I want to preface all of this with...this is my understanding of this crime at this point in time...there are 5 or 6 hand written diaries that coincide with what I am telling you here...I haven't had access to any of them since 2008 when they were stolen. I am so confident with this being true that I don't even wonder about those entries. They will match up. They have to. It's the truth!!!
I try not to Boo Hoo Hoo too much on here and I could, but there are a lot of people out there that have it worse than I do. I always try to remind myself to be grateful for the thing that I do have instead of the things that afflict me with this whole project and crime. I'm what you call, a positive person with a hopeful outlook...Laurie just hates that.
One thing that really will strike people when they get the whole story of this crime and how it involved me is the utter misconception that I had much to do with it happening to me. A lot of electronic harassment victims feel this way, but in my situation I am constantly wondering what Oprah Winfrey is going to ask and how I am going to reply to the, "Why do you think that Laurie LaTweek did this to you" question?
Personally I think that Laurie is a very sexually deviant kind of person. What my life has been like and what she knew about played right into her wheelhouse of strangeness. I always feel like nobody would ever have wanted to go through the things I have since about the sixth grade up until now...and I'm 46 years old.
Laurie tells everyone that they don't know "her side of the story". Frankly, I do know her side of the story and it isn't very impressive. She acts like her lifelong revenge thing is something that she owed me and my family. Don't have any idea where she gets that from. She does have an incredible sense of entitlement and I think she wants a lot of credit for this story. True, she doesn't want it to sound the way that I say it, but I can only give you my perspective on her perspective to answer Oprah's question.
Oh, by the way, I do know that Oprah does occasionally read this blog thanks to my friends out there and I am constantly looking forward to her, "you've got to be kidding me look". There are a lot of Ah-ha moments in my life Ms. Winfrey, and I do attribute a lot of them to being a rather perceptive kind of people person. I try to keep an open mind when it comes to the "why me" feelings and have adopted the "why not me" attitude. Better me than someone else that couldn't handle the pressure, I suppose...besides, I love a priest...and when you love a priest you have to accept that God hands the right people the right or wrong circumstances as a way to teach others. I love to teach...I love God...I love to talk to Oprah and look forward to my answer. Whatever the heck that's going to be.
I am also looking forward to telling her the story of the night that Laurie and her friends used this technology to "pretend to be Oprah"...which is particularly amusing...no Gayle though; couldn't have been Oprah without some Gayle in there. Love my black women...always my favorite! (Wouldn't have minded some Nate Berkus either...I am gay afterall)
Back to my point. I think who I am, what I represent, what my destruction would have signified and the attention it would have gotten from the people that Laurie somewhat values has something to do with it. I'm a handsome guy..."Best Looking" in my senior class yearbook...(okay so some things have changed since high school...like having hair and stuff...lol) and I'm gay. Now when I knew Laurie, gay meant the "N" word for gays in "F" format...I know better than to even say it Oprah, but I'm sure she gets it. To a teenager that was pretty wholesome, that word was social death in high school...especially on my very first day. Throw in my father's court case of two and a half years...and the "F" word was utter social atomic bomb.
I think that Laurie's "thing for girls" and her promiscuity with boys culminated in that awkward, "I have to hide my sexuality by showing everyone that I'm not what I feel inside"...that happens. Gay men sleep with women. Lesbians sleep with men. Unfortunately straight men and women don't do the same thing...lol.
So even while she tried to make my like "sheer misery", what happened is what usually happens with someone like Laurie. She sees what she thinks is "perfection" and she plots to destroy it. I don't know those kinds of feelings because that's not who I am...I don't think most of us do. Sure we all experience jealousy at some point but Laurie's jealousy tends to lean towards violent confrontations and drama. I'm gay, but in no means a drama queen.
So here's Laurie High School, fighting her sexuality with men...I guess she thought they could fuck the lesbian out of her (sorry Oprah, I thought that was funny)...when we all know that doesn't work. In the meantime I'm friendly with all the girls and boys that she thinks are handsome or beautiful; including Kelly Brandon and my sister. Laurie usually like blondes...but will go brunette if the girl is pretty enough. To get to them...she had to destroy me for their attention...the obsession began.
So after her first year of high school lusting after the girls that liked me...she resented me. I couldn't help the one, she was my sister. The other, was just a terrific girl that I liked...we were friends, worked together in the summer and pretty much hung out with all the time. This would culminate in her opening day remarks to me about being a "flaming" "F" word day one my freshman year. Not a good way to make a first impression for her...or me.
