The other night I posted the "I Quit" message on this blog. I guess I needed to be a lot more clear on what I meant. First of all I must tell you that the last three and a half months Lori has switched up this system to include ONLY her. No other people are allowed to be heard and her opinions are the only ones that are allowed. That isn't how I entered into this investigation with Benjamin Katzenberg, Martin, and Leah. This was my original team here in this area and I said I would work with them under certain understandings that 1.) I could not be prosecuted for what is said and recorded on this system 2.) That we put the girl who plays "Lisa" who we now know is Lori Jean LaFond in jail. 3.) I run a clean investigation which means that all laws federal, state, and local must be adhered to. 4.) I am not to be played with by my own team and used as I have been in the past (Martin knows) 5.) Any changed in my understanding of this investigation must be relayed to me, there should be no man in the field left unprotected and unaware.
I do not negotiate with criminals or terrorists. This leads to a relationship between investigator and suspect that can be misleading. Nobody was allowed to interfere in my personal life. I don't interfere with theirs and they needed to stay out of my relationship with Christopher because he is the other informant in this case.
Many of these basic rules have been violated. Benjamin has not really lived up to these standards because of his father's clandestine relationship with Missy Erickson, David, and Bessie Smith. This relationship has already become a huge problem in this investigation. The understanding of this situation is this...a victim of this crime is either a person that was raped, infected and implanted by Lori LaFond or her brother and does not continue to have a relationship with them. I don't deny that some of these people have been victims but any victim that would seek out other victims for torture or crime seems to have a role in that crime.
I will not work with anyone that has committed a crime during this investigation. I simply can not afford to put my reputation together with someone that would do that to this investigation.
We, as a group of friends, have already had our operator/slave of Lori's on the inside for many years, his name is Jonathan Mendenhall. When he left this organization my team no longer needed anyone inside Lori's home to investigate. It appears to be too dangerous for us to have someone inside. I can not protect them as an informant either. There is no separate investigation inside of my investigation as there doesn't need to be one. You should not be inside of Benjamin's home using this technology if you are not working for me or him. If you can not be objective because of a familial relationship with one or more of the criminals, you can not work on this investigation. For instance, if I found out that my own sister was working for this organization, I would still seek to put her in jail like any other person. There is no "but we're family" bullshit in a real investigation...period.
So I was being subjected to Jeffrey cutting off all communication between my team and myself with only Lori doing the talking with her friend Christian Johnson. First of all Lori is in a position or many positions to be arrested and the focus of these neural conversations began focusing on my personal life. Not acceptable. Jeffrey's objectivity has been questionable in the past with Missy Erickson...and I have information that will show that she has a substantial role in at least my rape and drug dealing in the area. Working with her is not only offensive it is likely that she may play a role in other crimes against my family.
I will state that Lori is suspected of a murder where my brother in law was her drug customer and someone she lied to about my sister. Anyone that would help her to hurt me would likely be considered an after the fact suspect in that murder. Also she is suspected as being the person that ordered a hit on a federal employee, me, while working for the federal government. Anyone that would halt any information that would be helpful to that case should not be working for me...not just because I'm the victim but because of the illegal surveillance of Justice Department employees.
I have been made aware of a relationship between Jeffrey and Missy Erickson that I believe could cause problems to my investigation. Therefore I am put in a position where I can't communicate with his son on a course of action without him being influenced by his father's biased opinion. Clearly Jeffrey is not following the laws where his own home break in was concerned. This may be because of Missy's relationship with Lori. If Jeffrey had followed the law, then other crimes may not have been committed against me, my family, and unknown others. Failure to prosecute can be held against him.
Likewise I can not work with people that would take a bribe. Using someone's dream to have their family move to California is no excuse for cutting off communication between me and Christopher. If someone has accepted a bribe for silence about this crime or Jonathan's whereabouts, then it isn't someone that I can work with. So I can't be friendly with the Mendenhall's because I feel that they have obstructed justice by allowing me to believe that their son is deceased. Now, of course, I am to also believe that Pastor Ed Mendenhall is also deceased. Which I also believe is an obstruction and if, as I am told, Christopher and his family are living with an understanding that they can't talk to me then you can clearly see that I am working on my own.
I do not intend to quit my informant work for the people of this state. I quit working for anyone that would obstruct Christopher or myself from finding justice and truth in this situation. However, if he has accepted a bribe for his silence I won't work with him either.
I work alone on this crime because that is how Jeffrey made it. It wasn't his place to commence a second investigation in the middle of my own investigation. Mistakes were obviously made on his part. I had nothing to do with his plan which seems to have included putting innocent men in jail to succeed in exposing this crime. I don't believe in innocent people going to jail. I think that working with him is not possible given his past and current relationships with possible suspects. It isn't professional.
I quit working with anyone that would put my safety last. I would never allow someone to bring my family in with a half understanding of the whole crime. It is my understanding that Christopher would rather his mother not be involved in this situation, however when she asked me to watch out for her son I began this project to keep her informed. However, if at some point she became more aware of this crime than I, I would insist that she do the same for my family as I did for her, whether Christopher was involved or not.
