Love isn't just about two people. It's about people that you meet that you can identify with and share thoughts and feelings about the future. I thought that, as a friend, I was good at being valuable to my friends. I thought that I lived a miserable life but I could help my friends out of this nasty crime by being there for them. Talking to them. Feeding them. Providing them with shelter from the craziness that was Palm Springs, California. We had to huddle together to survive. What I found out was those friendships were only temporary and valueless. My friends could be bought. They could actually be told to stop being my friends and they did. A complete stranger told my friends to stop being my friends...and they stopped. Cold.
I started this project as a way to communicate with the parents of my so-called friends so that they could be supported by their families and love could grow. It didn't. It died. Oh, the parents got the message. Their child was raped and implanted with a brain-computer interface chip and that chip was a huge problem. It would explain their problems with the police. It would explain away those calls on the phone from Lori that were always asking for money. It would explain to their parents why their good kid was experiencing the worst of what the world could show and never the best. They got the information and it did what it was supposed to do for them. Unfortunately, that was all it did. My friends got their families back then they disappeared for good. They weren't grateful or thankful or appreciative, nope, they were selfish.
They never once reached out to say thank you or even hello. They ignored my efforts to save lives and took the knowledge of where this came from and who was behind it like yesterday's newspaper. They got the news and threw the paper out the next day. My value to my friends was limited to what I could do for them. It never dawned on them that I needed help too. If it did, it never came. My friends set me adrift on a raft of loneliness in a sea of monsters to die and be forgotten.
The work I put into rebuilding my life was all mine. I had to do it with seven or eight of the worst remote neural monitoring operators taking everything they could from me. When I got back from Sedona, Arizona in 2010, my usefulness had worn off and I was discarded like trash. One man made me useless with his promises and lies. Selling snake oil or selling used cars Jeffrey told my friends everything would be better if they just left me alone for a year. I don't know if any of you caught it, but that was so pointless. It ruined everything I'd worked for trying to help innocent men that were jailed simply because they got in the way.
This project has lost its importance because one man said it wasn't important. There was a better idea, he just didn't know what it was. At the end there really wasn't a better idea, it was just inconvenient that my project emphasized a crime committed by Jeffrey's own wife and kid, so it couldn't exist. Throwing away witnesses and burying them in the forest so deep that I would never find them again. I stopped looking. They didn't want to be found. They still don't.
What I tried to do was help. It was a waste of time.
In the end, my friends' parents designated my person as Jeffrey's property; for him to do whatever he wanted. They didn't ask, they assigned and then dropped me for good. There couldn't have been a worse scenario for me. This was something that I had no choice in. He demanded my life and they gave it to him. I would never have agreed to this. This was my investigation into this crime and they turned my entire life over to a madman with no idea what my life was like with this crime in it. He ignored me to death while he diminished my life to nothing. I mean nothing now. What was once my responsibility and job for the police became unimportant and trite. I was now a joke again. The rape victim that did everything right for others, could do no right for himself. I should never have believed that my earnest hard work would be too much for my own friends' lives. I was honest with them and they lied to me as often as they could. My friendships were a one-way street...I gave and gave, and they took and took. When someone else could do them more good than me, they no longer needed me and I became obsolete.
The thing is that they took with them the evidence of the crime committed against me. The brutal rape and gay bashing that will haunt me for the rest of my life, I would have to do all by myself. It was the ultimate "fuck you" to my miserable life. They abandoned me to the monsters that ruined Palm Springs. It's been almost 15 years and I haven't heard from any of them for at least 13. If that isn't a "fuck you" then what was it? They watched Lori and her gang of thieves partner up with Jeffrey Katzenberg and his team to ruin whatever they could for me.
What was once a team that supported each other on this quest to stop this crime for everyone, stopped well short of that goal. It was good enough to just help them and they vanished, rather they were ordered to stay away from me for good. I would have told Jeffrey to suck my dick, but they agreed without a second thought to what I would have to live with for the rest of my life. Are friends that would agree to something this exclusionary still friend? Nope. What kind of a man would let another man tell him that you have to do what I say or else he won't help Kevin's family. I have news for them, he never once intended to help me in any way. Mind you, I didn't ever ask Jeffrey for anything. I needed nothing from him; this was voluntary on Jeffrey's part. I would never have asked anyone to sacrifice their friendships for silence unless I was up to something...it's so outrageous and pain-causing. It was intentional so that Jeffrey could cover up what his wife and son failed to do to ensure the safety of two little boys that were raped in Arizona. These boys were sacrificed so that Marilyn and Benjamin could escape being charged with negligence. Never ask a Katzenberg for help, you won't get any.
