have to defend my actions and be alone?
It's nuts.
It would be different if after this many years that anything had gone right, but so much went in to making it wrong it became a major struggle. Like, I can't help my sister being to stupid not to give my money away...that's just a stupid thing to do isn't it? How do you account for that? How does that even factor in? I had an account that my mom opened for me that I put money into...my sister was not involved at all. It was odd and it was terrifying to think that my own family might have sealed my fate here in Hell. That's a tough one to get over.
Then, if I get killed, and my family finally does look into all of the things that I know are true...then they feel like they are responsible for losing this money to a scam. All in all, it's really about making my family look bad or stupid and that's really not where I was taking this project when I started. There is the truth and then there is everything else.
This is really difficult for me. I am use to having some friends that I can always hang out with. Now that I'm back in my home town, I hate it. There's no way around it. If I am out in town somewhere, Lori will find out who I saw or talked to and it becomes a thing. Everything is a thing now. She's a nit picking piece of poop.
I've heard about her trips to the high school reunions. She gets "wasted" and then proceeds to tell everyone off. There is an agenda and she is going to get to everyone she can. She comes up with all these exotic stories about how rich and successful she is while wearing other people's jewelry and clothing. Usually, if it is one of my class' reunions, she's spent months trying to find people to call me to get me to go. It's happened three times so far. 10 year, 20 year and 30 year. Every time she is just waiting for a chance to scream at me in front of my friends. For some reason this is like a thing for her. I don't know what she still has to say. I have HIV. I am gay. So what? She gave it to me, she's questionable about her own sexuality and I still don't care. Oh yeah, and she's a drug dealer. Nothing to be proud of.
When I talk to someone I seriously can not think anything about them or Lori starts going nuts. Whenever I meet any female, I always tell Lori that her tits are huge. That sends Lori into a tailspin for almost a week. She believes everything. God forbid anyone talk to me at all or Lori has to meet them and tell them not to talk to me ever again. Do you have any idea the kind of feeling that gives me? I am a friendly person and without Lori around, I have tons of friends that want to be around me. I have to isolate myself or half of the people I know are going to get harassed by her with lies about me.
Currently Lori is infatuated with a girl that babysits some of the kids in our family and the lady that cleans my mom's house. Absolutely infatuated. She can't stand not knowing who they are and what they look like. I can't think about Christopher or anything sexual. If I think of any one, she immediately goes crazy about what she knows about them. It's like a Kevin-trivia game all the time. I know who these people are, but why does she?
When Christopher, Jonathan and Anthony were around at least I had friends to talk to. I don't have anyone that I can talk to about this in my tiny hometown. Though many of them have had the misfortune of running into Lori, most of them have some kind of drunken mess story to tell. I've grown tired of hearing how horrible I am for being gay and having HIV from the woman that gave it to me knocked out. Is there still a story there at all? There shouldn't be. She's only told it for thirty years. When it wasn't that it was drugs. Lori is nobody to be talking about addictions to anything. She believes in a policy of "I talk about you and you don't talk about me". Filthiest shit too. Nasty little monster that she is.
So you can understand that being me, isn't fun or social. I have to watch where I go, who I talk to, what I think about and how I think about them. Lori is constantly trying to get me to write something that I don't feel on here. It can get annoying but then I realize that the job that I have to do is teach you about her before she tries to throw me in jail again or kill me. These are her usual two viable options for targets that she hates. I should remind her that if I don't talk about her, nobody will know who she is and you can't respect someone you don't know...Lori's theory. I didn't know Jesus, but I respect him...and lots of others. Lori likes to pretend to be a celebrity but I only play along with her to keep her from going over board.
So for almost ten years I haven't really spoken to anyone. I haven't made any friends, which for me is really hard to do. I can't. God only knows what she would do. My sister's second husband was texted messages by Lori and he ended up getting a divorce and allegedly "robbed". I can't imagine. At last count, Lori ruined four real relationships that my sister has had. Two she was married to. Lori has this thing about relationships and my family. Too many people help her do this.
The whole blown out thing over Christopher should have been over long ago, but Lori likes to lie about people. Where they are, what they are doing and on and on...it's just sickening how she can't let go of my relationships? It's a really crappy situation to be in. Then again maybe I'm better off this way too. You never know if who you are meeting is someone you can trust. That's why I liked having my established friends around. Missy and Lori took care of all that for me though.
When Lori isn't planning an ambush of my sister, she has one of her friends do it. Apparently David and Missy have met with my sister...I don't think that's too odd now that they live with her. You have to understand, I'm not imagining this stuff, I have emails telling me she is doing this for pay.
When I applied for a job that I use to do at the District Court, Lori called them an lied about me. I didn't tell anyone that I'd applied either, she just knew from here. For a long time I couldn't even find a job. If I got one, Lori and David would cause a problem. Luckily I got a job when I dropped off my resume so Lori couldn't get in the middle, but she's been a pain here too.
Lori thinks of ruining my life as her job, so why can't I point out that she's doing it? How does a guy get rid of a female stalker that can spy on him from her home? Alone it isn't simple. I can call out all the things that I hear her talk about and, yes, the Palm Springs Police Department can't really, in all confidence, arrest me for nothing any longer because half of their officers are implanted. They know who she is, so I'm stuck with someone that has a overactive sex fetish that wants me to be alone but have money that she can steal. I can't ever be happy or Lori gets furious. This is what my day to day life is. Avoiding Lori LaFond.
This reminds me of high school where I spent four years avoiding Lori LaFond. It was miserable and I was isolated then too.
Coincidentally, Lori loved being 15 and in her sophomore year of high school, her "favorite time". I can imagine that bullying people and selling drugs to people to beat me up must have been a sadist's dream. Look who she grew up to be.
At any rate it is very difficult for me to be who I am simply because of who she is. She won't stop, she's made that totally clear, not that I would trust her in any capacity. She tells people, "She just can't stop herself." Yikes. Isn't that code fore, "I'm a complete psycho bitch from Hell" language? She's still trying to find out when the home I live in is empty. You don't do that when you're the victim of anything. She's the aggressor and it isn't funny. I don't like that in men and certainly not in women, it's creepy.
I planned on leaving this area with the money I saved...that was something I planned for so I didn't get stuck here with her. That, obviously, didn't happen. It's like I did all the pre-planning and she still managed to convince someone to lie to me again, this time with my own money. It's a ridiculous situation. I lose my health, my boyfriend, my home and then all my money, and I still have to defend my actions and be alone?
It's nuts.
It would be different if after this many years that anything had gone right, but so much went in to making it wrong it became a major struggle. Like, I can't help my sister being to stupid not to give my money away...that's just a stupid thing to do isn't it? How do you account for that? How does that even factor in? I had an account that my mom opened for me that I put money into...my sister was not involved at all. It was odd and it was terrifying to think that my own family might have sealed my fate here in Hell. That's a tough one to get over.
Then, if I get killed, and my family finally does look into all of the things that I know are true...then they feel like they are responsible for losing this money to a scam. All in all, it's really about making my family look bad or stupid and that's really not where I was taking this project when I started. There is the truth and then there is everything else.
