Survival Mode: Living Among The Freaks

Ah the wave of negativity and how it has set me adrift in the ocean of my nightmares.

There was a point in my story where I think I commented to Steven Frey that I felt this "wave of negativity" that was following me around that I didn't seem to be able to shake with optimism, harder work or self improvement.  No matter what I did or how well I did it, something would come along and destroy it.  It was like someone was doing this on purpose.  I couldn't describe the feeling, but I knew it was there.

I have a constant feeling of fear.  There is a reason to over think everything and I do it to distraction.  It starts with simple things like, "Did I lock my cardoor" or "don't leave your keys by the front door, they are too easy for Brian to steal".  Everything becomes a battle for control over my own life.  You can't make mistakes with Lori and Brian, they have way too many people helping them.  I am one person, not fifteen.  I can't think of everything all the time.  It's not the way a human being should have to live.  Animals do live this way and the ones that don't follow their own best thinking, end up eaten by something farther up the food chain.  It's exhausting just to get in to work.

I have so much that I have to remember before I leave my very safe home.  I must make sure I don't leave anything out that Lori wants to steal.  All I would have to do is leave and think that I forgot it and then Brian starts to plan on how to break into my home.  For example.  Lori wanted to steal my iPod for years and there was a Monster hoodie that I liked.  I went to the gym and worked out.  Wore my iPod and a brand new pair of Fila running shoes.  When I was done I went to my parent's home and we all went to dinner.  Of course, Lori's crackhead bunch of people realized that I'd worn all of these things and left them in my car.  I didn't think about Lori and Brian already having a key to the car, which was previously stolen.  I never saw my iPod, Monster hoodie or my brand new shoes ever again.  I think I may have worn them once.

You see, if I don't think of everything, then I lose everything.  It's a lot of work to keep people from telling me their passwords, cc numbers and all kinds of things.  It is easier to limit my exposure to other people.   I spend a lot of time alone.  I can't really concentrate on everything if someone comes along and keeps me occupied.  It's really not that easy.

Case in point.  I also saved, as most of you know, a bank account up to $27,700.  I didn't want anyone to know about it except my mom who I trust implicitly.   I made a point out of not knowing the bank account number, not knowing how much was put into the bank...one paycheck a month...and I did it with my mom only on the account with me.  Seems impenetrable?  Yes.  My bank doesn't issue second ATM cards, I know the bank manager and I told my mom on many occasions to put my money in the bank when she went.  The bank is loss insured so even if Lori managed to steal it, I would get it back.  I planned and saved for the time that I wouldn't have any money.  It was for me and Christopher.  Wouldn't you know it?  She stole that too or rather, her friends stole it for her.

Now, in order for them to steal it they had to set up a whole scenario.  They had to approach my sister to see if she would take the money out of the account but not tell me about it.  They had to have my mom mentally tested to prove that she couldn't handle the bank account.  They had to have used this very system to know where the bank was, whose names were and were not on the account and then they had to convince my sister to put her name on the account before she withdrew all of my money for Lori which was oddly given to Jeffrey...or not.  The whole scenario was played on my sister's complete ignorance and the information gained from this system.  Don't tell Lori you "Can't steal this."  She'll prove you wrong.  The problem is that you can't plan for deception and other people's ignorance.  Why would my sister take something that wasn't hers?  Who knows what lies David, Missy and Bessie told my sister...it had to have been a good one because the duo of my mom and sister completely denied that there was ever an account.  It's the most ridiculous thing of all.

The whole intent of this bank account was so that nobody, including myself, knew how much was in it.  The less that Lori knew the better.  I knew I was contributing to it every month and I knew it was a lot after six years of saving...living on $50 a week.  I didn't buy anything, I never took a dollar out of that account except two occasions, Las Vegas trip and the trip to Sedona.  In total, $1,200 out of an account that I didn't even have an ATM card for.  I put that much into that account every three months or so.

For Missy, Bessie, David and Jeffrey to come up with a plan to steal it or for Lori to have come up with the plan to steal it is strictly because of this system.  There isn't any way for anyone to have known I had this account other than my mom and me...so declaring her incompetent to handle this kind of money was a first priority.  It was months of testing and forcing my mom to take pills and in the end, nothing was wrong with her.  I saw her cry so many times during that period that it reminded me of my father's trial.  She hasn't been the same since either.  I know she knows that there was a bank account there, but someone put her up to lying to me.  "I swear to God I didn't steal your money Kevin," she cried....I've never heard that before in my life.  I'm still upset with my sister for putting her up to that.  It was wrong.

