Allegedly: Did Lori LaFond Get Lost In The Clouds? Stole iPhone Mistakes May Prove To Be The Key In Lori LaFond's Life Of Crime!!! Thank You Apple!!!

 

What in the world is wrong with Lori Jean LaFond?  It might be more efficient to ask what is right with her.   After three days of constant harassment, I received some information that seemed to do a lot to back up what I had been saying all along.  She has massive mental issues that are manifesting themselves in sexual sadism.  It would appear that Lori's extensive sexual problems are bigger than her iPhone skills are ready for.

Lori loves to steal things.  It is an absolute truth.  She steals anything she can get her hands on and hordes the stolen goods at her home and any place where she can find room.  Two such victims of Lori's thefts are Lily Tomlin and Jane Wagner.  She once stole everything I owned.  I couldn't even buy a pack of underwear without all of them being stolen the next day.  She steals family photos to pretend that she is somehow related to the people in the pictures.  Oh, the stories she tells with those!  Lori's favorite play on words is, "I took that picture."  Lori insists she means with a camera, but the truth is she took it from another person's home.  Her double entendre is not limited to pictures either.   She likes to steal money and say, "I'll pay you back!"  Then she does something else mean to the person and says, "See, I told you I'd pay you back!"  Not very funny.

I respond by telling Lori things like, "I promise I'll take care of you, Lori!" She gets excited by that kind of stuff, but I'm just talking about putting her in jail so I can say, "See, I told you I'd take care of you!"

So one of the items that Lori just loves to steal are phones.  She stole my first cell phone with all my fraternity brother's numbers in it, then proceeded to call all of them once she infected me with HIV and implanted me with a microchip.  She had so much to say to all of them that I really didn't do much more with my fraternity because of all the things she'd said.

I digress.

Lori now loves to steal iPhones, go figure.  They are expensive and she loves anything that makes her appear successful enough to own one.  So she ended up stealing one from one of my friends.  His sister had given it to him along with a nice Apple notebook.   Nice sister huh?  As was usually the case, Lori stole it and wouldn't give it back.  She just loved her new iPhone.  She used it for years and years, unfortunately, Lori doesn't know one aspect of Apple products.  You register them.  The original owner registers the phone and iTunes is linked to that phone.  So when you plug your phone in it syncs with the computer.  Lori thought she'd solve that problem by stealing the iTunes login using Jonathan's sister's email.  She does this using phone portability.  She changed the password to iTunes but that still didn't do what she thought it would.  Every time Lori logged into iTunes or synced her phone, all the images, videos, music, and everything would update on to his sister's iTunes that she couldn't log in to.

Guess what?

The sister is smart.  The iPhone was purchased at an Apple store so the phone info was still under her name.  With that, she was able to reclaim her iTunes with all of Lori's updated pictures and videos on it!!!  Lori was then locked out even though she knew she still had the iPhone in her possession.  So we took a look at her videos and pictures and guess what?  Lori's been a really bad girl...extra bad.  Jeffrey Dahmer bad.  BTK bad.  Ted Bundy bad.  There are thousands of pictures and hundreds of videos of Lori in various criminal situations.  Knocked out people.  Sniffing butts.  Sodomy.  Oral copulation.  Rape.  Kids.  Stalking.  Everything we ever needed to prove that Lori Jean LaFond is a huge criminal.

I guess it pays to be a smarty pants after all.  Now Lori is wondering if Margie Miller is going to get her iTunes back too.  Afterall,  it was Lori Jean LaFond, allegedly, that stole this Apple computer from Margie when Margie drove her to Sedona, begrudgingly.  Margie didn't know Lori was stalking me to Arizona.  Margie probably won't be surprised to see what Lori has uploaded from her iPhones.  Syncing being what it is, Lori may have just uploaded her criminal history to Apple, to whom we are extremely grateful.  

Thanks, Tim at Apple and the great people that work there!!! Happy hunting.