As my concern for her disappeared...her observation of me grew and the more I was around the people that she liked, her sexual appetite grew, the more she confronted me...the more her hate grew and then came the stories in her head. Kevin wronged me. Kevin said something about me. Kevin slept with me. On and on and on....the truth was that I'd utterly forgotten about her. She wasn't on my radar even when she would plant herself right behind me for another attack.
Then she graduated...don't know how. I was a senior and for some reason this guy came up to me and started to provoke a fight. James Somebody. I didn't know him. Laurie was long gone. Just another problem that I thought didn't matter, but the confrontations became daily...class after class. This guy, whom I didn't know, wanted to hurt me. I would find out later that Laurie, graduated adult into society, was putting him up to it. I guess 18 doesn't mean mature...the nature of that relationship between James and Laurie is now something my team is looking in to. James was not 18...Laurie was...you do the statutory math.
What would make some girl hate me so much that even after she graduated she still wanted to hurt me? Oprah, I just don't know.
By 18 years old, senior in high school, Nate Berkus will tell you, I pretty much knew I was gay. I dated girls but even my senior year girlfriend was a beautiful lesbian that turned out to be the homecoming queen. We're still friends. A safe relationship that had no sexuality at all...maybe a kiss or two, but that was pretty much it. High school stuff. I still owe Nonie a debt of gratitude for being there for me...and I was there for her. Nobody could question us.
Then I went to college...and for one blissful year, Laurie was completely out of my life. The only year since 12 years old...til NOW. I wasn't a sexual kid...I didn't spend my college freshman year sleeping around with anyone. I joined a fraternity and came home to 29 Palms for the summer...and went to Palm Springs.
According to Jonathan Mendenhall it was on one trip to Palm Springs that I would run into the problem that would plague me for the next 28 years...Laurie...again. Only now she wasn't just hating the "F"'s, she was living amongst them!!! It was at this point she drugged me, assaulted me, apparently infected me with HIV and implanted me with a tracking device. This was all done unbeknownst to me.
I returned to college for my sophomore year and within weeks became violently ill. Run down. Sick. Something else happened too...someone was calling my fraternity brothers and telling them that I was gay...I was so sick that I had to drop out of school. I went home and would soon find out that my illness that wouldn't go away was HIV...in 1987, that meant I was going to die! Again, according to J.M., Laurie was listening in on the very day that I tested positive with my mom in the doctors office during the height of the AIDS crisis.
I slowly got better...very slowly. Returned to school, knowing I was going to die and thinking, "why go back to school, I'm going to die anyways" but my parents wouldn't allow it. Nobody, and I mean nobody, knew I was positive outside of my immediate family. I didn't want sex and wasn't going to have it. That's when I began getting followed...I thought it was the AIDS police. I began experimenting with drugs...afterall...you only get one life...mine was going to end...and I was going to party...not have sex, but party.
This all played into Laurie's game of destruction. She could see everything that I did...she even sent her brother down to steal and wreck my vehicle. I was getting followed, smoking pot, eventually meth...and I was scared to death. I refused to have sex, but I was gay...it was awful. I graduated from U.C. Riverside, estranged from my fraternity...with some great friends...but with no direction. I moved home again...meth addicted and without any idea of how to make my life work.
I never knew Laurie was watching me, but I was being followed...all the way home to 29 Palms. I sobered up and came up with a plan to move to San Diego and go to paralegalling school. The gang stalking started again. These people would follow me to class...follow me home...they were everywhere. The AIDS police were actually still following me. I smoked pot to ease the pain but stayed away from the meth...for a long time.
That's when I discovered that being gay meant more than sex. It mean friends that understood. San Diego is a great city for gays. Hillcrest and surrounding areas are so friendly and fun that I began to think..."well, I'm here, I'm still alive...let's see what I can do". I'm sure Laurie was getting minute by minute updates...
I started as a legal messenger. Worked my way up to the "court paperwork manager" for an attorney service and within three years and a year of Bill Clinton, was hired by the U.S. Department of Justice to work for the federal courts. Apparently Laurie's plan for my destruction wasn't working. I worked out constantly, got myself into terrific shape, was making great money and I was popular. I was also really good at my job. Laurie likes to tell people that I'm stupid or a bad worker. Simply not true.
