I knew that stopping Lori LaFond from hurting people was going to be a hard track race. Afterall, I've been on this track since I was about 11 years old. I've cleared hurdle after painful hurdle so many times that I can see where I hit them and what they did to my investigation. I also never assumed that I was running on the same track, so when I finally leveled the playing field I felt like this was a race that I could win. I didn't realize that there would be someone else joining the race that would try to complicate it even more than it already was.
Since joining this investigation there was something very wrong. Every single time I would do something to keep the players on an even track, someone came along and put up another ten hurdles in my lane only. After all the failures and bruises that caused so much damage, I couldn't believe that I made the turn in a clear lane only to find that he put up a hundred hurdles in a hundred yards only in my formerly clear path to the finish line. It's like cheating and pretending that it isn't.
But this isn't a race. I'm not on a track. I'm the victim of some really horrible crimes and painful memories. There is no way that I could ever see this race the same again. It's rigged. There isn't a level playing field to be found. Every hurdle is just more evidence of the crimes committed to impede justice for my family, my friends and myself. It isn't a matter of training harder or being better it's all about surviving the next hurdle and moving forward without quitting. I'm not sure that anyone really gets what has happened here. I'm not sure anyone could fathom that what transpired was nothing short of Tonya Harding's husband bashing in my knee before the Olympics. What I am sure of is that everything that was put in front of me was criminal in intent and in design. It was calculated and on purpose. I was suppose to give up, but giving up means dying. I can't imagine what people think when they help Lori's friends...it's not something that I would have ever done.
I don't know about you, but a cheater could never be the winner of anything. I've never heard of anyone trying so hard to do something so devious. There isn't anyone watching that thinks that what I've put up with for the last ten years wasn't completely designed to put me back on drugs, make bad choices or hurt other people. The whole reason someone stole my bank account was to drive a wedge between my parents, my sister and me. It was all just to slow down the process so that some other runner could cruise to the finish line without even practicing. It's cheating and it is very damaging. Most of it is a mental mind fuck but the truth is that someone saw all of these dirty acts and someone told everyone not to say anything about them. It's as if he sneaked on to the track while someone on the other side was causing a distraction. While they were pitching a fit, he came took all the hurdles from their lanes and put them in mine so that I could never be able to do what I can.
There wasn't anything legal about what Benjamin's father did and he doesn't care. As long as his blond superficial runner looks good crossing the finish line, everyone will forget about how she got there. That's not the way the law works, you see, because all of the hurdles made out of his gold are evidence of wrong doing. There isn't one single gold hurdle that doesn't have his name on it. How did it get there? He put them there and then sneaked off the track like nobody saw him. Nobody else could afford those gold hurdles, just him. His need to hurt me physically, mentally, spiritually and in my relationships has a price that nobody seems to look at or understand. It is illegal for him to get on the track, put up these obstacles, then tip toe off and act like he did nothing. It was dirty. If he was seen doing this he thinks that he can quiet anyone that watched.
There was a point at which I realized that King Midas put up all these hurdles, as horrible as they are, so that his own runner could cross the finish line without any regard to the guy that's been running the race for so long with so little help. How can someone feel good about something that sinister. Of course there are laws against it and of course he ignored all of them because one thing is clear. I have to be made to look terrible so that the rest of the racers could look good. How satisfying that must be for someone that holds up winning at all costs more than justice for everyone that does this fairly and without some kind of bullshit friendship that never existed in reality.
From the second I got shot at with the starting pistol until now, nobody believed in me. I believe in me. I'm the one that got up early and educated myself on this track of impossibilities and I've been the person that trained harder and harder since I was 11 years old. I've been an adult for so long because of this monster inside of me, the one that kills my T-cells and takes away my life. I thought that if I presented the most honest and truthful approach that no parent could resist. Unfortunately, I had the wrong parents watching and plotting against me. I think I'm suppose to appreciate all the obstacles that were reset after I cleared them once fairly.
What was once a clear 100 yard dash, over in seconds to the finish line became a marathon of survival with lots of unforeseen obstacles put in my lane only. King Midas touched everything and destroyed all of the hard work that I put into finishing strong with pride in my work. There isn't anything like triumph any longer. There isn't the feeling of accomplishment or heroism. There is only survival and loneliness. The most uncomplicated route that was earned was stolen then used to smash me over the head with. It's cheating but it is also intimidating, harassing, destructive and mostly hurtful to everyone in my family that deserved all of my hard work to pay off in understanding. Now there is no chance of that happening. There can't be a happy ending now. It can only be marred by the controversy of cheating and lying. Whose family then has to own up to what they did to help someone else, mine does. I'm suppose to "get over" what my own family did to help the criminals because it was more important to keep King Midas happy than it was to support the lone purveyor of truth. It isn't a heroic story any longer, it's King Midas' story of triumph over the people he never considered as his equal. How small this man is.