What could have been an easy prosecution of Lori and Brian LaFond for breaking Lori's restraining order against me? My own two friends were once witnesses to the two boys that were raped in Arizona and that Lori was stalking me out of state. Lori would have easily been convicted, Jeffrey had to get rid of them so I couldn't have her arrested, so he struck a deal with Jonathan Mendenhall to make him and Anthony disappear from my life. It's illegal and it is called obstruction. Jonathan then talked Christopher and Anthony into it and the rest is history. A year came and went and nothing. Another year, nothing. Fifteen years later, there is no chance that our friendships are the same. They are gone whitewashed away by the Katzenberg emotional extortion machine and forgotten like some bad memory from a dream. My friendship meant nothing and that is clear.
The last thing is the most disappointing. Christopher didn't just disappear, he vanished into thin air forever. It would seem that there are prices to be paid for silence and exclusion of evidence; Christopher's home was the gift, and the price was my love. You see Jonathan took the person I loved away without a single word and just like Lori, there is only one small price; his friendship with me. Christopher isn't allowed to contact me in any way for a home; quid pro quo. It was a choice between a boyfriend or a home for himself only; he took the home and left the boyfriend to die. Never have I felt so unwanted for doing something that was meant to be purely good. I clearly shouldn't have helped him out because I didn't mean anything to him once he was Mendenhalled out of my life. Jonathan finally took someone out of my life that I loved and it's so long after now that I doubt that it would be a friendship anyways. Christopher's mother, who I once thought would be a good person to know, hasn't even said thank you or anything. She completely forgot about my contributions now that she got a home for a bribe too. It was the whole reason I wrote this blog and she didn't even bother to say thanks. She just treated me like garbage. She used me and then discarded me like her son. I am embarrassed that I went to such lengths. It wasn't worth the time I spent on it, I ended up losing everything anyway. It cost me a fortune to save Christopher's life and I never saw him again. I never will.
Literally, I did all the work on this case for nothing. In the end, Jeffrey decided to help the criminals only. He lied to everyone he could and mentally abused me by stealing my money from my mom. He held Christopher over my head like some sort of invisible prize because he wasn't ever there for me in the first place. Jeffrey acted like a village idiot so that he could take every single emotional punch at me that he could. He never missed. He just destroyed my self-esteem, my worth, my family's trust and ended my life along with my love.
What I want everyone to remember from this experience is that Jeffrey Katzenberg is a member of GLSEN, a gay-straight alliance against bullying and he is one of the worst bullies that I've ever heard of against the LGBTQ+ community. For him to hand out awards to celebrities at some show and then go home to torture me just shows that he has two very distinct sides. He is a hypocrite that has two lives. The one that makes him look like an ally, then the other one that loves to torture and abuse me at home. He ignored me to death when it was important and he set Lori loose on me for months at a time without a break. He just couldn't bring himself to stop abusing me even after my friendships were ruined to his satisfaction. I am a frazzle of the man I used to be after years and years of targeted microwaving without Lori having anyone else to pick on. I took the brunt of her violent outrage night after night while everyone else relaxed and watched. I can't respect myself knowing that Christopher watched Lori torture me without him doing anything to stop it. I couldn't do that to someone I loved. I certainly couldn't watch someone I loved get tortured because Jeffrey said so, but that is exactly what he did. That's how I know he doesn't love me and if I tricked myself into believing he did, I would have no respect for myself. That shows the problem ahead. I am not a toy or a whipping slave. You don't just get to beat on me for your pleasure when you have a bad day.
15 years is the end point for me. I can't love someone that can't make an effort for that long. He made none. His mom and sister made none. They are the biggest disappointments in my investigation and two of the worst regrets of my life. I would never have done this without talking to them and promising them that I would keep an eye out for Christopher while he was here. I went above and beyond and got not one single email or phone call.
