I don't like the way I'm being treated. I did everything the way that I planned it and as usual this whole thing came down on me like a ton of brick with shit poured all over them. What I was told is that a text message was sent to my sister telling her to lie about the money that was taken to my family again. I don't know if that is true. The text allegedly came from Laurie and Missy. Who knows. My sister is adamant that there is no money and that she didn't take it. I'm certain that in the past that she would never have done anything like this. One thing is for certain, when Missy Pissy and Laurie are involved, strange things happen. When Jeffrey gets involved, even stranger things happen.
I know that somewhere a lie has been told. My mom is definitely not telling me the truth. Over 8 years she and I put money in a bank account and I know she didn't forget that. There is no way that she could have. I love my mom dearly and when she told me that there never was such and account she broke my heart into the smallest pieces I've ever had. She cried and swore to God that she didn't know of any bank account and I'm telling you this is the first time I've ever seen her lie to me to my face. I've actually been in the bank with her when we've deposited money into that account and I've told her to bank cash into that account many times. 70 times in 6 years $350 - $400 went into that account and I can clearly recall telling her to "bank it". That's what I told her when I would cash that check and she would take that money and put it in that account. My family borrowed that money whenever they needed to and asked whenever they needed to. I can't believe that now they are acting like it never existed. My sister is pretending that it never happened.
Now that this money is gone, I've been turned back into the "drug addict" of the family. I've been sober now for nine years. I spent nine years trying to make up for the time that I lost...but really I've been sober for about 12 years. The job of the recovering addict is to make amends. It was hard working on this project and doing both because it required doing the job as a drug informant and still maintaining my sobriety with a sister that constantly uses drugs as a crutch for my behavior. I still wanted to be a good guy but I had to catch the "bad girl" behind all of this. It's not like I can get away from this case, it lives inside me. The stranger, the criminal, lives inside me everywhere I go. I can't just, "let it go", she's has a chip inside me...she follows me everywhere. It's not like you can just "move on" with your life, it moves on with you.
So rather than try to become someone that I'm not, I have to be me only better. Smarter than the last time I put it all together, I have to be perfect. I have to perfect the last Kevin with a newer more perfect Kevin that doesn't allow for the mistakes that the last Kevin made. The last Kevin had the job but didn't save the money. He had the rape case solidified but didn't save the money to take it all the way to the U.S. Attorney. This time, I worked, saved the money, had the Sedona case, saved the money and this time, someone stole the saved money.
Kevin 4.0 has to do something better than Kevin 3.0, he has to convict the money thief and do the Sedona case with the rape case using the DNA from the rape and tie it with the shooting. I can do all of that now, but only one problem. Family has decided that I am the shit head again. I'm not using drugs, but I am the "burden on the family" again. Mind you, I've borrowed all of $45 in three months but for some reason that seems to be what my sister is telling my father is "so much money". Um, huh? I haven't really been like that. I have been eating at my parents home though and I know that's too much. So now I am planning on eating every two or three days. I have no more HIV meds and I'm hoping that I can file my income tax refund when I can find a printer that works.
Thanks to all of the promises that Jeffrey made to people, I now have no HIV meds and no insurance even though he told everyone, "I won't let that happen Marilyn" about 6 or 8 months ago. Guess what, he let it happen anyways. You see Jeffrey likes to make promises he doesn't keep to anyone. He'd rather see me die of AIDS than do anything helpful. His own son doesn't do anything either. They all just sit around and lie to each other about what they should have done while my money sits in front of them doing nothing for me. This is the money that I earned working for six years part time overnights while they did nothing to help me in the first place. Why is my money there? Because it's safer with Jeffrey than it is with me? Huh? Marilyn has her own AIDS Foundation but for some reason she doesn't seem to understand that HIV and AIDS happens when someone with the virus isn't taking their meds...wake up Marilyn I can't take them when my money is in your hands.
So now that I'm being starved by my own family that thinks I'm such a burden on them for the $45 that I've used them for...fifty cents a day for ninety days, that's what Sally Struther's kids get, I just wanted to let my family know how much I am sorry for not doing more to help them. I should have done more. My father has been a real asset to me during this time with all of his moral support and ass kicking. I couldn't get a penny from him if I needed a stick of gum. He's the most frustrating human being on this planet.
My mom, of course isn't helping me either.
I've been trying to get my old overnight job back.
Christopher is doing nothing to help me.
Jeffrey won't let me work for the police.
So I'm the fucking burden of the family again.
There were apparently lots of donations made to me and my family, Jeffrey wouldn't let me have any of them. So I'm starving. He wouldn't let me have one red cent. So if you did donate money thanks, I never got anything from it. Jeff doesn't believe in letting me have food, or drink, or medicine. He and my sister share the same philosophy. Starve him to death. Isn't that nice? Great people.