I had a boyfriend for a long time, but sex was practically non existent and I regret not telling him that I was positive. I am positive of this...I could never have and did never infect him. Something that Laurie has tried to tell people that I did...not true. He isn't positive...and I would test against any blood sample anyone would put up. I know I never infected a single person...Why I didn't tell him is between him and myself, not for Laurie to call him and lie. She has done this. Once again...he isn't positive and it isn't an issue.
I met porn stars, models, executives, bar tenders, athletes, waiters, bar owners...rich men, very rich men and some really excellent role models. The gay community embraces success and I was a big one. I loved where I worked. Whom I worked with and whom I worked for...the only thing missing...the perfect boyfriend.
Then came the computer, adam4adam.com where I could meet HIV positive men without being ashamed. I started using meth because I was lonely...and the gang stalking turned into gang stalking on fucking steroids. No lie Oprah...I felt like I couldn't pass a person anywhere that wasn't watching me...the AIDS police was now the AIDS/Meth police... Apparently, Laurie, drama queen, loves to bring a guy down...I had no idea what she and her brother had done in Palm Springs...the situation there...out of hand. Many many infections and implantations and the implementation and addition of police officers to her remote neural system.
So as to the question why me? I think Laurie became obsessed with gay men, gay men's sex and HIV infection explanation of her own situation...and she thought I would be the perfect candidate to blame for whatever it is that she has flowing through her veins. Now Oprah...you know how offensive that is?
I get infected through no fault of my own...and the person, Jonathan told me infected me...is now trying to blame me for her own health problems??? What's worse, she sends her brother down to San Diego to spread the rumor that I actually did this to her...which made the gang stalkers furious with me...a total and complete lie told completely backwards. No wonder those people that stalked me hated me so much...they were being fed a pack of lies by a woman that wanted my life and resented every minute I spent in it. Trust me, living a dual life was not fun or glamorous, but to a woman like Laurie...it must have seemed like rock star.
Eventually I wanted help for my drug problem...and I got shot at while driving home one night while still employed by the U.S. Justice Dept. I was devastated...needed help, but for some reason, my boss, a gay man whom had had his own problems...became some kind of vigilante for the stalkers and told me, "I have people watching you everywhere"...another Laurie ploy with her brother to call my boss when I needed help after the shooting...to paint me into some kind of gangster drug addict. Not only was Laurie involving herself in my professional life...it was working...and it sent me back to Palm Springs.
The rest is what this story culminates in...arrests without convictions, drug rehab, sobriety, Christopher...and a new understanding of a crime that we now call electronic harassment...my job is to tell you what it's like...I hope this helps.
What I've left out are the calls that Laurie made to my sister, my friends, my girlfriend, my boyfriend...my work. The hundreds of times she involved herself in things that I thought about that she could manipulate...you see, if she couldn't end my life, she could sure as Hell ruin it...until now.
I guess my point that I am trying to make here is that if Laurie was trying to make everyone like she was to make herself feel better, I could never understand. She is everything I'm not. I could never take this disease and turn it into everyone else's problem...it was mine to own while everyone was dying. I never understood my infection...I'd had exactly one sexual experience and seriously doubted that it would have resulted in an infection...I blamed myself for years...now I know better. Am I mad? I don't really know...I'm a better person for having learned how to accept God's challenges for certain. Isn't that more important than doing what Laurie did to me..allegedly? I don't have regrets...just want a future without Laurie in it. Is that too much to pray for Christopher?
I love you Christopher...I love saying this...he's the best thing to happen to me in 46 years.
Lastly I thought to myself tonight about what I am afraid of...I'm definitely not afraid of dying...I guess I'm most afraid of not reaching my fullest potential. That was stolen from me...I had to let go of so much just to be able to grab on to something that would lead somewhere. I had to let go of what my dream was so I could dream bigger. I guess I am afraid of that dream with Christopher not coming true. That's way more scary than death. I want to live to make someone else as happy as I can...I choose Christopher because of his commitment to God and family. He gave me the strength to make this project...it is for him and his mom first...everyone else second. If that's selfish then so be it...it's honest. I want to make Christopher proud and happy.
One last thing...it would seem very odd to me that a person that has caused so much damage, once found out to be such a colorless person with such little merit, would ever try to pull the crap Laurie has with my family. I'm a firm believer in not trying to call attention to someone else's flaws when yours are so glaringly worse. For this woman to try to say she's investigating my father for improprieties that she knows nothing about from thirty years ago when she has her own...ah hem...problems with minors and statutes...allegedly...it another attempt at deflecting attention to someone else. When one isn't pretty, one shouldn't sit on the front porch calling her neighbor ugly...and that's putting it mildly.
