I don't know if Laurie made it to my high school reunion or not, but I really don't care. The questions about my friends that probably were there are already coming. It's no secret that I have some pretty terrific friends that have done some incredibly great things with their lives. I stay out of their business because having the world's biggest snoop on your ass, isn't conducive to close friendships outside of other people that are like myself. I'm not upset that I kept my friends safe from Laurie's wrath all of these years and, in fact, if she did speak with them, they have only themselves to look at for the answers that they gave her. I don't blame them, I simply don't want the awesome responsibility of having to protect more friends than ever. I already have lots of friends that are suffering from intentional infections of HIV that came from a woman and I don't need my high school friends getting close to her.
Warning them in person is a dauntless task. Laurie knows what I am doing when I do it, then the defensive calls start with the lies that she tells to cover them up. When it comes to high school friends there are a few nevers. Laurie is NEVER a lesbian, she is NEVER HIV positive, she is NEVER close with her brother, she is NEVER on drugs or has ever used them, she is NEVER without children or a fabulous life that is much better than theirs. These are the essentials that you should NEVER contradict. Successful people don't act the way she does. Flaunting success is the surest way to look cheap.
Then there are the NEVERs that you have when you talk about Laurie in Palm Springs, California. NEVER talk to the police about her. NEVER tell people that she's selling drugs and using them, even though she's sold them to you. NEVER be friendly with Kevin Bond. NEVER say he's nice or smart. NEVER cooperate with the police department. NEVER say she's a complete homophobic sex addict. NEVER say you saw any illegal porn movies made with her in them, allegedly. NEVER have a job. NEVER sleep with her brother. NEVER turn in her drug supplier. NEVER call her out on a lie. NEVER turn her down for sex. NEVER refuse to introduce her to your friends. NEVER tell Kevin Bond that she's contacted you. NEVER say that she doesn't "work for the police". NEVER use Laurie's real name. NEVER tell anyone where she lives. NEVER tell Laurie "no". NEVER call any victim's parents. NEVER take your computer off of Kevin or Missy (not my sister, the dancer). NEVER say Laurie is a lesbian, even when she tells you she IS a lesbian. NEVER tell Kevin what Laurie tells you about him. NEVER pass up a chance to steal something from Kevin.
I only have one NEVER in my repertoire: NEVER BELIEVE LAURIE, EVER!!!
Why didn't I go to my high school reunion? It's simple. I didn't want to see Laurie ever again, so why would I put myself in a place she could be? I'm not stalking her...she's the one following me around.
