Man, if there is anyone that I am identifying with these days, it's this beautiful person. Most of you have heard about the conservatorship woes of Britney Spears, but have you ever really thought what that must be like? She works her ass off, talent of a out of this universe level, and she's Britney Spears...universal good girl! I have had to do so much just like her just to be able to survive...I can't make mistakes or Lori will capitalize, it will cost me everything for the fourth time or so, and it will be blown way out of proportion with the addition of all the lies Lori can think up.
Seriously, I have to be more cautious than any person I know simply because not doing so could cost someone else or their families' their lives. I couldn't dream of being around my friends from high school after the stalking began because to do so would be to introduce them, their kids and their friends to Lori's private stalking unit. I had to make new friends and yes, even they were contacted by Lori. So then I began to stay away from everyone. Lori has this tendency to dream up friendships with my friends by using me as her bait. She lies and tells them bits and pieces of truth by listening in to my conversations but then throws in these whopping lies that make me look bad. She's obsessed with causing problems and if she can flash someone I know some titty and pussy in the meantime, she does that too.
Now the friends I choose are really decent people, they aren't the street urchins that Lori is usually around, so exposing herself at the front door while she is trying to defame me to someone I know isn't effective. Here she is, usually wasted on drugs, telling my friend not to be my friend any longer while masturbating with a hot dog or four. I don't know about you but anyone that would be doing something like that might not be able to convince me...in fact, I know she couldn't. Never is Lori fantasy life more on self display. She's meeting a friend of mine behind my back, she's masturbating, and she's bald faced lying to them. Nothing better in the universe than that for Lori besides raping a child or raping a gay man on film. That's her best fantasizing...and I know how sick that sounds.
Over the years, I've become accustomed to this behavior from her...I've even warned people about it. I just got so tired of this happening that I refuse to make new friends. I can't put their lives at risk knowing that they could easily be knocked out and infected/implanted. I'm too cautious and I would feel bad if this happened. Since Lori's been here her attempts to get closer to my sister to hurt her have been obvious. It doesn't help that Lori has Jeffrey Katzenberg, Bessie Smith and Missy Erickson all trying to make that happen. The lack of concern for my own sister has been excruciating and she's not like me, I'm suspicious about everyone but when it comes to my sister, I know what Lori is after...it's the same thing that she's been after for her entire life, my sister's misery.
My sister has never done anything to Lori, it's a perceived slight on Lori's part. Then again what isn't? Lori can make someone a problem in her life simply by looking at a picture and coming up with a story about the subject contained within. I'm not lying. Lori doesn't need someone to do something to her to want to kill them either...all they have to do is have a friendship with someone she already hates. Nobody should destroy Lori's mental picture and story that she creates in her mind, if they do, then they have unknowingly triggered her attention and rage. I'm totally serious about this, she convinces herself that what she dreams up is true and that it somehow involves Lori to the point of violence. Can you imagine a more dangerous predator? I can't. I've known for years and years how much she hated me, but at the beginning it was a complete mystery. I didn't know her. I obviously didn't do anything to her. Here she was, though, a little rage monster full of violence and hate, screaming at me like I'd known her since birth. Her familiarity with my person was shocking and it reminds me of Andrew Cunanan.
I can't believe that anyone would want to harm my sister or me after all of the horrible things that Lori has done, yet here they came ready to cause more damage. Missy Erickson, Bessie Smith and David ready to turn Jeffrey into another Never Kevin...and that's just what they did. He still is. Although he says that he no longer has any plans with Missy Erickson, the first one is still largely in place without anything positive coming from Jeffrey or his family. He's done nothing for his son. He's done nothing for the victims. He's done virtually nothing. What he did do, all affected me. He told my friends not to talk to me. He told them not to talk about Sedona. He talked to lifetime friends of mine and warned them not to talk to me. He took critical information from my rape case and forbid everyone from using it. He stole my bank account, abused my elderly mother and met with my sister behind my back. I am a clearly unacceptable person for helping his son. That's a question for him to answer.
