It kind of sounds freaky when Lori says stuff like this. It makes it seem like she is some kind of person that thinks we had or have some kind of relationship. We don't and never have. I think what Lori thinks of as a "relationship" between us isn't two way. There is definitely the part where she stalked me and I wasn't aware that it was her...so I guess that is part of what she thinks is so interesting. I've never had a relationship with Lori, not a friendship, not a casual acquaintance...it has always been one of her trying to control the situation.
I've already told you about the "Elm Street Kids", these were the seventh graders that were in a science class where Lori, an eighth grader, was trying her level best to seduce the teacher. More important was the way she acted towards the students when she was suppose to be a teacher's aide. It is in this situation where you see Lori's misunderstanding of power. She thought, back then, that we were all some sort of weaklings that she was "in charge of". That didn't last long. There were students in that class that reported her and a teacher that did the same. Lori began calling his home at night because she had a school district phone book that she still thinks is so impressive. I've seen hundreds of them. My father, his friends and my sister are all teachers so a phone book like that was right next to our phone growing up. To me, nothing important, but to Lori is was the way into a world that she fantasizes about.
Remember, in the seventh grade, my father was right in the middle of the molestation case that Lori had set up. He was acquitted, of course, but you can see clearly that it was at this age Lori was thinking of using sexuality as some kind of weapon. I didn't really have any sexuality at that age. I was too busy growing up without my dad being available and having to be mature. It was a lot of emotional baggage to carry at that age and it was then that Lori decided that beating me up would become her favorite pastime. I have friends that recall this too. I gave up my childhood to survive. It was the only way I knew how to live. Lori was trying to have everyone beat me up...it wasn't funny. I had way too much on my mind to have to deal with this she-bully.
There is no doubt that I suffer from psychological problems because of this torture, but, I do know that I'm writing about them to let you know what it is like. Much like my diaries, I have written about this experience before. I knew that I was being followed for many years before I was targeted for a drive by shooting. I am not a mental patient however. What I deal with is not crippling, it has forced me to be a smarter person. If you get shot at, infected with HIV intentionally, beat nearly to death and nobody does anything, it is important to recognize that something terrible has happened. For me to act like it was normal would be a lie.
I know that it is important for victims to understand that what they feel, the shame and anger, are normal under the circumstances. Dealing with those feelings can be difficult if you don't know how to release them. This project has helped me to get many of the issues out. Lori use to think that if she put enough pressure on me that I would say something like my "father molested me". LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR ON THIS...MY FATHER IS AN EXCELLENT HUMAN BEING. HE NEVER EVER LAID A HAND ON ME AND CERTAINLY NEVER MOLESTED ME. I LIVE WITH HIM NOW AND WE DON'T HAVE ANY ANIMOSITY TOWARDS EACH OTHER. No matter how horrible Lori got, I would never say that he hurt me. He didn't. If I ever said something that horrible I would be lying. My dad is a tough guy but super friendly. He would never molest a child, female or male. The court saw through the lies and he was acquitted.
I firmly believe that I live as normal a life as I can under these circumstances. It isn't fun and it isn't glamorous. Everything that I've ever worked for was stolen by Lori and her brother. They started when I was young and continued until now. What I have isn't important any longer to me. It's just stuff. What I want is peace. Seriously I just want peace. Now she will do everything to disrupt that.
My happiness and my sister's happiness seem to be the ONE THING that Lori wants to destroy the most. She's done a fairly good job with that. I don't think that I've ever warranted anything like that from her, but I don't really know or understand all the ramifications of what she has done to my sister. It makes me very angry to think that she now has friends that have met with her...it makes me even more angry that they would try to get involved with her after everything that Lori has done in the past. When I realize how horrible this investigation is for my family I wonder what she will try next. You have to understand too that my sister's home was broken in to many times before I moved back here. A group of family photos with blood red nail polish was sprayed all over the pictures. I know that to be a warning, my sister had no idea it was Lori's brother sending the message.
I don't want to pretend that it doesn't make me angry when she acts like I am her property, but I can assure you I'd be the last piece of property that Lori would ever want to own. I'm not quiet. I am not a drug addict in practice. I am not easily convinced. I am not afraid of her or her brother. I am not the kind of easily manipulated person that Lori likes to fuck with. You fight me, I'll fight back. That's how it has always been with me since high school when I decided not to give her hate any power. Now I realize that it would have been even better if I had. There are still grown ups that saw what she did, but there are still others that know Lori set my father up because she told them all about it. Lori likes to brag.