Whatever the lie is that Bessie, David and Missy told, it was a painful one.

How can three people sit and watch me plan for my own future and live on practically nothing working overnights then steal this money and act like I should be happy about it.  I'm not.  I'm furious at the intrusion.  I'm so mad at the three of them that I want their asses thrown in prison for it.  It was wrong.  Horribly wrong.  The way they set it up looks legal on paper, but the lies were nothing but extortion to me.  You see my sister may not feel extorted, but I am!!!  I have to hear, night after night, about how they were able to outsmart me?  That's not outsmarting someone it's stealing, it's elderly abuse and it is the worst thing I've ever heard of.  Bessie Smith says she's some kind of friend...that's not what a friend does.  Not to me.  Not to my sister and certainly not to my mom.  It's the equivalent of sending her to some kind of home.  I hate the three of them for it.  I will always hate them for it.  There isn't a Jeffrey solution in this world that will ever make my mom better again.

How can you plan for people to be this stupid and this conniving?  They would never have done that if they didn't know that I kept the account a secret from everyone.  They used that, then my sister told me there wasn't a bank account ever there.  How in the world did Missy, Bessie and David do that without knowing that I knew it was there?  It's the worst case so far of misuse of this system.  It wasn't allowed to be done this way with my permission and it certainly happened because of what these three people knew I thought.  I can't account for my sister's actions, but she sure isn't blaming herself. My mom is so fucked up she doesn't know.  Now I have a sister that has literally handed away my life savings and she doesn't thinks she's done anything wrong.  Nothing at all.  Why?

How would you like to live your life never looking at your own credit card or knowing your own PIN number?  How would you like to have to wear body cameras (3 at all times!) to make sure that if Lori makes up a lie about me at my work, that I have videotape that can prove she lied.  I have to do all that and I have to be a human being too.

What these people have done is lie to my family in person.  They aren't just sitting back and observing, now my own team is involved in the theft of my own bank account.  I have Lori's team, Jeffrey's team and me.  I have to fight two complete thieves in every situation.  Every single time that Jeffrey could have stopped something he didn't want to get involved.  Then when there was money involved to save my own ass, he jumped right in.  There is no feeling of safety here...it's cannibalism.  It's a complete stalking of my entire family all the time...day and night...no end in sight and now Jeffrey's stealing.  What the fuck am I suppose to do here?   Survival instincts.

I've literally been set adrift in a sea of freaks that think that manipulating a person and their interpersonal relationships with their own families is something fun.  They enjoy hurting people.  They enjoy the mental aspect of what this does to a person. I made this money very clear to Jeffrey's wife that it was earmarked for Christopher and me.  I said I would work at this shitty job for as long as I could and I did, but when the time came for me to live off of those savings...my car was in an accident, my money was stolen, I was moving out of a house we'd lived in for years and years...and now my own team was stealing from me.  Missy, Bessie and David are not my team, but they were living in a home owned by Jeffrey at the time.  They were in his son's home.  The level of apathy in Benjamin's home towards what his own father's employees did is astounding.  How can one team be working for me and in the same home another team is working for Jeffrey and Lori?  Where was the protection?  Where was his wife?  Where was Benjamin and everyone else demanding that Jeffrey either come clean or they leave?  Where was that? Where was someone putting their foot down and telling Jeffrey, you will turn these three in for stealing this money and you will do it immediately.

The reason it didn't happen is because they don't care.  What do they care if I go through another situation with this crime?  They don't give a fuck.  There is no way that everyone in that home thought that they should sit idle and do nothing.  That would make them criminals too.  Someone should have had the courage to say something.  When Jeffrey's home was robbed I called his office and told him who it was and what I knew so I'm not talking out of my ass here...I live it.

There isn't any accountability for what has transpired.  The did what they always do, blame the victim.  The very people that seek innocence based on their operator status out of need are blaming me for losing my own money.  How?  I don't have any recourse.  I could fight with my sister but she's been sworn to secrecy.  I could talk to my mom but that's only going to make her worse.  My father is useless.  So what do you say to a family that has lied to you because of this system that I've told them about for years now?  This is informant harassment and extortion.  That's what it is.  For being too good at this job? I have to be good at it or I'll die.  I've already been shot at and beaten to death and nobody's been accountable for that.  I must have shot at myself and broken my own skull.  The police diminished me and now Jeffrey is diminishing me. He became the story because of his need to control this situation but he wants nothing to do with it now.  It's because he went nuts.