I'll remember the race...even if nobody else does. Even if all the fanfare that it causes catapults someone like Missy or David into the spotlight, I'll never forget the things that they did to hurt me and my family. The lies and deceit aren't part of who I am. Taking the hurdles that they all used to physically and mentally hurt me are just the right things to show that King Midas should never work with another athlete ever again. People need to recognize that what was used to hurt me for years was his design and his need to be someone else's friend. That kind of conspiracy isn't something that any fan of the sport should like. It's cheating and it's a crime.
As an informant my job isn't to pick out the things that work and discard the things that make other people look bad. I had to survive those things. I had to learn from them and what I learned was not to trust him ever again. Nobody should ever forget that this man can not do anything to help me. He got involved with the dirty athletes and stole for them and put that hurdle in my lane. It's not possible to make that go away and he can't do anything to help me out afterwards without being the kind of person that would take a bribe for my silence. It's not good for the sport and it shows no respect for my own family that should know what I've done to clear these hurdles. There is no desire for the truth just a watered down version of what has transpired. I had to run a marathon before my race even started. His athletes didn't even go to the track...they just stepped in in the middle of the race, he cleared their lanes, obstructed mine and wants everyone to cheer for the cheaters...I don't cheer for cheaters.
Someone is forgetting that it isn't just winning the race, it's about how you got there. If you "took out" all the other competitors and shoved your two racers into the race halfway through and cleared all their hurdles for them, how could they ever be considered as anything but the same as the criminals themselves. It's not like anyone is going to be proud of them. It's not like there is any way I can even be compensated for what was done to destroy my friends and their spirits, and health. There isn't a winner in this whole competition that wasn't handicapped by Jeffrey and his friends that now live with Lori. Not one of us wasn't approached and lied to. Not one of the athletes that took part weren't slighted and there isn't anything that he can do now that would be helpful to any of us that he destroyed. He's a cheater and he cheated my family out of the truth that they have had to live with for decades. Why? So someone like Bessie Smith can spray herself with fake sweat to make it look like she was here to help? Not true. In fact she barely jogged into this race hoping that she could be the one to tell my family that Lori had my brother in law killed or that Lori LaFond was the person that put my father on trial for his life or that Lori LaFond was the person that had me shot at or almost killed in Palm Springs. You see, the race was fixed so that someone else could make me look like I didn't do what was necessary.
What they need to know is that the race was changed midstream so that someone else could look like they were helpful or deserving when all they really did was trip the competition and act like they trained harder than I did.
I'm suppose to be the person to tell my family that Lori did all these horrible things and now he's standing there looking like he deserves some kind of respect for making my life even harder than it already was? Why? So that he can skate in and take the credit? There is no healing for the child that was turned into an adult long before he needed or wanted to. Trying to absolve Bessie Smith from all wrong doing is like breaking into my home and stealing everything from me again. Not only do I look like the person that couldn't stand up for himself, it means that I had to have her, the person that did the very least, help me across the finish line after she broke both of my legs just down the track a piece.
It's offensive. It's so offensive to think that here she came touting my family as her reason then she went and stole from them so that I couldn't be the person that I became. The advocate, the one person that stood up to Lori from the second I got the chance. Bessie Smith is no hero or my brother in law would still be here, I would never have been shot at and I would never have been raped and beaten again in my friend's home. She wasn't there standing up then and she wasn't around supporting my family when it happened. Now she sits around and dreams about how "good" she will look if she "is forced" to tell the truth. That's not a champion for the people, it's a harbinger of what these women did to gay men...they beat them senseless and left them for dead. It's sickening to think that there is anything legal or heroic about it. The choice to work as the outsider gave credibility to the people on the inside that solved this crime, now that credibility has turned them into martyrs.