Now Lori does what she always does...she tries to assert control where she doesn't have any. Keeping me and Christopher apart isn't her decision. What he and I do, is our decision. He's doing what he does in New York but I'm here doing what I do best. I live here out of desperation. I wanted out long ago and saved lots of money to do so. Stealing it was a crime against a police informant but mostly what it was, was a message to me that no matter what I do, one or more of these operators will do anything to help Lori. It's a shit position to be in. I don't like the way they use my sister's past with Lori to effect a change now. Talking to her behind my back is something that really makes me think that something bad is going to happen. I don't like letting that situation exist without writing about it here. I think my sister is in danger. I think that what Lori has set up with her is a very interesting exchange.
Most people think that I could easily explain this crime to my parents and I've tried. They have read the books. They've heard me talk to them. They know that I believe that Lori LaFond was behind this. They know that I don't like her. They still don't know what she was like in high school and jr. high because I wasn't that kind of kid. I'd already seen my father on trial for something homosexually related, now I had this girl calling me one. I decided that my father had been through enough and my sister and mom too. Why bring another problem home? It was a bad decision.
As I grew up, I learned that wasn't the best way to deal with a situation like Lori. She's truly a monster when it comes to families and their gay sons. She's got some kind of sexual sadist mentality towards gay men. There is a lot of violent feelings that she has. She's been very vocal in the past about hating faggots. She's just a very hateful person on the inside.
All I really wanted was to save Christopher from this girl. I knew what she was like and I knew he was here alone. Lori has a way of obsessing on a person until they get sick and die. She's like that. If she gets it in her head that someone is "competition" for her, then she eliminates the competition. That's how she acts. Christopher and Lori don't reside on the same level for me. There is Christopher and then there is everyone else, then there is Lori. She's not someone that I would normally thing about anyway. She's a negative person, I avoid them. She hates being ignored. I was past Lori's hatred of gay men a long time ago. You grow up. You learn that you don't have to associate with people that hate you, unfortunately, Lori doesn't feel the same way.
Think about it. Would you move closer to someone you hated? Would you want to read their mind and find out that you were truly someone that the person didn't like? She knows I don't like her, yet that draws her toward me. I don't understand that kind of thinking. I'd do anything not to live here. Seriously, the farther away from her the better. Even now she talks about how her "network of evil" extends to anywhere I would go to get away from her. I've seen some things that will make you all think twice about the America we live in. There are people that followed me to New York and Hawaii. I know they did. I saw them. Lori's need to know every second of my life makes me wonder, "How can she tell everyone how much she hates me when all she wants to do is know everything about me?" I don't want to know anything about her, I can assure you that.
This made this investigation even weirder than normal. Would you want to investigate someone that you absolutely couldn't stand to be around? Not me. It's where the evidence led. It makes sense too. Lori did something horrible to my family and she had to make sure nobody ever found out. Personally, I'd rather work on any other crime than this one at this point. If I tried to ignore that it was Lori LaFond, she would be insulted. It's like she's become so obsessed with me knowing that she is the person that is doing this, that being caught doesn't matter to her. That's a scary proposition when the penalty won't stop your stalker. I'm worried about few things in this life, but I am worried about her explosiveness.
There really hasn't been enough effort made to stop Lori from selling or using copious amounts of drugs and getting on the microphone. It is illegal for her to be using drugs in a home that she is living in but does not own. I know that she uses drugs for favors because she's told people to hurt me for them. I don't feel comfortable here any longer. I know when she is up to something. This is an eerie feeling lately.
Also, I find Lori constantly trying to pit me against my friends. She wants to give them some kind of reason to hurt me. I'm not that guy either. They have all experienced the furor of her hatred before. They have lived in fear or caution because they know what she is like. There isn't anyone that hasn't had a "bad night with Lori". Every victim has had their fair share. I am not someone that doesn't realize that. I know that Christopher must have hated every single second in jail because he couldn't get away from her. Steven too. Lori is in need of constant companionship and support. If she doesn't get it, she gets violent.
