My buddy, G-Eazy's girlfriend, Halsey is so amazing to listen to. She takes me far away from Lori's world and puts me in such a different frame of mind. Seeing Gerry happy the way he's always wanted to be, is an amazing inspiration for me. Behind the scenes you never know what is really happening with my supporters, celebrity and non, alike. I prefer neither over the other. I love the non-celebrity fans because of their ability to look at this situation through the eyes of a "normal" person and how shocking this would be.
Celebs have a different take. It is not so unbelievable for them. They've heard about these kinds of devices for years, but what has been done with them, that shocks em. Celebrities are also good because of the amount of people that will listen to them and believe them. It makes this crime easier.
Beside all of that, there is Halsey. If you haven't heard "100 Letters", then give it a listen. It takes me back to a time when I remember what it was like being a "simple stalking" victim. I knew people were following me, but I could still have relationships. Lori hadn't cut all of that off yet. I recall feelings and thoughts that weren't about this whole nightmare. Nowadays, it's better for me to think of things as an abnormal stalking victim that could make it all work, instead of what I've become, a stalking victim of violence that nobody believes.
It's really hard to go through life this way, but there is music and there is more happiness in solitude than you can think of. If she can't touch me, then she can't do her "favorite" things. Lori has always been someone that held me in her "back pocket" or so she thought, so that she could pull me out and torture me for "popularity" amongst the operator crowd of this crime. I'm like this person that represents "total control" to her. Jonathan use to be that way too. In some ways by former boyfriend Steven was this way for a long time too.
I can lose myself in a dream for a few hours when I sleep, but waking up isn't my favorite thing.
I want to thank Gerry and Ashley for reminding me about what was fun about being with Christopher. That feeling you get when you are with someone that you completely love. How nothing else really matters when that person is around. Lori hates that...because nobody feels that way about her. Everyone escapes Lori, I'm the only one that hasn't found an exit yet.
