Ever get that feeling that your drowning in a sea of bullshit. And the bullshit just keeps getting deeper and deeper all around you while you keep sinking....
Today I found out that my great car that got smashed in to got totaled so now I'm going to have to go looking for a replacement for a pretty great car that won't be nearly as awesome as the one that I just lost with less money than it was worth, of course. Then, of course, this is the last month of my disability because the police still haven't figured out that my smashed skull was the result of a rape that they bungled because someone that they trusted to help me refused to do so...so now I get to have Christmas with my family that gets to see me as the big loser again while my boyfriend lives with a millionaire that thinks its funny to teach me a lesson about patience after I found all of his stolen belongings and told him about his multi-million dollar unreleased movies being duped...unrewarded by the IPRC, of course (don't believe those FBI labels on movies by the way...copy the shit out of those movies...they won't do anything about it if you do...just joking, report it, YOU will probably get the rewards....I just have a maniac teaching me a lesson about being honest)
You know something? I've learned one very important thing about friends. They always think someone else should be a better friend than they should be. How do you decide which friend is suppose to be the one that saves you from the maniac bitch that is threatening to kill your family? Isn't it supposed to be your boyfriend that you love? What about your best friends that you saved? How about the millionaire's son? What about the two cops whose careers you could make famous throughout all of law enforcement and are close friends of your family aren't they likely choices? What about you sister's best friend? There is no end to the people that should be keeping me from drowning right now but they all seem to be looking to the millionaire asshole that has anchored both of my legs and stuffed a gag in my mouth for nearly nine years. What I can't understand is why in the world anyone would expect him to help me? He's an idiot. All he cares about is himself. His plan was to watch me die. Watch me go back to using drugs. Watch my family targeted for more of Laurie's hate. Now he's sitting and expecting me to help his girl Friday with a place to live and a secure group of people to work with while I struggle to find health insurance, a job, income and HIV meds...that's not high on my priority list, in fact, his girl Friday, isn't going to make my list at all. She's going to make an entirely different list all together when I start working for the U.S. Attorney, now that his plan to teach me a lesson has come to fruition. See what I learned Jeff, bitterness. That's a really bad lesson to learn.
You see everyone, I've tried really hard to over look all of the problems that have befallen me the last nine years while I worked my ass off at half assed jobs making ends meet for my friends and myself, being patient and kind to as many people as I could because I believe that to be my nature. All that got me was deeper and deeper into the belief that my friends would eventually help. That doesn't seem to be the case. Where are you friends? I need you to help NOW, not later. You are relying on a dictator that does not see me as a human being. He literally hates me more than Laurie, the woman that infected his own son with HIV. How that happened is Missy's fault. Why he hates me more than Laurie is 100% Missy's fault. It is completely unfounded and the result of a woman whom thinks the world revolves completely around her. I will now and forever blame Missy for what has resulted as a decade long stall to the justice that the victims of this crime should have had long long ago. I will never change my mind about this ever. Jeffrey could have changed my mind about this but he decided that it was better to have me suffer here with Laurie's constant threats and rage than to do something to help me and my family understand this situation. Those threats have now become the subject of what I will consider terrorist threats on behalf of Laurie LaTweek. Jeffrey's just been waiting for my insurance to run out to watch me suffer. That's all he's been doing.
I want the Palm Springs Police and the San Diego Police as well as all federal officials to take note of Bessie Smith and Missy as full accomplices to this crime of electronic harassment. Their complete compliance to this crime is a direct attempt to derail police investigations in both San Diego and Riverside Counties. Neither of these women should ever be considered witnesses of any kind of material. Their compliance with two of the main suspects in this case have cost my family so much more than they could ever benefit the government or State of California. I have suffered greatly at the hands of both of these women especially over the last nine years. There have been many opportunities for my family to have been offered much safer situation but not for the complete derailing of this investigation by both of these women. What they have done to the victims of this crime is punishable by law and should be considered along with the other criminals living with Laurie and Brian. There is no excuse great enough to put the innocent lives of my family in jeopardy the way these two women have.
If I am going to drown, these two women are going to be just as responsible for pushing me into the ocean as Laurie is. There was absolutely no reason for either to have been part of this investigation, neither has contributed anything that we didn't have before their arrival. Both have been detrimental to the safety of this investigation and neither has done anything to help me or my family. In fact, the opposite is true. Both kept me from being safe on numerous occasions. My life, in fact, is in greater danger because of their presence. Both have benefited financially by keeping this investigation going for as long as it has and neither wants it to end out of fear of prosecution.
My life has been reduced to nothing. My own boyfriend considers me less than he should because that is the rule that Jeffrey imposes. He won't let him contact me. He won't let him help me. He won't let him do anything that helps me or my family stay safe. That is obstructing and tampering with a police informant. It is illegal and it is wrong. He wanted me to suffer. I'm suffering...in front of my own best friends. In front of my boyfriend. In front of my boy friend's mother...how fucking much more humiliating can this asshole make this for me?
He either wants me to look like the biggest joke or he enjoys watching himself showing everyone I love that he can torture someone they love and get away with it. What's next...a live killing? Is that what you are willing to watch Christopher? Come on dude? Where is the fucking cavalry?