Blaming the victim.

Always turning people against you that you love.  Lori did it with Christopher without him telling the truth too.  Steven Frey never told the truth either.  Why do these men lie?  Why can't one honest person step forward like Jonathan did when he told me Lori LaFond was Lisa?  What the fuck is wrong with you people.  This isn't a game.  This isn't the time to teach someone a lesson.  This was suppose to stop this from happening and all it did was create another terrorist cell.  All that exists in this ocean of despair is loneliness, thievery, deception and lies.  There is no camaraderie, no friendship, no loyalty, no legal following of permissions, nothing.  There's hate and love...and I'm a love island, but I keep running into Hurricane Jeffrey.  Over and over he wants more for himself than he is willing to do for other people!!!

Why isn't he mad at the girl that robbed his home more than he is trying to save Missy's life?   Why is Jeffrey more concerned with keeping me poor, hungry, isolated, alone and without any kind of emotional support.  Does he want me to use drugs again? Kill myself?  What is his solution and why is he demonstrating nothing like a father would do?  Is it all his money?  He had nothing to lose when he got here.  All he had to do was see this system and tear it down, but he didn't.  He listened to three of the worst supporters of Lori's hate of all, David, Missy and Bessie Smith.  But he's a CEO?  Is this the kind of judgment people invest a billion dollars in?  I wouldn't.  Is this the kind of character that investors look for?  I wouldn't.  In fact he's demonstrated more love and support for thieves than he has for the advocate that gave everything.  Literally, Lori stole everything I owned, now this.  Didn't Bessie Smith think of that before she defrauded and extorted my sister?  Nope.

You see, there wasn't any way for this to get worse then it did by a million times.  Now, all the things that Lori couldn't do, she has Jeffrey doing for her.   Now he'll tell you that he did it for Missy, David and Bessie because they have horror stories about Lori, but, that's not true either.   Not one of them has ever spent a night in jail.  Not one of them has ever been beaten nearly to death.  Not one of them has a dead brother in law.  Not one of them has the father that went to jail then a trial.  Not one of them has been shot at.  Not one of them lost a career that paid like mine did and that's the very tip of the iceberg.

Jeffrey learned one very important rule, blame Kevin for everything.   I think that's kind of fucked from a guy that got more than any parent ever did and wants my friends to "keep quiet" about what he did do to the three or four of us.  You see, he has no desire to stop this crime...he'd get in too much trouble.  Is that my fault?  I don't think so.  That's like robbing a bank and blaming the bank for not having good enough security...but the bank robbers were the security.  How do you make the leap from "don't help Kevin" to "steal everything you can from Kevin"?   How does a billionaire "break bad" in his 60's?  Is it the control over another person he seeks?  Is it the excitement of hurting someone that's nearly dead already?  What does he get out of this?

This spell that Missy, Bessie and David cast upon Jeffrey to turn him into this man that breaks laws and leaves criminals on the streets is an amazing transformation from the man that earned an Academy Award for Humanitarianism...I want that taken back too.  I think that what Jeffrey is, is a bigger form of Lori.  A monster in disguise.  A mean human being that forces people to say nice things about him or he won't let them work.  He's been described by Sacha Barron Cohen as "a dictator" in Hollywood.  Maybe it's time that someone overthrow the dictator...to save his own life.

Someone has to stand up to the bully.  I'm that guy too I guess.  I'm in my weathered sailboat with no food, no sails, no water and I'm drifting, but I have to do all the work still because everyone else got a free pass out of this Hell hole.  I did this job for Bryan Anderson, at his request, so far his advice got my brother in law killed and got me raped.  I did what I was told to do.  I didn't lie.  I'm the one that stood up for all of you, yet these operators are still robbing the victims and hurting their families.  The head of this IS Jeffrey.  He has the power to end all this bullshit but doesn't.  Won't.  Helps them get away with it.  That's what he's done.  Why?

