Whenever Laurie needs to derail the focus or attention from herself on to something that I have moved past, she puts on her snorkel and mask and goes, what I call, "muff diving". I've already accepted that what happens with other people is for other people to deal with in the future. How they go about stepping on others is a matter for the court system. Whether or not what they've done is illegal is a matter for a judge. If someone dies in the meantime or suffers damages that results in criminal prison time, that's their problem. Don't try to shove that shit off on me. If you expect me to be sympathetic after you've tortured men and my family, I'm telling you that I won't be.
It's not going to be that kind of party.
I don't want anyone else to think that I'm so forgiving that you can walk all over me and think that I'll forgive you for helping anyone with any other investigation but mine and Jonathan's. This is a very personal experience that we have been through. If you take from what we have put together and commit a crime while doing it, do not expect that we will help you in the future. We can't afford to associate ourselves with illegal activity once we made our decision to do what we did. This isn't a game, it is a police investigation.
For Laurie to continue to try to "muff dive" us back into a situation of illegal activity involving other suspects that were given a chance to show a good faith effort that they were not intending to harm our investigation, is now over. The period for that to happen is a month and two days over due. This is no longer an option and isn't something that I think feels or looks like good faith. It isn't something that can be done with impunity and it isn't something that I feel can be done out of gratitude now. There is obviously no gratitude in silence. There is nothing more that can be gained from that relationship. There is a hole in my heart for having believed for so long that it was a decent relationship to pursue.
Now I have other priorities for the victims of this crime and none of them involve a man and a woman with a separate investigation for a main suspect in our case. I don't work with suspects, I investigate them and inform. I'm not in the business of suspect rehabilitation nor am I a fundraising unit for criminal defense. I am a victim and an informant of forty years of torture.
