I don't like this whole money thing. It makes me feel too much like a victim of something. I can whine and cry about it all I want and then I feel like it is just so much self pity. I don't like feeling like some kind of cry baby, but damn it someone did something horribly wrong to me and made me look bad. It's out there. It's in the universe and it couldn't have happened without someone knowing what to do and what I wanted to do with it. It's maddening how simple this would be to finish this case.
Officially I am over feeling bad and depressed.
Now I am ready to fight back! I am ready to forgive my sister, if that is who I have to forgive. I am ready to surrender to the bad feelings and start feeling better about the situation and fight back at Laurie for what she has been causing. When you look at this situation it is all, once again, miscommunication and spin. I won't allow this freaky girl to come into my life and destroy who I am again. This is what she is like. I have dealt with her for so long that now I have to be the most reasonable in my approach to taking this system apart. Now I have to deal with things that I have in front of me without the resources I built up. So that means I have to find them.
I will do that my own way again.
This problem with Laurie will only continue if I allow her to be this person in my life. I don't think that is going to happen. My life is still better than hers. It is never going to be the thing she wants to make it in to.
