I remember watching The Truman Show when it came out and feeling really sorry for the Truman character until her sailed away to the door at the end of the studio. The concept of watching a real person grow up on television in a world dreamed up by producers and made to look like the real world seems interesting, but the reality is that Truman wasn't living in the real world. He was experiencing a lie that other people thought was good for him. They influenced his life in ways that the real world may not have and everyone was in on it but him. Though the show was a big hit for people to watch, I felt it was cruel and in some ways unnatural.
I kind of know what that is like. Though I wasn't implanted until I was 19, Lori was cruel to me from the age of about 9. I can't imagine what she must have thought about waiting to have me implanted and hooked into her system. I know she was trying to do that for the longest time. I always knew she was different than other people because the way she attacked them. Her anger towards me was unnatural. I certainly hadn't done anything to cause it, I didn't realize that she was hoping that kind of anger towards me would catch on with other people. I knew that being anywhere she was, wasn't good for me. As soon as college rolled around I was ready to leave...and never come back! My experience in high school nothing like I pretended it was. I put on a happy face but inside I knew Lori and her friends were always after me.
My first year of college was probably the best year of my life. I was finally free from the boys that Lori sent after me in the hopes of scoring drugs. I didn't have to worry about being ambushed or humiliated any longer. I had been freed from all the violence that Lori wanted to put me through. There were two incidents that I now remember that were definitely Lori's doing. The first was a letter I received in the dorms. It was from a girl that was still a senior in high school at the time. The letter was disturbing. This girl and I were friends and I'd never even seen her angry with me or anyone. The letter arrived out of the blue and it wasn't very nice. I can remember her saying that she had this fantasy where I was standing in front of her garage door so she drove her car through it. I thought that was scary and weird. This was a nice girl that I'd know for a few years. No animosity between us at all. The letter was so weird I showed it to my roommate and all the people in my dorm. Most of them were very set off by the letter. I didn't write back. How she got my dorm address is unknown.
The second thing that happened was one of Lori's guys that tried to beat me up for drugs was inside of my apartment when I came home from school. This wasn't someone that I'd ever expected to see again. He was one of the worst of the group of boys that Lori traded drugs for violence and was once a close friend of mine growing up. He was just standing there but I'd spent a whole year in college and I accepted his apology for the way he'd acted before. Still, it made me uneasy to think he would be there when I wasn't aware. It was an emotional ambush not a physical one. Since I've been back home, I've run into him a few times here too. He's nice enough now but Lori caused him a lot of problems after high school too. I'm pretty sure that he and I share the same problem with Lori; she's evil and she implanted both of us. I know his parents can't stand her and Lori's been asking a whole lot of questions about his baby sister. She's someone I met at the gym and I told her I was her brother's friend. I knew her as a little girl growing up and she's really beautiful now. I watch out for my friends' younger siblings.
Obviously now I realize that Lori was still stalking me even then. The next year I would fall sick converting to HIV positive and Lori would begin contacting my fraternity brothers...not that she knew any of them, she just had my phone and started doing what she always does...act familiar with them when she wasn't.
My sister and Bessie Smith were down the freeway in San Bernardino with my roommates sister. It's odd that both my sister and my roommate's sister would both also end up having problems that Lori created. I think her obsession was in full swing as she soon started to lie to one of their boyfriends about working for the police and Bryan Anderson. He spent like a year or two doing surveillance being told that it was police training, but it all ended when he ended up crashing his car and finding out that Lori wasn't telling him the truth. It was a shock to everyone that he wasn't really police training but lying to everyone that he was. It caused a big problem at the time. Looking back he was probably one of the people that was following people like me around. Someone Lori didn't like but wanted to keep tabs on.
I had no idea the depth of Lori's insanity. I can't imagine anyone that I would go to such lengths to stalk using strangers like that. It was obvious that there were people in my apartment complex that were also keeping an eye on me. I can remember thinking that it was odd that so many people that used to be nice to me were all of a sudden staring me down at the pool and when they would walk by. It was really creepy.