The last person that I am going to be is her chummy pal from high school. I didn't like her then and I don't like her now. I refuse to strike up a friendship with her and won't let my friends do it either. She isn't to be trusted and she could explode at any second. It's time we all realize what we are dealing with here isn't normal...she's very violent and needs to be stopped.
My personal feelings about Lori aside, I worry for my community and what her presence has cost us. There is a distinct difference between what I personally feel about Lori and what I feel Lori has done to the LGBTQ community. My personal feelings don't amount to anything more than I can't understand where this attraction she has for me comes from? I have no idea. I never gave any kind of indication that I was ever friendly to her. I never had a conversation with her or anything like that. It's my life experiences that she loves to draw from because she doesn't have any of her own. One of the most trying circumstances is realizing what she tells people about me then denies ever saying it. I can't really fully comprehend where she is coming from. One thing is for certain, I don't want to be near her. I'd be much better off a half a world away.
Stealing people's photographs and making up stories seems odd to me. I guess if you don't really have a life, you make up friends. Lori is constantly trying to pretend that she is some celebrity that I like. I don't know why she goes to this place. Oh I'll play along for a while, but Lori has this need to be liked by me. I don't like her. There isn't any way possible that I could ever get what she has done out of my mind. I've lived with this horror for as long as I can remember. I really don't remember a time when she wasn't trying to hurt someone in my family. I don't think anyone in my family has ever tried to hurt her. She thinks that by writing about my experience with her that I've done something aggressive to stop her. This is the least amount of aggressive behavior that a person that was victimized could show. I have the right to tell my own story.
She's trying to stop me from doing that.
She's always tried to stop me from telling my story because it makes her look so bad. That's a problem of her own making. She wouldn't stay away from me. Think about what my sister would have gone through if both her husband and brother were shot and killed within two years. Can you imagine what Lori was trying to accomplish? That is a horrible person. I don't care who you are, see that for what it is. Killing someone as an icebreaker? Isn't that kind of fucked up? It shows you how much regard for my life that she has. It also shows you the lengths that she is going to try to get to my sister. Lori is a monster that hides in the shadows and waits to attack. You have to be ready for her.
If Lori really thinks that I am going to be used as some kind of weapon against my sister, then Lori is wrong. I refuse to get involved with this kind of girl shit. It's not important to me for Lori to have women to rape or grudges to fight or drug dealers to turn in. I don't live my life with that kind of hate and devotion to hurting someone else. That's just not who I am. Lori's world is tiny. Smaller than you could imagine. She lives with a group of five other people in her home and acts like the house is some kind of neighborhood. "I'm going to my brother's house," Lori says before she walks down the hallway to confront him. Most of the time she calls her brother, "her father" or Missy Pussy, "her mother." Clearly this bitch has lost her bananas. There isn't anything that I can do for her and I'm just trying to keep her from getting into some kind of altercation that keeps us from having her prosecuted. She needs a jail cell.
For Lori to bring Christopher into this is just another way for her to try to assert control. She has none in my life. I refuse to be a slave to a drug dealer. Her problems are her own. As for Christopher, I as always, wish him love and peace. He deserves his chance to stop Lori too. She did horrible things to him, just like she did to Steven Frey. Most people don't understand what it is like living in a world where Lori's phone calls amount to jail terms for the innocent. The problem is that they don't have the opportunity or means to stop this from happening. I have my own get out of jail free card but I'm not going to tell you what it is. I'm never afraid of Lori or her brother. She, I guess, is afraid of me. I don't mean to frighten her, she spies on me and sees me defending myself and feels like she could get caught. That's not my problem either.
You see you can't antagonize someone like she does to me with her constant yapping, then get all afraid when I do things to protect myself. She characterizes that as "violent"? I wouldn't touch her or have anyone go near her. I want people to stay away from her that I know. There isn't anything illegal about that now is there? There is nothing like Lori LaFond...I've seen and heard far more from her than I'd ever want to. Her talking to me on this system is not a conversation, it is an informant and a suspect (the prime suspect), her constant need to tell everyone what I am doing and what trouble she caused me only proves that she's Lisa.
How can a person that would like to avoid ever seeing her face again be guilty of harassing her? I don't want to see her. I don't want to talk to her. I don't want to say anything about her. The problem is that she won't stop bothering me AND my family. It's just like a rapist, "No," to Lori, "...is a challenge to her system." When I say "No" I mean "No". That's all there is to it.
