I'm going to preface this blog post with this statement. There is a huge difference between responsibility and guilt. While I am certainly not guilty for the crime of electronic harassment or intentional infection of HIV or other STD's associated with it, I am responsible for something that I want to share tonight that is heavier than almost any burden associated with this project.
Without any fault of my own, I provided Laurie with something that I never thought would be her favorite thing. I often think about what would have happened if I had put a stop to Laurie's bullying in high school. Certainly it was blatant. Her hatred for my family and myself was tremendous and poorly misplaced. I had the means to stop her simply by telling school officials that she was attacking me all the time with sexual verbal assaults and physical violence. As a guy, we aren't really use to a girl causing these types of situations. Guys usually get bullied by guys and girls by girls. In my case I was being ambushed, usually from behind, by a little monster that would take every opportunity to call me a "flaming faggot" in front of whomever was around. Usually it was a crowd of people.
I was popular, athletic, strong, educated and way too kind to her obvious problems. My best friend's father was the principal and my dad was the school's physical education teacher. I could, easily, have had her thrown out of school for this. In this day and age of anti-bullying, this kind of behavior would get her prosecuted criminally and is considered a hate crime. I know I was way too easy on her. In fact, I didn't even tell my sister or parents about it. Laurie was a midget maniac that I avoided. Her mental problems were far beyond anything that my world knew and I'd already been through a terribly traumatic experience that Laurie wanted to capitalize on. Laurie love to capitalize on someone's pain.
As luck would have it, I was one of the first people that Laurie and Brian sought out and infected with HIV and implanted with an RFID device. The HIV virus that they used provided them with entertainment for the future. How one of them got the virus, I don't care. I don't feel sorry for either of them and, in hind sight, in a very odd way, nobody deserved to suffer more than Laurie. Laurie's homophobic attitudes and her hatred of gay men with HIV is an ironic twist for her to have to suffer through. Nobody deserved the HIV virus, but it sure did find a horrible host in one or both of these two. What they did with it, allegedly, is the stuff of horror movies.
I do believe that this is where many of the sick and horrifying games began for Laurie. Like I said, she hated me and my family for some reason. I don't care to know why. We never did anything to her or her family in any way. In fact, we've been friendly with almost all of her family from the beginning. Only she and her brother had this cold dark place in their souls for me and mine.
After high school and a year of college and many years of Laurie trying to physically hurt me, I allege that she and her brother implanted me and infected me. In 1987 this was a death sentence period. What I am most regretful about is what I call, "the moment". Certainly Laurie and Brian used this technology to listen and watch as my second year of college fell apart. I got horribly sick. This early strain of their HIV virus took longer in those days to get a hold of a person. Once it hit, I was down for three months. I dropped out of college, came home, and languished in bed for three months while my body withered. This must have given Laurie and Brian tremendous pleasure. They were watching a person they hated, die, because of them, allegedly.
I had no idea that I was HIV positive because I hadn't really participated in risky sex and I never used drugs with needles. Once the illness loosened up, my mom, dad and I went to San Bernardino to have me HIV tested. The tests in those days use to yield "false positives", but when I called the next week for my results, something in the nurse's voice that told me I'd have to come in for the diagnosis, sunk my heart below my feet. With my mom, dad and I headed to a friend's CIF semi final basketball game, I went in to the office. That's when "the moment" happened. The nurse said I was HIV positive, I broke down then asked for my mom. I told her with tears in my eyes. "Mom, I'm going to die." I told my dad. Their loving eyes for their son with all the promise in the world died. They still loved me, but they knew that I had the plague.
Laurie was watching and loving every single second of it. Can you believe it? This bully that had wanted to have me hurt for nothing had delivered a deadly blow. The deadliest in 1987. I've heard that she laughed while my parents cried. I do not feel sorry for her now. This, by the way, is NOT the worst thing she's ever done!
Her euphoric feeling of happiness at ruining my happy family after already surviving a harrowing and heartbreaking three years with my father's case, was another horrible blow. This is why I feel responsible to all of you. From this point forward, Laurie always looked forward to another victim finding out what "that moment" was like. She looked forward to it, allegedly. She reveled in her ability to control someone else's destiny. As you have read above, one woman, a mother, had to endure three "moments" in a row...one right after another. What kind of monster takes this much pride in her obvious sickness. Christopher and I pray for this mom like we do all of the others that have had to endure "the moment".
I don't mean to down play a father's heartache either, but a mom takes it harder in most cases. Dad's rally, moms are hurt. It is no secret that Laurie hates her own mother and I've been told hates mine too. She's never met my mom.
It is with great displeasure that I know that my "moment" was the catalyst for so many others that Laurie has enjoyed. I'm sorry I didn't know sooner.
You want to know what's worse though? Years went by and I didn't die. That was a miracle. I used drugs for years thinking that the end was coming, but it didn't. Then came the new drugs for HIV. Suddenly I became undetectable after many of my friends died. The Blue Widow virus, after twenty years, inside of both sibling had grown to more than ten infections long and the method of delivery went from a small injection to three dossers full of blood to make the death come sooner. The stronger the virus and the more delivered to the victim, the sooner Laurie could get to her "moment" with another gay man she hated, allegedly. Over the years she'd added another deadly component, Hepatitis C, to the deadly mix. If the HIV didn't kill you, then the Hep C would eat your liver until you couldn't take the HIV meds. A double dose of death. A second "moment" was born for Laurie. The moment that "those mother fuckers that wouldn't die" would find out they got something else that would kill them. Isn't she nice?
Once again science prevailed, Hep C is now curable if you know you have it. So now science has taken away both of Laurie's moments. So two things happened.
Laurie started hating the Desert AIDS project where gay men and women could get these medications for free if they followed the procedures and she brutally attacked me in Steven Frey's home, allegedly, because "he just won't die"!; allegedly. Isn't Laurie and amazing psychopath/sociopath? Gun shots, beatings, multiple infections and that kid from high school she hated so much "just won't die for her". From all the mom's that had that "moment", Laurie, FUCK YOU!!!
I'm trying to survive this horrible woman and her brother so that I get the final laugh. The final say. I want to spread hope to those that have none. Will you help me please. Someone has to end her "moments" peacefully and with the judicial system. No more moms and dads should have to have "the moment".
That's what I am responsible for: telling you. I was one of the first dominoes in the chain of things that "made Laurie happy" as sick as they were. I have to pull my domino out, tell you about it, to keep the others from falling.
