I think it is a shame to have to tell you this but it has been 10 years or so since I was "allowed to have sex". According to Lori, this isn't something that she "allows". Controlling a person's sex life is what Brian and Lori are all about. Ask someone that they've tortured. This should make Lori and Brian proud, but I am miserable. The continued policy of keeping Christopher away from me puts me in a unique position. Of course, I love him, but since I can't see him for ten years, I can't have sex with him or anyone else or Jeffrey and Marilyn will act like I don't love him enough. It's another form of control that I think is completely set up by Missy and Lori.
Once, I was sober for ten or so years and I got so bored with my life that I turned to drugs. Lori and Brian just "know this will happen again", but it won't. My life isn't any better with or without drugs. It's the same, but I don't get into as much trouble without them, so Lori dreams up other ways to try to control me sexually with things like warrants for my arrest and rumors about me. Trust me, I should know, there isn't any sex in my life. There isn't much life in my life either. To the other victims, I'm singing to the choir. They know this too and I sympathize. I know what your life has been like, but can you imagine someone holding your boyfriend hostage like this? It isn't something that most of us go through.
Christopher doesn't know what this is like for me. He watches what Lori and Brian do but there is no effort to stop them. It just goes on and on without any intervention from anyone. Frankly, the best years of my life were wasted waiting for Jeffrey to do something that he promised he would do but never did.
So while you keep yourself chaste for your boyfriend and relationship, nothing is getting done to put us back together again. It is the completeness of this mind fuck that I can't stand. It's been so long now and I don't even know where the fuck Christopher is. He won't talk. He won't communicate. He just, apparently, sits around and does nothing.
The only way that I'm going to have a life is to put Lori in jail for what she did with that restraining order by myself. I know that I have to do it. I know Jeffrey won't help. He never has.
If I want my life back I have to do it all by myself. Thanks a lot friends.
What happens now is out of my hands.
Jeffrey continues to hurt me mentally and emotionally without doing a damn thing but holding my friends hostage sexually and otherwise. This isn't any different than it was before only now it is ten times worse because of his involvement.
Jeffrey continues to hurt me mentally and emotionally without doing a damn thing but holding my friends hostage sexually and otherwise. This isn't any different than it was before only now it is ten times worse because of his involvement.
