Happy Independence Day: I'll Be Scared To Death

Since his stunt at the U.S. District Court, I'm fairly certain that it's not safe to go outside this close to the Cunt of the Century's 50th Birthday...no, let's face it, I know it isn't safe!  You never venture outside when Laurie the Tweeker is on the rag or when she's having a birthday and right now she's about to turn a half a century old.  I'm sure all of the witches in her coven will be flying in on their broomsticks for this celebration.  The cauldron will be boiling with the blood of as many virgin boys as Missy Piss and David can find.   Junior will have his best panties on and you just know that Missy will be calling any police officer she can find to have my ass put in jail for sneezing the wrong direction.  For that matter Jeffrey would just love to have me thrown in prison for the next twenty years for something he and his wife could dream up too.  Not a good time to be me right now.

In a world where everyone is constantly trying to "keep Laurie happy", I'm like a virgin homosexual with his ass up in the air staked to the ground with a sign that says, "come rape me" on it, freshly painted by Jeffrey Katzenberg.  I can't breathe without this turning into something horrible.  I'm surprised that Bryan Anderson doesn't show up at my home just to force me over to Laurie's squat house; it's not like the PSPD hasn't done that to Christopher before.  (Not that he ever filed a complaint about it since Jeffrey advised him not to.)

What you are seeing now, in me, is the intimidation of a police informant, a rape victim, a shooting victim and a witness to many crimes.  I'm beaten down so much right now because of the constant barrage of the fugitives that have been released from the State of Arizona now for seven years by Missy and David, Jeffrey's former employees, that I feel like I can't go outside.  I don't feel safe.  I'm sleeping with a hand gun near my bed.  They've been at this home before with Jeffrey telling them that he wouldn't call the police; I call that permission, he says something else.

I've been trying all day long to fill out job applications that Laurie has been warning me that she won't let me have any chance of getting.  You see once Jeffrey has helped her keep me from getting one job, she sees this as "permission" to keep me from getting all jobs...."if Jeffrey can do it, so can I".  Thanks to him, I'll never be able to work in this area again.  He's such a fucking piece of garbage.  It's just like everything else...he wants my entire life to end.  I've told you all that Laurie "does not allow any of her victims to work"...I think I've been very clear about that, haven't I?  Now I am in the middle of this again.  I've had to rebuild my life so many times from Ground Zero that I'm fucking sick of it.  So are my parents.  The last time, I planned for it and saved $27,700 and Jeffrey stole it...so now, even though I planned for the starting over again, it didn't work because he stole my Plan B.

The reason I wrote this blog, from the beginning was so that victims could explain this crime to their parents so that their parents would no longer have to think that they were losers.  Unfortunately not one of my friends paid any of that back to me.  So my parents still think that this is all bullshit.  Thanks a lot guys.  You used me again.  You see the concept was, "I verify that this is what happened to you then you verify that this happened to me...one hand washes the other."  Where the fuck did you guys go?

Okay so I didn't pick the right people.  Obviously.  I don't quite understand this whole thing.  I do you a favor to explain why none of you could find and keep a job in Palm Springs and you...? Um....hello?  Is this thing on?  This wasn't just for you, silly boys.  I mean I was all for helping you out and everything, but there could be just a tiny bit of consideration while you just disappear, but instead it was just dead silence....not one single phone call.  Isn't that amazing?  Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Flatline.

You'll hear all kinds of excuses from all of them.  Jeffrey told me to play dead.  I didn't want to lie to you.  I didn't know what to say.  I was afraid Laurie would be mean to me.  Blah, blah, blah.  You know what the real thing is?  They found a way to use what I found for them and left me for dead.  It happens all the time.  I've seen it so many times in thirty years that I've become use to it.  So many friends have bailed on me I feel like a sinking ship in the middle of the ocean.  It's one of the reasons that I like to have lots of friends, so many bail.  I don't like to prefer one friend to another either, Laurie likes to find your favorites and go after them first.  Not having a favorite, is the smartest thing.  Treat them all the same.

Where I live now, I don't have a single friend.  She thinks the lady that helps clean my mom's home is like my best friend because I talk to her, but that's only because she's the only person I've spoken to in months.  I have no friends.  I can't.  I have nobody to talk to.  As time goes on, I have enemies that I don't know of because of Brian's drug dealing and Lauries lying.  So the army is growing in this small town that I don't know about.  Jeffrey wants me here to be harmed.  I've already experienced it at the casino, 7-11 and other places.  It's inevitable.  Laurie will use her drugs to find addicts to try to hurt me physically...Jeffrey will hold me here until one of them takes a shot at me.   You hold him, I'll hit him...it's Heisenberg.  You see, Jeffrey likes violence almost as much as Laurie does.  He wants a confrontation, he's already set up Laurie vs. me at a memorial service just for kicks...it won't happen again without police.  A warrant for a fugitive will be called in if I see her again.

My friends in San Diego would never believe what my life is like now.  They know someone that was very outgoing and happy.  What my life is like now is much different because of the sacrifices that I've had to make to investigate this crime.   I've been through so much pain and loss.  It's been nothing but disappointment for about fifteen years now.  Capped off with last week's big disappointment ala Jeffrey Katzenberg, I'm borderline suicidal/hyperdepressed.  There really is no hope for a future for me at 49 years old of finding a new lucrative career.  I'm a courtroom deputy by trade.  In this shit hole town, there isn't a need.  What I do best, Jeffrey destroyed.  What I do best, this shit hole desert doesn't do...THE LAW.  They don't do THE LAW here, the do something much different in this place.  They do INJUSTICE here, it's nothing like THE LAW.  I've never been so disoriented in my entire life.  This is a wasteland, nobody should ever live here.

What Laurie tells people about what happened in San Diego is a bald faced lie!  First of all if you read her "workplace violence restraining order" she says she doesn't know anything about me since high school, but I've heard from lots of people that she told that I was "fired for being on drugs".  That's so far from the truth that it isn't funny.  I resigned my job.  That's the truth.  They offered me a job after being shot and counseled and I resigned after the Clerk of Court told me he had "people following me everywhere" and I found that to be really scary considering that shooting and the break ins at my home.  Read my diaries.  Everyone knows that Laurie contacted my Clerk of Court then and now that I applied a second time, someone, probably Jeffrey and or Laurie, contacted the new one again.  It's a total sham.   I told nobody that I'd applied, so how did they even know.  I didn't put it on here.  It wasn't common knowledge.  It was only after the Clerk received the resume that I put it online...and even then you'd have to look to see where I applied.  It's a bullshit thing that the Clerk and Jeffrey did.  Now I won't be hired anywhere because of it.

Like I said, there is no hope any longer for me.  49 years old and I'm not going to be learning a new career.  So it's pretty much over.

Thanks and happy 4th of July.