You can stand an clap for a cheater but there is a bloodied up competitor that did this the hard way. I learned everything from the ground up. I went to the symposiums and libraries and educated myself on this technology. Jeffrey didn't do that. Certainly none of his weak assed athletes did that either and it is simply because, for them it was a matter of inconvenience, not a matter of life or death, like me. I didn't have the opportunity to take his movie "Shrek" and turn it into something different and I would caution anyone that would have tried. He's simply a thief. Nothing more and nothing less. He tells people he'll do something for me when this is all done and that's called a bribe. I won't take it. So there is really nothing that he can do for me now that he's adjusted the track for his liking and his athletes. Cheaters all.
How can lying to my sister and stealing my money look any other way than as a handicap. I worked really hard for that money and my future only to have a dirty coach sit around and plot how to take it, not solve this crime, just steal it away from me. I bled for this fucking crime. I lost my driving privileges for 5 years. I was illegally incarcerated far more times than his son. My boyfriend was jailed for a year and a half while the one before that went to jail for five years. Nobody understands that these are my friends...they don't see that this was all intentional and without a glib comment, Jeffrey's attitude was, "So what?"
Taking what I promised my sister in my journals that I would do is the kind of stuff that makes him look monstrous. How someone could honestly read what I wrote and say, let's take this from him too. It reminds me of what life is like when you have a whole group of antagonists meddling with the outcome of everything. There isn't any kind of reason to run in a race that is fixed, why bother? For me there is no consolation prize here. I don't feel better because someone took my idea then refashioned it with their money to make it look all sparkly and cleavaged. This was a crime of women with mental issues targeting gay men then putting them in a grave or jail with their acts of crime. I see nothing different than what has transpired since Jeffrey got here, apparently. It's still this same group of women using this system to try to look some way they aren't. They don't deserve praise, they deserve a jail cell. They will never get better if they get away scott free, they will continue to seek an easier and less work oriented life, sponging off of whoever they can find and steal from.
I guess I don't have a choice as to what track meet I participate in, but he can't make me run it. I don't have to be humiliated by his plotting and planning on a track with people watching. I don't have to make his athletes feel good about themselves or what they did to get to where they are. Look at the tape. These three entered half way through from the sidelines, tore off another competitor's number and paraded themselves around like some kind of winners. They are the same losers that took everything int he first place. They're the ones that told Lori where we could be found and what we were doing. Without them, Lori would have gotten away with about half of what she ended up stealing and ruining. Why? The reason I got was so that Lori would leave THEM alone, but that doesn't absolve them of the information that they provided or the money that they stole under fraudulent scamming purposes. I don't care if it was Jeffrey's idea to steal this money or their idea to say he did, he shouldn't be so small to think that taking my life and throwing it away is so simple. This is a matter for a judge to decide and I'm not going to do anything but cry foul then entire time he tries this approach.
He took my credible genius plan and made it look some other way. There didn't need to be "another approach" he made that happen. This would have been fine with me too until his "alternate plan" included the destruction of my friends' lives...that apparently got more attention that the solution to the crime of electronic harassment. Lori wasn't the problem, her victims were. From that time forward there has been irreparable damage to our reputations, families, friends and just about everything. It's a "win at all costs, even if they are criminal" attitude. We're suppose to be grateful for that? That's just more gay man bashing in insult form for me...we couldn't do it for ourselves so women had to help us? Fuck that.
There is no pride in this investigation any longer. Everything that was truly good about it has been stained by an agreement to do what Jeffrey told them to. There isn't any kind of triumphant or cathartic feeling of healing, it's just more ice packs on a broken skull because the Emergency room fucked up my bashed in skull. There isn't any healing from this, it's "suffer through it" and learn more about what bad people are like. I don't see or hear anything that is good about anything any more. I don't feel like the gay community has entered this race at all. We were simply used then discarded into jails and obituaries where we couldn't do anything because of these four women and a few cowardly men. This isn't a case of the victims got stronger and out intelligenced the bad guys now, it's about what Jeffrey wants and what Jeffrey thinks. Last time I checked he didn't get HIV from Lori or have filthy blood pumped into his ass. It's so not refreshing to know that the girls that knew all about it and told people not to get involved are now claiming to "help the victims". What a sham.
It's a filthy world we live in because of criminals, but the people that help them steal from us too. Just because you can afford to have everything stole from you, doesn't mean that the rest of us can. For someone to target my already victimized sister in the hopes that some day she might be able to tell the truth is another crime. It's just another hit my family had to absorb and deal with because she can't deal with her OWN LIFE. I definitely have a drug problem, it's Lori LaFond and her girlfriends. Only someone that has to hear Lori and MIssy complain about everything knows how undeserving the two of them are.
