Missing The Mark: How Rape And Civil Rights Get Confused At The PSPD

Have you ever stopped to wonder about what, in the universe, would make a man go to the police to tell them that he was raped?  There is no benefit to the man that reported it.  None.  (Ladies, I'm leaving you out of this one, for this post.)

For months, leading up to my rape, I wrote endlessly about someone threatening me and Steven Frey.  There are months and months of being harassed note in my diaries...so when, one night, I went to Steven's home and an act of violence was committed, how could I not know what had happened.  There was no benefit to me to accuse my friend, Steven.  The fact was that I went to his home, went to sleep and woke up with a crushed skull and raped.

Steven's home was not ever visited by drug addicts purchasing meth.   I shouldn't say never, I should say, not while I was there.  If something like this was going to happen, I would go outside.  I never watched him transact.  I always said, "The less I know, the less I'll have to testify to in court."  Why?  Simple, drug dealers get caught.  They do. This home was only one of two places where I felt safe.  I didn't realize how close Steven was living to Lori and that Lori's brother was the person that shot at me in San Diego.  I think that Steven did know this.   I think lots of people knew.

I, for the record, was not using drugs at the time.  That's why I went to sleep.  If I had, I would have been up all night.  I was going through a period of being stalked and harassed by Lori and Brian.  I was constantly being threatened by the pair.  I could hear them night and day trying to antagonize me while I was at Steven's home.  I guess I didn't realize that Steven was their "drug dealer" and that the pair were simply using this system to extort drugs from him.  Had I known that, I would have taught Steven how to be safe and keep them away.   He barricaded himself inside his home.  He built walls inside of this residence to double protect himself.  I helped him build them.

My approach would have been much different.

Yes, the "Fort Knox" approach was a natural reaction to what was happening to him.  He was being drugged and raped frequently in that home.

Building walls to keep "her" out, was essential.

So why then would I report a rape when it wasn't true?  I wouldn't.  Steven knows this is true too.  He saw me when I was freaking out about all the blood on my clothing the afternoon when he returned.  Being a victim of this in his own home too...I'm sure he noticed that I'd been victimized.  He'd already had his eyebrows shaved off of him before at his last apartment, so the warnings were already coming to him.

I also didn't think Steven to be capable of rape.  There wasn't a sexual nature to our relationship.  Why would he have to rape me, if sex wasn't anything that was an issue for the two of us.  I even told him that I didn't think he was capable of this, but since it happened at his home, I was going to report it to the police.  I gave him plenty of time to clear out and store his drug stuff if the police came. This was about waking up with the roof on fire, not something else.

Gay men do not all have rape fantasies.  I am not the person that likes this.  Lori tells the police that "they are all into this."  That comes from the rapist's mouth.  Not from the victim's.  "He wanted it!"  Isn't that what male rapists say to their female victims?  Isn't that what Lori has secretly told the police?  Let me be very clear on this...nobody has a fantasy about having their skull crushed in and a woman's refrigerated blood shoved inside of them anally.  No gay man in this universe is "into" that.

So many marks were missed in this bungled up piece of shit investigation...or was it an investigation?  To me, the police took a report, stuck it in a file and listened to Lori lie about it for years.  They assigned the case to a rookie detective.  They didn't do anything to put me in contact with a district attorney and, in fact, this detective told me that "unless there is DNA evidence" they wouldn't pursue any case with the district attorney and would not let me speak to one.  Does that sound like someone is fucking up?

Then came the picture in the mail on the postcard.  There is my face being punched out...and I take the card to the police.  (Complete silence from them...) They never mentioned a word.  Lori told them, the picture wasn't me.  Now, she's said before that she hadn't known a thing about me since high school.  This is twenty years later and she can tell by the picture it isn't me?  I looked at it for two seconds and knew for a fact that it was me.  Did she "know the photographers", talk to them about the model?  I can assure you this took place during the rape.  The look on my face isn't the look of a model, it's the look of someone that can't move and who is being assaulted.  It is that fear and anger that Lori loves to capture.

The police go on to the new and say, "Kevin Bond has mental issues." Um, I was beaten senseless and, by the way, if I had mental issues why am I not being compensated for my disability?  Wait a minute, isn't this the same police department that told me that I went to the hospital and reported a "car accident" at the Emergency Room?  Huh?  So what is it?  Am I making the broken skull up?  The female blood in my rectum?

I want to dispel a rumor too.  Gay men aren't all irresponsible about their health.  In many cases, we're obsessed with it.  Let's compare a woman to this situation.  A female may, if she is very diligent, go in for a PAP smear once, maybe twice a year.  I, at the time, was seeing my doctor once every three months...four times or more a year to make sure that I wasn't unhealthy.  I got all of my lab reports that show that I was very healthy and taking HIV meds at the time of this rape.  Afterwards, I have a report that shows the the lab suddenly detects tb exposure, Hep C exposure, (later syphilis)....so when I took these reports to the PSPD, did this raise any red flags?  Nope.  They acted like, "Oh well, he's gay and irresponsible."  That's the opposite of what I am.

So they must have believed, with the bloody clothing in evidence, that somehow, I had a "bad consensual sexual experience", but wait, if I didn't even know who it was with and the two suspects in the case were proven not to be the rapists, how then, is this case no longer something the police can look in to?  Both Steven and Peter said, they didn't know each other and that they didn't do anything...so all of a sudden, I did this to myself?  Huh?  This is how smart our Chief of Police is.  Once the case warrants investigation into "other gay guys" but when the suspects shift to Lori and Brian, it isn't worth their time?  Huh?

This police department missed the mark in so many ways because they didn't follow any kind of procedure set up for sexual assault victims.  In fact, they went out of their way to do everything differently.  They literally did nothing.  However, that detective, the cop that took the report, the chief of police are all still there.  All of them.  Cover up big time.

I am going to say this loud and clear.  Men don't report a rape unless something happened!  The interpretation of what happened may be different..but the sexual assault part of it isn't ever a lie.  Unless someone can explain to me why the police would go on the air and say something like this about any reported rape, I still think they are full of shit.  I'd love to hear the police chief say that "hearing voices" in your head isn't possible and that's what makes me "mentally issued".  I would love it.

You won't though because he knows what that will do to him...so why not investigate this rape like any other rape?  It's because the rapists are the ones that the police are afraid of, not the victim.  That is about to change.