There is something about that NEED the spotlight. There are those that HAVE TO HAVE it, like Missy. There are those that just KNOW THEY DESERVE IT, like Laurie. Then there are people like me, WHOM ARE THRUST INTO IT, whom never wanted to be; it finds them. If there is anyone out there that believes that I wanted to be the guy that went around telling people that I "heard voices in my head, got raped by a woman and had HIV", just so I could be in the spotlight, you need to have your head examined. This wasn't something that anyone, in their right mind, would choose. This chose me. I'm what they call, the Camera 3 Guy. The guy or girl, you can always put on the third camera, to get a shot that you can count on for something funny to happen.
I'm funny. It's who I am. I say funny things. I'm appropriate. I say appropriate things that are mine. I am there to support other people and I generally get along with everyone. I don't need the spotlight. I don't seek it out. I don't have to have it. When it's on me, I do my job and I entertain. When I do my job, I do it perfectly. I get paid for the job I do and I am essential to the success of the project. I am the Vivian Vance of this investigation, when I'm not having to be Lucy...I am the executive producer of this entire investigation. I have the right to call the shots. I do what I do for the victims of this crime. All of the victims. I don't do it for a select few. I don't have that luxury. Now that I have a new contract offer from another police department to do this work for them...I don't have to do this here. I am obligated to both departments and to the people in the counties for both of these departments. That is a satisfying offer. It is what I believe is the smartest thing and the most beneficial for the State of California.
The spotlight isn't something that has been earned by Missy. She struts around acting and telling everyone that Jeffrey is stalling this investigation "for her". This was done as recently as two days ago. That is what she said. That is what is called "obstructing justice". It is not legal. In nine years this girl did nothing to benefit the conclusion of this case with more information about this crime and Laurie than I ever had. She did nothing to benefit the arrest of Laurie. In favor of having Laurie rob my home and visit my residence, Missy decided that she would rather take from me than work on this project. Simply put, she gained financially from this system following me around and using my family as a shield of protection.
On the other hand, Laurie, craves the spotlight. She either wants to be celebrated among the thieves that commit this crime as some kind of underworld crime boss or by celebrities that would fund this kind of terrorism for their own financial gain. Stealing ideas for financial gain. (Magic Mike Live comes to mind...ah hem.) Laurie has always thought of herself as a star when she enters the room. Prettier than every other girl in the room...and if she isn't then she will rid the room of everyone until she is. The spotlight doesn't follow her...she runs to find it. She photobombs the camera and steals any opportunity to ruin the shot for anyone that isn't her.
I'm the reluctant star of this show. I've been him all my life. I've been the sight gag. I'm the prat fall. I'm the joke. I'm the fall guy. I'm Newman. I'm The Truman Show Live. I'm the guy that Laurie made into the machine. I'm the porn star. I'm the guy that you can "do this to". I'm the "reality star" of remote neural monitoring. I'm the poster child of look what you can do to the popular guy from high school. I've taken all the hits. I've rolled with all of the punches. I'm the good sport. I'm the one that took every heartbreaking turn and turned it into hope for my friends. That's me. I got attention because of my outlook. I survived because of GOD. I am luckier than luck should have made me. I am fortunate beyond words. Do I deserve more than I have? I have no idea what to answer to that question. I know one thing. I do deserve to be happy. I do deserve to be with my friends. I do deserve justice without Jeffrey hindering my progress. I deserve more than I've been getting. Nothing is guaranteed, I know that. I've worked harder than you could ever imagine. I've done the job. I want to help more people than Missy. I have more goals and ambition for more people in my community than she could ever come up with.
I don't need the spotlight, but it will find me. It always does. It finds me because God has always pointed it at me and said, be a good example for me, son. I do that willingly. That's what I do.