This was really the beginning of my life being turned into The Truman Show. It was also the beginning of the surreal part of my life. There was the reality of my real life and the surrealist reality. There was work, college, and friends, but there was also stalkers, weird people following me, and a feeling of uneasiness. Even one of my roommates for a year who went to college in the east was living with me for a year and going to Cal State San Bernardino. She would come home and tell me about the weird people that would come into her work and just stare at her. I was also being followed by people on the freeway and in the mall where I worked. Looking back, this was another person who Lori started rumors about. Lori dreamed up a fake relationship between this girl's mom and the Asst. Superintendent for the school district. I heard these bogus rumors and thought it ridiculous. I know both of these people and it wasn't even close. Nevertheless Lori was getting involved with the Asst. Superintendent's family on many levels. To this day she still talks about the Asst. Superintendent's wife all the time, like she is some kind of friend of Lori's. She wouldn't be if she knew all the problems Lori has caused for her family too. That's for another day
The intrusion was real. I always said that I had a healthy paranoia about the situation. I knew something was going on and I knew it was everywhere. Then things started to happen and I was bewildered. People that I was friendly with started showing up at my apartment with my roommate. It was like people from work would be in contact with people from school. It all seemed surreal. There were things that I knew but told nobody about that my girlfriend found out about and I kept thinking, how could she know that. It seems to me that Lori is a very jealous person especially when I was dating girls. I don't know why, she clearly thought I was homosexual way back in high school, and I definitely wasn't interested. Then these stalkers, started coming into the restaurant where I bartended. It was pretty obvious when they were stalkers and just regular customers. The stalkers would frown and never laugh. Other customers were just like normal people. If they didn't sit in my bar, they would sit where they could watch me. It was surreal and all I can say is that you know it when it is happening.
I would find out later that Lori had a person or two get jobs where I worked too. Then she started contacting the people I worked with too. Honestly I think she had some kind of fantasy about these girls that I knew being her friend or something. These aren't the kind of girls that would get a call out of the blue and start believing it either. Lori thinks she knows how to talk to women, but if you are a woman and talked to her, you wouldn't think so.
It wasn't long before Lori was really into my then girlfriend. She and I lived together in Redlands in a two bedroom apartment. I know that Lori is fascinated by her too. She got to spend time with my family taking some pictures of my sister, brother in law, and niece. She and I weren't destined to be together and when she came back from Europe, she had a new boyfriend and I was so happy for her. Lori probably thought that I was mad or jealous about it, but I was understanding that I was gay then and I didn't want to hurt her, so a new boyfriend was awesome. She eventually married him and I went to the wedding. Lori tried to get involved by calling the maid of honor, Elaine, and causing some kind of problem. It, as always, was surreal.
I still love this girl like a friend and am so happy that Lori didn't destroy her life too.
As is usually the case, more surreal happenings would continue to go on and on.
Eventually I would be shot at downtown San Diego while still being stalked everywhere. From what I hear, Lori just couldn't stand that I was happy and working, so she wanted me dead. My brother in law was shot and killed about a year and a few months earlier, Lori has told people that this was one of her biggest successes. I am appalled by this kind of comment. I am certain that my brother in law never did anything to hurt Lori, he was just married to my sister and that was enough. Before he died though he did tell me that Lori LaFond was his drug dealer and that I needed to be very careful around her because she was weird about me; no shock there. I firmly believe that Lori wanted me dead for my sister's attention. Why this makes her so happy, I have no idea.
Lori obsesses. I don't know why. I don't know why someone needs to get revenge on someone that has never harmed them in any way. She's obsessed about Bryan Anderson, Marc LeDrew, my sister, and lots of people that her sister Jacquie is friendly with. I don't personally know this person and didn't realize who she was until Lori filed that restraining order with Jacquie's affidavit that lied about me contacting her. I thought, I've never talked to this person in my entire life and here she is saying that I have? That's two weird sisters in one family. Clearly I was on the right path with that restraining order because the lies were blatantly untrue. The point of even looking for Lori LaFond was to eliminate her as a suspect. She sure didn't do that with that restraining order, then following me to Sedona, Arizona.
