Lori's failed "friendship" with Missy Erickson has caused me to think of Rita Mae Brown's classic, "The Rubyfruit Jungle" where a girl is exploring her lesbian side in a story about the feminine mystique and learning about her feminine attraction to other women. The "rubyfruit" comes in as many shapes and sizes as there are women that have them...Lori simply saw the first one from the place where she thought they grew...latched on to it and tried to make it hers, not realizing that the rubyfruit picks you as much as you pick the rubyfruit.
Lori is still trying to understand her sexuality, but she was mused by what she thought was what she was looking for. As in most of the cases of same sex attraction, simply bearing the fruit doesn't mean that it is ripe for all who seek it. Alas this is the great story of the percentage of lesbian that Lori is willing to admit to and the percentage that Missy was willing to provide.
No matter what the girls' problems are with each other, mostly a difference in attraction, what we have seen with Missy and Lori is a constant need to protect the rubyfruit from one another. This is not the fruit for Lori, but she thinks it is.
At the same time, Missy has every right to deny Lori a taste of the forbidden fruit.
So Missy isn't willing to say that Lori and she had a "lesbian relationship", but Lori wants that just as badly as a taste of the forbidden Erickson fruit. Lori hates to think that her time under the shade of the rubyfruit tree didn't pan out is now desperately seeking some kind of sympathy from Missy for having spent so much time there.
Bottom line, there are plenty more rubies where that came from...perhaps it is time to have Lori move on to bigger things.
I am allergic to all rubyfruit...I don't even visit that jungle. I know because I decided that I needed to understand the search for the rubyfruit, but I don't know why Lori has rejected Lori's advancements in that direction. I am not surprised that Missy is now telling Lori, "We were never girlfriend." It is, afterall, Missy's right to seek her own rubyfruit, as a person.
So why am I talking about "The Rubyfruit Jungle" with two people that I am not at all involved with? Simple, their education in the Rubyfruit Jungle has greatly impacted my life and Christopher's. Their search for happiness, is exacerbated by my need to be free from the Rubyfruit Jungle of which I am not a part of. This impacts their relationship because of the choices that they have made. My relationship with Christopher is outside of the basis of their relationship with this drug. In order for me to be happy, I have to remove myself from the equation by exposing their relationship to the world. Now it is up to Missy to explain her situation with honesty...and Lori too.
I no more want to be a part of their life experience on their search for happiness. My own education taught me about the Rubyfruit Jungle and indeed I too made my search...in a different part of the jungle. My life somehow impacted theirs because of this system. Therefore it isn't about lesbianism or relationships, it's about power. I am taking back my power in my relationship with the person I love by leaving the Rubyfruit Jungle.
From now on it's Christopher and me.