You see Jeffrey wasn't asked here to pick a side.  He was asked here to keep his son safe.  There wasn't a choice to be made, but somehow he turned it into one.  The choice is obvious now.  It was the choice between helping me or helping Lori continue her criminal enterprise.  That was the simple choice he made up in his mind.  Then he infected the entire team with it and forced them to listen to Missy only...and that means Lori.  His need to follow drug addicts and drug dealers baffles me.  I thought he was some kind of sobriety guy...that's me.  He's not.   What he wants to do is break me, like Lori does.  He wants to continue to cause fights between me and Missy or him but he wants no responsibility for what he starts, just wants to observe the damage.  That's harassment of a police informant, so where the fuck is Bryan Anderson.  Don't think he'll be called because he's kind of a wobbler too.

Wobblers in the law are cases that could be charged one way or another depending upon the circumstances.  Sometimes they call them other things but basically they wobble.

I have to God damn many wobblers in my life.  Too many people that could go either way.  There isn't a true blue one that has any spine here.  This isn't something that I ever considered as an option.  I would never want to stalk someone.  I think they must be very lonely people.  I don't have the time or inclination to do that at home.  I have understood the voyeur part of this because I went through that phase too with other stuff.  I grew out of that too.  I'm not concerned with what other people do, but I am thrust into a position to be concerned now that my family is being used like rag dolls at a tea party.  How dare any of you come after us again?  You don't know what this girl has done...the reason Lori didn't steal this money was because I warned all of you on here that she would try.  So she had her friends do it.  That wasn't pointed out to Benjamin's father by Benjamin.  I know if my father was planning on stealing money from my best friend, I'd keep him from doing it.  My father is just as strong willed and gets just as angry...why isn't Benjamin a man yet?

When his father got here he was ready for battle, now he's afraid of a kitty cat.  Everything spooks him.  He must wince when his father walks by.  Like a dog afraid of being struck in the face by a hand that has hit him too many times.  Missy, David and Bessie groomed Jeffrey to become a terrorist.  They taught him how to hurt people without caring...but that instinct has to be there in the first place.  Nobody is going to convince me to rob an old lady and the tactics used were brutal.

Why shouldn't I be just as brutal to Missy's family and David's?  I don't think Jeffrey is going to argue that an eye for an eye isn't the way Jews believe.  Why shouldn't I call him out for stealing this money.  If I took it from him he'd have my head.  Yet, Lori stole hundreds of thousands of dollars from him and she's Scott free. She isn't worried about anything, she has Missy and David to protect her.  Jeffrey will do anything to help the two of them. So fuck all the victims, I guess.  650 worthless gay men as opposed to the ultra valuable Missy Pussy...that's as sarcastic as I can be.  If Jeffrey thought that extorting my sister with a lie then hammering me with it for the next two years isn't extortion, I can't imagine a more intentional infliction of emotional distress...it's aggravated.

I don't know why Jeffrey hates me.  At this point I don't know what to do other than call it the way I hear and see it for myself.  How many times can a person be robbed and him sit there and do nothing.  The keys they stole from my home could have been used to unlock my apartment and rape Christopher or Anthony when they stayed there.  They WERE used to steal my HIV and depression meds before Sedona.   This situation where his house got robbed and nobody called the police made Jeffrey furious, but when it came time for him to pay forward what he knew was wrong, he broke bad again.  Leaving my parent's home open for the theft of anything in any of our cars that was there...robbery without any connection.  What good is Benjamin?  What good is Martin?  What good are any of the people living with him that don't do anything but help Missy, David and Bessie please Lori?

I feel like the sharks are constantly circling me.  Jeffrey is waiting for a moment to pounce.  If he's not ready, Lori always is.  The amount of drugs being used in that home where Lori lives is astounding.  Six of Palm Springs finest drug whores (I say whore because all of them would do anything for money) all living in a home that some say Jeffrey is paying for.  Why?  I don't know if that is true.  There is a chance that the six of them are living off of the money they stole from the other police informants, the Nichol's family.  They had the Geragos Law Firm representing them.  I have nobody because they stole my money.  I can't do everything for all of you while you wait for the outcome...I'm dying here people.  Come on.