You can't really eliminate someone that keeps showing up where she shouldn't be and filing restraining orders for a place she doesn't really work. No that would include you in the Lisa-profile. What's really most disturbing is how she lies to play the victim of someone. Hard to believe she isn't a suspect when she lies about where she works then shows up on your vacation. It's something that I am sure that others know all too well about. You don't have to tell Lori where you will be in person, she'll just show up there and ambush.
I live a real life Truman Show and I'm at the part where I want to get into the sail boat and leave. I don't feel safe or loved or anything. What I feel is that Lori is closing in on me and my family...and she's getting help from Jeffrey. That's an added factor that I didn't ever have before. I can't do anything now that he's helped to rob me and lied to my sister. It's like being stalked by a very hungry predator with friends that help her hunt me down. My friends were told to stay away. I have nobody protecting me from this person that I've never known. I've never even spoken a bad word about her until I began writing this blog. She had no reason to hate me or my sister, she just did. Whatever she's told you about us, isn't true.
This is a long slow homicide, I tried to tell you all to help stop her. I don't know what else to do. I've tried to get help from everyone I can think of. I have the broken skull and the shooting information from San Diego. I can't get attention for any of this stuff if someone is going to push everyone else away. The offers to help me have been there, Jeffrey is determined to keep them away. Why would anyone want to further terrorize me. This was my last resort. Even now I wonder if writing this was a good idea because it finally gives Lori a reason to hate me but she's been following me around for at least 34 years or more...I had to do something. Bryan asked me to be his informant. I didn't even consider it until I was brutally raped and arrested 6 times after that with no convictions. I couldn't take another stupid arrest and I wanted to protect Christopher. The informant work wasn't against Lori, it was about Steve Frey, but it became about the police and Lori after I'd done some research.
I can't keep begging for help that doesn't come or gets shunned away. I think it's getting worse too. Now my sister is stealing and lying to me. My father lied to me. That's never happened before. What I tried for years to keep away from my friends and family here in 29 Palms, is now spreading to them. I don't know how to keep people from hurting my sister when she is being fed lies. She's vulnerable after a life of horrible events. Taking advantage of her wasn't something I thought Bessie would do, but she did.
It's like a surreal horror story unfolding right before my eyes. I tried my very best but again someone else decided what my fate would be. I know that I saw what happened to me happening to Benjamin too...and I know he will be next if Lori gets to me. I know this started around age 13 for him oddly enough with David, his neighbor. All these years later, in the middle of our investigation, David shows up again and I don't think Benjamin was thrilled about it. These are the signs of something very bad. It is a bad omen that Jeffrey is so adamant about helping Bessie, Missy and David instead of us. I can't help feeling like someone was lying to him about me, but I know the truth is that I did everything a person would do to try to help people.
There are victims of this crime that have never known what it was. Then there are victims that ended up helping Lori for their own reasons. There is a difference. The difference is that the victims that don't know what this is have nobody to protect them...Palm Springs was full of these people. The second group may have been robbed or bank accounts missing or even tried to keep their own families safe. I still consider them victims, but they have some control over what they know. All I can tell you is that I'm aware that most people have been warned not to help me at all, that's frightening. Jeffrey seems to have this as his golden rule, so why tell people that he would help me and they need not worry. It seems to me that it would benefit Lori most with this attitude. That's why I don't trust him, he's never done anything to help me at all. He's been proud of that too. Someone mentioned that he promised Missy and David that he wouldn't help me until they left...that means that the two of them would be in control over my safety. Not sure that makes me feel better either. After all, David and Missy were also involved with the theft of my bank account.
I don't know what to do. I am losing my mind trying to balance my friends and their families with my own family's safety without making Jeffrey mad because he allegedly gets really upset with Christopher if he tries to help me. I used to think he would come and find me, but I know now that it won't happen, he's too afraid of the repercussions of Jeffrey. I don't like how that makes me feel either. There was a long period where I didn't ever say anything about how I felt. I kept putting other people first because they needed it. That's why I paid for an apartment in Cat City that I only used on the weekends. I knew that Lori was after Anthony and Christopher and if they had a problem the two would have a place to sleep. I don't care about all the other ways to judge me, this was a purely friendship thing.