So many people seem to think they know what's best for me...it's like Britney's conservatorship. Now I've worked probate court before and I know why these are set up but can you imagine what it's like to have to ask permission to change your own kitchen cabinets? I have to ask permission to access my own saving's account that Jeffrey stole and won't give back. As far as I know, no court appointed him to this position, he did. He also appointed himself in charge of where I will live and who I will live with. I already told you he won't let me talk to any of my friends or the co-informant. So I have literally a panel of parents making decisions about my horrible life and I get absolutely no say. No, I have to do exactly what they will allow and nothing more. I am not allowed to investigate my own rape case and I'm no longer allowed input on this investigation. Yeah, I know, I'm the one that started it in the first place. I did virtually all the work too. I'm supposed to let Lori scream and yell at me for 11 years since his fuck up in Sedona, Arizona and believe it's for the best.
I can't get anyone, including the FBI or the police, to stop him or discuss how he ended up with my money from my sister when the account didn't even bear her name and she didn't get my permission. He just took it, lied about the circumstances, and when he would give it back. That money was going to hire an attorney for me and Christopher so that we could expose this crime in Palm Springs. Oh yeah, I'm also not allowed to have an attorney...apparently none of the parents think that's a good idea either. Jeffrey hates attorneys, they always tell him he's wrong and cost him money. I'm a former Justice Department employee and I rather like attorneys, some of my friends are U.S. Attorneys, defense attorneys and all kinds of judges.
The attorney I was going to hire would get the crime lab's report and start asking questions of the police chief that buried the report and caused multiple problems with my rights. The attorney would be asking Bryan Anderson what he knew about this crime. The attorney would be looking into that restraining order situation at La Quinta and Lori's lies that went with it as well as Lori's trip to Sedona, stalking me as a police informant out of state. The attorney would be questioning the hospital about my MRI's being misdiagnosed and why I wasn't admitted with such horrible and obvious injuries. I'm not allowed to do that though...my life isn't worth Jeffrey's precious time. Apparently finding my own rapist isn't allowed.
When he stole that money, he diminished my life to unimportant and insignificant. His treatment of me and my sister since proves it. I want to remind all of you that it was his son that asked me for help, not the other way around. When I saw the similarities between his life and mine, I was reminded that nobody ever offered to help me, so I said yes. It was a mistake to help his son for one reason...Jeffrey. His son is bright and friendly, loyal and genius level, he's sensitive and caring, all things that I think I embody or did until Lori raped my life. I could have endured with this decision to help his son if Jeffrey was ambivalent, but Jeffrey took a side...the wrong side for me. Supporting friends of Lori LaFond is the same thing as supporting her and that's the rapist; his son's and mine. You can do a lot of things to me without making me mad but support my lifetime bully while pretending to be my friend won't be one of those.
The reasonable wisdom of the parents that have allowed this situation to continue is shady and questionable given that their own kids have suffered greatly at the mouth and hands of Lori LaFond. They've been infected with HIV, illegally jailed, imprisoned, exploited, robbed and tortured, but they don't have to be any longer because I told their parents the truth. Jeffrey couldn't stop me from doing that, so he did the next best thing, he told them not to help me even though I helped them. I did what I could for Jeffrey and Marilyn, found evidence, told them the truth and gave them the best advice...they were cold and ungrateful. It wasn't worth it. Clearly nothing I could do would be good enough for them.
Why are they like this? Some say it was Missy Erickson. Some say that Jeffrey is homophobic. I have lots of ideas but honestly, if I thought I was doing anything to make the parents of these victims mad, I've already considered it. I ask them for nothing because exploiting the victims is wrong and that's what Lori and Missy do. I wouldn't ever trust this man again, but you might...so be careful.
For me, very very unusual not to get along with my friends' parents. In fact, I think I get along with all of my friends' parents except one and that's Benjamin's father. I'm the person that almost all of my friends come to with a legal question...and I'm good at it. It's true that I didn't know who Benjamin's father was before or after he asked if I would help him, I don't think it should matter. To me it matters even less now. I've never met this man and he's involved himself in my life negatively so many times that I've lost count. Nullifying friends that I've had for over 35 years. Using my sister that I loved and trusted my whole life, now I can't trust her either. He's literally decided that my future will be what he decides it will be, and I don't think that's a positive thing. He's never even met me.
