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There is an aspect of this crime that has only helped to perpetuate it. So many people know that Lori Jean LaFond, as "Jessica", destroyed Palm Springs in a way that only a true psychopath could. I learned about it in San Diego, and I'd already been a victim of hers for over a decade and a half. The problems she caused ranged from emotional distress to physical distress. What most people don't get is that the isolation that is necessary to keep people safe is the same isolation that drives people to hurt themselves, mentally and physically. This is what Lori LaFond craves and sought her whole life to cause, yet no other victim is talking about it.
I can remember Jonathan sitting in his condo, mostly isolated from the outside world because he knew what the outside meant for someone like him. Hell, his own boyfriend didn't even come downstairs to meet me until twenty-plus years had passed and he finally wanted to say, "Hi!" This is the kind of thing that really pisses me off about the way that I was handled by my own team. I've learned to forgive everyone, knowing that the freedom of not being around Lori LaFond is exhilarating and confidence-building. I want to remind all of you that Lori has sought to isolate me since I was about 9 years old. Sometimes I did, but the rest of the time, I would drive to Los Angeles or somewhere else where I could be myself for a night. Now it's all back again...and it isn't getting finished.
The desire to stop her from killing any more of my friends became of greater importance to me than going out and having fun. I had to save lives; I couldn't ignore what she was doing any longer. Someone had to step up in a big way. Bigger than before. I made that choice willingly and knowing that I could stop her. I did just that.
It's not feeling unappreciated that bothers me, that I understand. It's the constant distaste of having to hear this monster crying out about how hard this is for her because it is everything she wanted. Do you know how many times the things that were "everything she wanted" have turned out to be a horrible mistake for many? It's her calling card. It's her mantra. She experiments on families like they are lab rats, and I'm still stuck in research Hell, trying to do a job that is much better suited for someone living in an urban area with better lawyers, better prosecutors, and much better friends.
My best friend doesn't even live far from me, and I can't go and talk to him about any of this. If I do, he will become a target for Lori's hate. His wife will become a target for Lori's already bad acts towards her whole family. I can't go anywhere or do anything because it is too dangerous for other people. Steven Frey used to call it being "toxic," and I never understood why. Now I know all too well that this is exactly what he was talking about. I'm not toxic, she is. The absence of any positive signs showing the work is getting done shows me that this sacrifice is worthless, but it isn't. Lori isn't throwing innocent gay men in jail after raping and infecting them, though she sure would like to. What I'm doing, keeping her occupied,d should allow more and better work to be done elsewhere. Without someone like me out there doing it, this whole project would be worthless. There has to be someone who cares about their own family enough to put her in jail.
I've learned not to blame people. It's not productive, and Lori uses it as a weapon so she can say that I'm not friendly. Do you know how that feels for a person who sacrificed his whole 40's and 50's for other people? I did this for you. I did it because she used me as a person who knew her and didn't like her. I did it because she has been my family's bully for as long as I can remember. I'll be far too old to enjoy my life by the time this project is done because nobody did the correct thing and put her in jail. It is the sacrifice of a lifetime, so your kids don't live in a world where this happens, and nobody knows about it. It's cost me everything. It's only worth it if she gets what she has coming to her. Even then, I missed out on lots of life that would have been worth living. I make that sacrifice for God.
I think it is funny how people like to think that Lori is full of hot air. Hot air did not infect 8-year-old boys. Hot air didn't give so many people AIDS that they built a clinic like the one we have to treat all the patients she created with a needle. Hot air didn't break my skull into a million little pieces. Hot air didn't kill my brother-in-law, nor did it put my father in jail until he was fully acquitted. If Lori had been properly disposed of, none of this would have happened. Because people don't care enough when she isn't harassing them is a huge problem.
I find it very hard to believe that there isn't someone out there who knows she is behind this who doesn't see the benefit of stopping her while we still can. She will kill again. She has to. It's in her blood. My sacrifice was to stop this. Now I can't believe anything she says or does will ever stop because nobody thought about my mental health. I have to do that on my own. I can't talk to a therapist about something I can't show them is happening. How is this something that good people can't expose?
I just wanted to let you know that a lifetime of stalking is just another way of saying a "long, slow homicide". The attempts have been made. It's a fact. I didn't break my own skull. I didn't shoot at myself. This was Lori's way of controlling me because I wouldn't be controlled. She goes to extremes to try to kill me, and nobody seems to think that is important. She followed me on my last vacation that was a full 16 years ago. She tried to burn the home I live in down to the ground with me in it. What is being done to stop her for good?
If Lori thinks I'm going to sacrifice this much of my life without her paying the price for it, she has another problem. I will never stop telling people about her lies and crimes. Is there anyone who will help me with this?
I have to mend my own mind from now on. There is comfort in knowing that what I did was for other people. Any other way would have been too much for me to bear.
I think that it is really sad to think that my own friends mind fucked me just like Lori LaFond did. I'm pretty sure they wouldn't have liked it if I'd done this to them. Then again, they know I wouldn't have.