If I say anything about this situation I get punished. If I don't say anything then I get, "Why didn't he say something?" Jeffrey is awfully concerned with keeping Lori happy too. I don't understand? When did my investigation turn against me? It took a tremendous amount of courage to go on television twice to tell people about this crime. It definitely was not rewarded. I was ridiculed, lied about, and shamed. Still I know that what I did was for the victims that have never had anyone on their side. I did the work that Benjamin and I agreed to do. Benjamin wants to hold up his end of this investigation and we know his father disagrees with him. I didn't agree to this investigation with his father, I did it with him. If there was any change of direction, I should have been made aware. I wasn't. That left me out in the field with no protection at all. I couldn't even trust my trusted friends or my boyfriend, they were all making deals with Jeffrey. It's really been an attempt to strip away everyone that shows me love or support. Isolating me with the person that bullied me my whole life. I knew as soon as Bessie Smith took that money that this crime was going back on to the path it was in Palm Springs.
Lori has even begun to say that she is working for Jeffrey's investigation of me. If Jeffrey is investigating me, then he shouldn't be doing that from his son's home. I just don't see anyone doing the kind of work that I was doing. What I see is the same girls vs. the boys attitude that was behind the terror in Palm Springs. I wasn't interested in that there or here. I put my entire life on the line for this investigation because I knew it would work, but somehow that was derailed. The good work I did do, swept away like trash. I have no idea what Bessie Smith told Jeffrey or allowed others that don't know me said, but I can tell you I'm not anything like someone you would be investigating. I don't commit crimes and I believe in justice. I'm just bummed for the boys that were raped in Sedona. They should have more confidence in what I was doing. They should have been able to trust Jeffrey.
I do care about what happened to them. I also care about what happened to Missy and Leah there too. I have never been so frustrated in my life. How can doing nothing be better than what I planned for years? I should have been better at protecting them. My own vacation was used by Lori to have some odd sex with kids situation. It's not a good feeling. I had no idea who was in that home with her, I wasn't ever there. There should have been better support. I had no idea that Lori would break her own restraining order and follow me there. If I had known she was going to be there, I would have cancelled the trip and gone somewhere by myself.
The problem is that I won't lie about this situation. I wouldn't trade two little boys for any amount of money. They were across state lines, just like me, with the same person that has hurt them before. They also know that I am not a big fan of hers. I'd already put up flyers in their apartment complex looking for Lisa. I didn't want anyone to think that I was at all a fan of hers. I love kids way too much to let someone knock them out and hurt them. I am disappointed to say the least. The guilt I feel for this having happened on my vacation, makes me sick.
There is a lot more that goes into that whole story but in the end, it wasn't what it should have been. I'm disappointed that justice has been stopped. I'm even more disappointed for Benjamin. I wouldn't want my father making these kinds of calls and making me look bad. It also goes to his inner child and the pain he's already dealt with because of David. I'm the person that's already been there. I know what that feels like and I wanted him to feel the success of overcoming that period of his life. Now it's tainted.
After all that, we can only go on from here. Crime is always about the past. The facts don't change. I'm still the person that was targeted in Sedona. People knew and said nothing. I would much rather have cancelled the trip and done something by myself then run into what we ran into. It could have turned out worse, but how can I say that when people and kids were raped? I'm not glad it didn't happen to me because it happened because of who I am to Lori.
Now all I want to do is live with Christopher so I can feel like someone cares and loves me. I know it is forbidden by all, but that's something that makes me feel safe.
I never intended to compete with a victim's parent when I was the one that told them what the truth was. Being second guessed is to be expected, but to be completely ignored? I am more concerned than ever about who I work with now because there are too many people making the wrong calls. My opinion was very clear, we investigate and at the first opportunity to put Lori in jail, we take it. Nothing fancy or over thought, simply take the opportunity when it presents itself.