It reminds me of Lori. She's never known me but she decides that people should beat me up, fire me, have the wrong impression of me, and still has the nerve to go to court and say she's afraid of me for telling you what she really truthfully did. I thought truthfulness was keeping me sober but apparently I'm the exception to that rule too. Nothing good shall ever happen to me and he's going to make sure it doesn't. You'd think I was the person that raped his son, no, that was the person whose side he took. He didn't treat her that way, instead he bought her a home to live in rent free.
So yeah, I know a little bit what it's like for Britney except she's allowed to have a boyfriend that disagrees with her problems and the people that cause them. That has to be a good feeling. I wouldn't know. I'm barred from talking to Christopher. Jeffrey wouldn't like it. All the things that Lori always wanted but couldn't do herself, Jeffrey did for her. This isn't the first time either. The relationship before Christopher was a living nightmare; same thing, I cared about him and his well being and Lori and Missy wouldn't allow it. They tortured me for years while everyone on this system watched. Now I'm living another unreal relationship completely controlled by people other than us. I get no input. I get no say. I get nothing.
Trying to tear my family apart by lying to them is another thing that I've had to live with. My mom was abused for losing her memory but it was really just to get into her bank account with me. Jeffrey didn't care about her health, no, he just wanted into my saving's account. My sister, a person I've always trusted, can't be any longer. My father, instead of knowing the truth, still thinks his son is a brainless fuck up. Jeffrey is determined to make my promise to my brother in law not come true. I think that is deplorable. My dreams with Christopher, also, taken by another person to make happen. There really is no joy in my life, just people trying to destroy what's left. I can't imagine why that's so much fun for these parents...I've worked so hard on myself and my career. I tried to do the right thing by my brother in law for his kids, but that was taken away too. When I could help them, I did, but that wasn't allowed any longer by Jeffrey.
I'm punished for trying to solve my own rape. Up until I found those MRI's I wasn't even believed for having been raped, even though they all knew it was true. In other situations involving Jeffrey's friends, he required proof of the rape. I guess that changed. Now he requires something else. Lab reports, MRI's of smashed skulls, bogus crime lab reports, none of that matters to him. The only thing that matters is money...and I don't have any of that thanks to him. Whatever it is he's forcing me to believe, it isn't clear but one thing is clear, I better not fuck with him. He can get to my sister. He can hurt my mother. He's already proven that.
I've never seen anyone so loyal to a rapist in my life. He'll say he's not, but keeping her out of jail doesn't say that he's her enemy either. In fact, keeping Lori out of jail says he doesn't believe his own son or simply doesn't care. I've been like his son my whole life, I know what that feels like. It feels like you are different and not in a good way. You aren't your brother or sister, for them, it would be handled differently. No you are that kid, the one that's gay, you are in some way damaged and so are your friends. Benjamin lived a much better life than that. Most parents would be thrilled to have a son like him, like a gift from God, but not Jeffrey. He's just perfect to be daddy's little organizer and excuse maker for the rest of his life. With as unorganized and with as many problems as Jeffrey causes, that's an important position FOR JEFFREY, but what about what Benjamin wants? Why isn't that important?
I know, I'm the guy my family turns to when something needs to be done perfectly. When something needs looking into, I'm the person that gets the call. My friends all know that too. I care and that's a problem for Jeffrey. He simply doesn't like me or any of Benjamin's friends, we're not good enough for Jeff. I can't understand why? I've got all the credentials and I have a trust fund, it must just be because I like men. So does his son. He dislikes that so much that he has tried to hurt my own mother and sister. He tried to hurt my friends and their mothers too. What makes him so special that Jeffrey just can't stop keeping us from helping ourselves? If we do, we get punished. How else could a girl with no plan, be a better plan than mine?
I pray for Britney. It must suck to have achieved such a level of success only to realize that the fruits of her labor must be approved by someone else. Oh she can work as hard as she wants, but that money...that has to be watched over by someone that didn't work for it. Frustrating? I'm sure it is. Makes you not want to work at all. Why bother?
Here I was thinking I was helping people that Lori raped, robbed, and imprisoned illegally. I should be taken outside and shot.