For many years I've respected the relationship between Christopher and his mother and sister because I felt it was similar to my own. When they became more aware of this crime against me and him, then they should have done better than silence. What I've experienced in this situation has been nothing short of a one way relationship with someone I haven't had any contact with in over thirteen years. How long should I have these kinds of feelings for a person that refuses to contact me or make any other attempts to make my own family better protected. Leaving it up to Jeffrey and Marilyn has proven to be a worthless endeavor.
I can be honest with all of you here. I do love Christopher from long ago. The Christopher he is now, isn't someone I know. It was his unilateral decision to cut me out of his life completely without any regard to the informant relationship we gave to the people of this state. My feelings for him have changed dramatically from then. I don't think that anyone that loves me could remain so silent. Nobody that loves me could ever treat me like this. I am under no illusion that Christopher even thinks about me one bit. What I am familiar with is Missy and Lori's need to have someone, anyone that could play with my heart. Christopher having any part of that by not being a clear communicator is a problem for both my family and myself. This is not a game for me Mrs. Monti, it's my pathetic life like it or not. I feel used. I feel like you have something over me and my family now that you never would have had if I didn't love your son. I did some terrific things for my last boyfriend's family too.
Here's the thing people, if you help Lori to hurt me, then I can't be your friend. It's that simple. Too many of you have ties to Jeffrey or agreements with him or someone who pretended to work for him...but in the end you either know and love me or you don't. So I quit anyone that would be in agreement with silence about my torture...it doesn't do me or my family any good to believe in someone that has hurt me intentionally for thirteen years. If you have some agreement with him that you think is helping me, think again. Nothing that he has ever done has helped me. I've become more isolated, more untrusting, less social out of a need to keep other people safe. I think he's a silent monster of a father.
I am really sorry that my life interfered with his fame and fortune. It wasn't my fault. I certainly never spent one second of my time learning about him or his family... I don't stalk people or celebrities. I have no interest. I think that I've had a lot of interest in this crime because of my friendship with Benjamin and because of who I am. What Jeffrey could have done and what he chose to do will astound many parents. I'm constantly feeling like he's diminished my life into the smallest most unimportant non significant place a human being could be. I would also credit Christopher for this feeling too. Christopher's love for his own family is not shown equally to mine and it doesn't have to be if you don't love me.
So now that Lori's had her days of defining what "I quit" means, I mean I won't ever work with or for someone that would put my family and our friends at risk. I quit... I won't have respect for you but I will do what the law requires for the safety of the public.
I quit anyone that would hold a secret above my head in any way because they clearly have other ways of protecting themselves...which I have tried to offer. I shouldn't have to. I am the victim of being a person that Lori took an interest in. I don't know why. I believe I am a special person with special god given gifts...but that's really a me thing.
I quit anyone that would intentionally stop what god gave me to help others. That includes you Jeffrey. Silence equals death is what we used to use in New York with the AIDS crisis. It is equally important in this crime that silence equals death....I mean this from the bottom of my heart, what Jeffrey took from me and his son was what god put together and he forced apart.
I quit relationships that have anything to do with this crime and the people that commit it. Love should have so many other people involved. I do realize that writing my feelings is another example hypocrisy where this is concerned, but my feelings are often diminished by other people's wealth, position, and lives. My feelings aren't important to anyone but me, I guess. So I quit anyone that feels that my feelings shouldn't matter. Someone like Bessie Smith, who may have considered my sister her best friend, but who I know is holding a huge secret over her head.
I won't ever let something like money stop me from loving my sister. I may not like what she did or ever understand it, but what it cost me was a future with someone I loved. She won't ever understand that keeping me from a lawyer was what this was all about. It wasn't about keeping my money safe. It was about someone else's need to keep me hurt. I quit people that would find that to be their safety. My pain is their shield? That doesn't make me feel good it makes me feel unimportant in a way that nobody could understand but me. There isn't any love. My family loves me but Jeffrey and Bessie compromised that too. It isn't just money, it's the trust. I can't have that with my mom anymore. My father does have that with me but it's been horribly tainted with lies. He loves me though.
My life ended a long time ago. About when I got shot in San Diego. Ever since my brother in law's death and that shooting...I stopped mattering to other people. I became someone that people could use and discard. They could blame that all on drugs or bad relationships. I didn't ever think I lived my life that way. In other words, everything I ever did, didn't matter.
It's not cancel culture, is way more extreme. The challenge to make someone good into someone bad, must be interesting to people but I know who I am. I refuse to let anyone tell me that I'm a bad person with bad thoughts or anything like that. I spent my whole life staying away from people that I love for their own benefit. I can't really have a relationship, I can't take part in their lives, I've missed more things for my friends than they could ever understand. It was clearly for them, because it didn't benefit me at all. My whole life was for other people.
Even Truman got the option to quit, didn't he?
Even Truman opted for a life he chose, not someone else.
As I recall, he chose to leave...or quit. That's what I meant.
