Is it so hard to understand what it is like on my side of the fence? We live in the same world, pay the same taxes, see the same news and live by the same laws. After all, this is America, as we know, we are all created equal, right?
The America that I live in is much different than most of you. You live in an America that is allegedly "trying to be 'great again'". This means that you are free to think, do and be who you are...but that's not really the same place I am living. I live in an America that needs to be convinced that what I am going through is real before they will ever accept that I am fighting for them. It's an odd place to be from, but the "fence" seems to be the only thing that keeps us from understanding one another.
If you haven't ever seen the WWII movie called, "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas", I encourage you to come over to my side of the fence for just long enough to see why I am fighting for you even if you don't believe what I know is true, is true. If I could some how show you what life is like under the thumb of a serial rapist, perhaps you might have empathy for the next person that you run into with a story you don't believe. Maybe, if I could give you all a tour of what this is like and how painful it can be, you'd help me stop Lori and put an end to the illegal access of a military computer database.
The difference between whether or not, I can succeed where others have failed, is within the structure of showing you that I'm the same, it could easily happen to you and if that is the case, you should be able to understand more about the victims and what has happened to them. You see, once people understand how intrinsically wrong it is to know what someone else is thinking and cause damage intentionally based on that information. I've lived a life of "worst case scenarios" simply because I was appointed a life time antagonist in Lori LaFond. I should say that Lori appointed herself as my "family's antagonist", but she doesn't want any of you to find that out.
Actually I think that some movies transcend what is obvious to hit on more incredible themes that lie beneath. You know, in "The Boy in the Striped Pajamas", the boy inside the fence represents so many people and things, while the boy on the outside sees him as just another boy, with a barrier in between. The pajama boy could represent gay people, interned people, prisoners or just about anyone that looks like you, but is in a different place. The great thing about this movie was how well it demonstrates that two boys have more in common than what they think. If we all could find a person like us in other areas where we think we don't fit, maybe more of us could accept that differences make us interesting, commonalities make us human.
I've told all of you before that one of the reasons that Christopher is so significant to this project was the wide eyed inspiration that he came to Palm Springs with before Lori and Brian got to him. I think that when you look at what God sent me in Christopher was someone that can talk to people about what this is like despite having been through this for the shortest amount of time compared to most of us. Christopher's understanding of this situation is also tempered with the 9/11 terrorist attacks, in NYC. So there is both an edginess in both the commission of the crime and what the crime is made up of. For some people this crime may mean one thing, but to me it is something else.
Once the general public is made aware that this kind of surveillance is here and being used without the permission of the victims, then we have to show the kind of damage that can be done, in realistic terms. I think that when most people realize that it is a combination of police enforcement and Lori's creative lying, that they will see, "This could have happened to me...it wouldn't have been that hard." What I don't want this to be is "another homosexual crime". I want it to be a crime against Americans, black, white, Muslim, Jew, gay or straight...here, in this country, it is wrong.
Tonight I was reading an article about some transgendered women that were murdered in Jacksonville, Florida. First of all, there is an alarming rate of homicide in the transgendered community. These individuals are having trouble with the way these homicides are being investigated. Because the police refuse to treat these women as women, there is difficulty getting to the information that may pertain to the crime. The crime is murder, it shouldn't be ignorance. It is more sensational to write that a "man wearing women's clothing" was found murdered, even though this murder victim identified as a woman for many years. You can't make the assumption that this is a transvestite based on the information that this person was wearing a wig. Most people that live their lives as trans want to be identified as the gender correct person...a woman is a woman and a man is a man...depending on how they lived it.
I think that when I look at the situation here in Palm Springs, California, with the implanted targets, that we are experiencing the same kind of misunderstanding. I certainly do not want to be known forever as the "guy that got raped by a woman", but the truth is that very few men come forward in the first place...now, when they do, the police don't believe them. It is far more difficult, in this society, to come forward as the male victim of rape, because of roles. Doing so is a brave act for any rape victim, but by making me look incompetent, it sends a message to other gay men that are harassed, "Don't come forward or the police will libel you on television." Like I fucking care. Our police department is such a joke already within our community, I welcomed a chance for them to make themselves look stupid on television. And they did.
I don't want to be known as a "male rape victim", I want to be known as a "rape survivor". No gender, no sexuality, this was a crime of violence. There isn't anything sexual about what happened to me in that home, knocked unconscious. I want to be known as telling the truth, the way the Police Chief told me I was in the beginning.
I want to take a stand against sexual slavery and mental cruelty. I want to help restore the sanctity of life and death for the victims of this crime. From there, I can crawl back to my side of the fence and tell the boy in the striped pajamas that I understand and thank him for teaching me what it is like for him.
