I think that as this investigation and project continues, I've become more philosophical as time has progressed. I've given up, a long time ago, trying to make sense out of the actions of friends, family members and police in this situation...it turns out to be the kind of thinking that allows Laurie the opportunity to strike with her vicious language trying to get me angry at the past. Why get angry at the past? I can't go back there and fix it and it certainly is not something that I will repeat. I'm not going back to Palm Springs, California. Period.
I am also never going to use drugs again. I've made that decision a long time ago and it is, by far, the smartest way to keep Laurie out of my life and keep things moving forward. I have no desire to use drugs any longer anyway...I think I got that kind of behavior out of my system. I like being sober. I like people trusting me. I like being responsible. I like having a roof over my head. I love eating. These are things that weren't always going on while I was using drugs and avoiding Laurie.
The constant tattletale to my family by Laurie is so petty and small that it is almost funny to think that my sister and nieces ever bought it. Now, to their credit, they didn't all know it was Laurie texting them, but the size of her lies is ridiculous...everything from "eating the food in the fridge that wasn't mine" to "spying on them with the security cameras outside". All of which is untrue but hard to explain when the text message from one niece comes from the other niece's cell phone number.
The kind of tattling that Laurie did with my sister came directly from Laurie's understanding of how much my sister hated my brother in law's drug use. Laurie used the information she had about me...since college...to play on my own sister's fears. I was made to look like the world's worst drug addict. I don't know how that works when for 9 years I worked for the Justice Department 40 plus hours a week, worked out constantly and had few problems that my family ever heard of. Laurie would tell my sister that I had a crack pipe in my trailer and where to find it. Laurie would tell my sister that I had a 7UP dope safe and my sister found it. On and on. Constant tattling. The only thing my sister didn't know was that Laurie was using this surveillance to find this information out. I can just hear, "You know I'm almost always right in the past, right?" To me, that identifies whom was using this surveillance system and what she did with it. Can you just imagine some of the other things Laurie said to her? I want Jonathan Mendenhall to look some of these up for me.
My sister should have the opportunity to recall these things for herself too...I don't want her to feel like she did something horrible to me because of Laurie...she needs to know the truth.