Tonight, as always, one of them has lied to the other and scraped Lori off on to me like some pile of dog shit that I stepped in.  They ALL DO IT!!!  Every one of these operators uses me to keep themselves safe.  This is why Jeffrey isolated me and used me like someone he could throw away.  My sister too.  This whole thing to "Save Missy Pussy" is costing my family everything so why shouldn't it cost hers everything.  David's family too.  Jeffrey's preference was to copy me.  He's copied everything I've done, but I already did it.  If I was Jonathan, Anthony, Barbara, Christopher and their families, I would be furious.  Your kids suffered when they shouldn't have all because Missy, Bessie and David wanted to re-live our investigation through Jeffrey's pocketbook.  I never asked him for a fucking dime but you'd think I was the one that stole his family's money.   I have news for them.  Missy's nose is still powdered with the drugs that were purchased with the money this gang stole from you...not me.  David is smoking your bank accounts as we speak.  Why in the world does Jeffrey blame me and if secrecy is what he was seeking, then why approach my sister and Kyle, my brother in law?

Someone likes to fuck with people and his family is too afraid to make him stop.

Ruling by fear.  It's a concept I don't know very well.  My family is very loving and close just not at all emotionally supportive.  It's fine when I have money, but when that was gone I became the loser of the family again.  I always end up here, but I'm still the one on the boat.  I don't get life preservers or a ship to save me.  I've been sailing in this broken ship for 35 years or so...and everyone keeps telling this hurricane, don't look at my ship, there's Kevin's.  Doom.  Always doom.

The unfortunate situation that Jeffrey now finds himself in is care taking Lori, Missy, Bessie, David, Brian, Leah and everyone else for the rest of his life because if any one of them gets in trouble, they'll squeal on him.  This bunch of freaks has always wanted a sugar daddy, and now they've found one.  He's going to take them on their word?  Their word isn't worth the meth Missy just sniffed up her nose.  There isn't one of them that's honest.  So from now on, he's either part of this criminal organization or he isn't.  Right now, it looks like he's there to stay.

The other problem that Jeffrey has it that the law is still, and will always be, on our side.  So every one of my team members that knows what he did also can turn him in.  A problem of his own making.  This isn't something I did, it's what he did to hurt me.  This is a double edged sword too because now they will use me again to stop him from hurting them...same thing.  I get used more than anyone on this planet and not one single person has ever done anything to help me.  Just Jonathan and now he's dead for as long as he wants to be.  It's all shit.

So naturally, Jeffrey blames me for fighting for myself...so once again he turns to Missy Pussy and starts it all over again.  This is like the billionth time too.

The one good thing that I see in all of this is that Jeffrey is now stuck with all these criminals and these drug addicts and he's got to keep each and every one of them from being arrested and charged.  Should one block fall, they all go down.  Lori's expensive and not real smart too.  The odds of this bunch of criminals keeping out of jail is difficult and I have the key for the big cheese to go to jail right now.  It's that full of lies restraining order and warrant for my arrest.  Oh that may look like one thing but I have her right where i want her.  If I get arrested I'm taking Lori and the Palm Springs police to trial on a misdemeanor warrant.  Since, on that application, Lori says, "I don't know any police officers other than Bryan", I'll call every single officer in that department to show she does.  Especially Officer Rae Fernandez.

So, as much as Jeffrey wants to hold this money in limbo so I can't go anywhere, I can send him to jail simply by putting Lori there.   Wouldn't it have been smarter to put her there himself with his home robbery and his son's rape?  I think so.  It was his choice...not mine.  He watched as she falsified a DNA report, stalked me to Arizona, made up this restraining order...he saw it all and did nothing.  Then his employees stole $30,000 from me, bad idea.

That's what Beyonce calls, "Lemonade".  Right Jeffrey?

Benjamin, Eagle Scout, just adopted like 8 or 9 criminals into his family for life.  Rather I should say, his father and mother adopted them.  Ripe for extortion now, he's just found all kinds of problems with these people.  All I wanted was my money back and all the lies cleared up.  I didn't want Jeffrey's money and I never asked him for it.  That's what his new children did.  I paid my extortion through my sister.  Like I said, whether she knows it or not, I'm being extorted.  That's why I'm not crying about everything that's happened.  I hold the very special key.  The one to Lori's jail cell and to the lies that Jeffrey's told.

It's simple to do this, but you have to suffer a ton to get here.  I don't know about all the damage this has caused me personally, emotionally, physically, but I do know that in the end, I'll have time to deal with that.  Right now, I'm just trying to catch a sea bird and eat it.

See Lori, it's not survival of the fittest, it's survival of the smartest.  I'm not worried, sorry 'bout it.  Thanks, Michael (aka Roxy, Alaska and Detox...my men)

Wig officially off and replaced with another wig!!!

Ro-laska-tox forever, bitches!!!