I have always been a sensitive person to other people's needs. I am also a person that has learned a lot from his past and grown from my experiences. When I write, I try to tell you about what this is like for me and my friends. I try to present evidence and show you the real side of this crime of electronic harassment.
Just before work tonight, Lori told me that she was going to make me "disappear". It's not the first time and, in fact, she has made others disappear. One was my brother in law whom I thought of today and remembered what he would have wanted me to do for him. He would want me to watch out for his family. My sister and her kids and their kids are what he would be the most proud of if he were still alive today. In his absence, he would want me to be there for them as often as I could be but there was one other thing he would remind me of. It was the conversation he and I had about Lori Lafond and making sure that we stay clear of her. She, in the past, indicated to him that we were not people that she really liked. He told me to always keep my guard up around her. This was long before my rape in 2007.
When Jonathan told me that Lori Lafond was "Lisa", it made me think about that conversation. My brother in law was right. Lori is a danger to my family.
With that kind of pressure on me, I want to remind all of you that it takes all of us to do this job properly. I've been running on low gas for about three days and frankly I needed a day or two to "not work on this case". It doesn't happen very often, but I have to be a human being at times. This keeps me from getting angry with the people I love.
I am sensitive in a different way from some people's thinking. I have a gift and it has to be nurtured and loved. When I go too long without paying attention to it, I drop my guard and that makes my life a target. So I just wanted to remind all of you how much I appreciate all the attention you give to me and my friends. We are really good people that something unbelievably horrible happened to. We are all deserving of your love and support. All of us. My gift to my friends is my friendship which is as loyal as any I've ever seen from a friend to a friend. I'm a good person that watches out for them.
I have more that I want to say this week but I needed some time to be human in a spiritual way. After all I am a spiritual being in a human body, not a human being in a spiritual body. What I keep sacred with my sensitivity has nothing to do with the physical world. It has to do with my connection to God and the universe. May God bless all of you today. I hope Lori doesn't make me disappear, but if she does, remember that's just my human body, not my spiritual being. I am still around in my spiritual form for all of them. I always try to remind my friends that they are capable of incredible thing that they once weren't. They are the best people I could have picked for this investigation for a reason. Their gifts are immeasurable against Lori's hate.