If I had a kid and someone like Jeffrey came along and did what he did to me, I would seek justice from that too. I loved my father enough to tell him the truth before he dies, Jeffrey doesn't want any of that to happen. If he does, he wants anyone but me to tell him. Why is he so intent on taking that father-son moment away. My entire life was ruined because of the allegations that were made against him when I was a kid. I don't deserve the right to clear his own name without Bessie Smith acting like some kind of hero? Come on. She knew about all this stuff that happened to me, my brother in law and my sister, and she took that money without divulging a thing. Why?
It's to allay her own guilt. It's to allay all the things my sister lost because her friend Bessie wouldn't get involved. She lost two husbands because of this...and didn't say a word. She didn't come to his funeral. She didn't help my sister through it. Instead, she ignored the situation and let my family suffer. Two years later, I got shot at after years of being followed. She knew about all this too. Instead of telling my sister, I know who shot at your brother, she acted like drugs were my problem. She's not the kind of person that is here to help me, she wants her own guilt to go away with Jeffrey's money. It's sickening.
How do I know this? Well, while defrauding my sister out of my bank account, Bessie, Missy and David returned my father's tool belt to my sister after I talked about it on this blog. It was stolen, along with a lot of other things, but when the three went to my sister's home, they took the tool belt and said, "Lori didn't steal this." That's what Jeffrey's plan entailed. Making Lori LaFond look better? Um, that's exactly the opposite of telling my sister the truth about what Lori has done. Bessie isn't here to help anyone but herself, but I've been doing that for decades now and I can tell you, it doesn't work. So what is Jeffrey going to do now, take this money knowing the circumstances were lied about then say, "Oops, I guess I was wrong?" This isn't twenty buck people.
You see, I'm the one that had to deal with all the shit that happens when Bessie doesn't tell the truth. This is so convenient for her to handicap my life to the point that only she could save me. I'd rather not. There is nothing I despise more than the intrusion she made into my life after decades of heartache and pain. You didn't see her step up when I moved to Palm Spring to investigate this crime, no, she only made an appearance when someone with money arrived on the scene. This is typical of what Lori and her friends do. They make themselves look like the victims of this crime but they've completely forgotten the thirty years prior when we were dog biscuits for Lori to chew on while they did what they wanted. It sickens me to think that I worked so hard and sacrificed so much only to have these four monsters show up here in "nice girl" clothing. They aren't nice. They aren't heroic. They aren't really victims either. They are the remnants of a system that failed Palm Springs and now they want to appear sympathetic. They are anything but. The think of themselves as "people this shouldn't have happened to" but ONLY AFTER I was nearly killed and found a way to talk about it.
You can trust that if Jeffrey was never here, they wouldn't have been here either.
That's the message I think misrepresents this entire crime the most. These girls never did anything to help anyone but themselves. They still do. If not, then why not say, "Here (sister of Kevin) this is the toolbelt that Lori and Brian stole from your father at his home. Lori's a lying, cheating, money stealing fraud. There isn't any of that in Jeffrey's plan. All there is, is more do something evil and find away for Kevin to shoulder the responsibility of keeping his family together. Thanks Bessie, this is exactly why I never wanted you in this case. It's the reason why you used my sister and treated her like someone that didn't deserve the truth. How could you?
What I have seen is a resurrection of a fantasy that Lori has talked about ever since my father was found 100% not guilty. Someone has blown life into her hatred of my family and has helped her get closer and closer with Lori's own friends. I don't find any of this helpful to the true victims of this crime. What I find it to be is a side show of untalented people trying to play a game with my family's relationships. My friend relationships were already destroyed by these same girls. Whatever they did to convince my friends to hide or stay silent is a crime. It's offensive to think that I did this work, as promised, for all of them and King Midas derailed all of it using the same techniques that Lori uses. He's acting like he couldn't see what was to come but I warned him every step of the way and even saved that stolen money to avoid all of this. That's why they took the money to throw a huge hurdle in the plan that was already working.
He didn't like who was winning the race in front of fans that have been watching for years and years telling him to get up and run again. No, this time he saw the ending and decided to trip the racer in the lead, me. Is he so callous or pompous that he thinks I'm just going to go away? This is my life that was hijacked. This was my health that was hijacked. I'm the one that had to cry the endless tears after something else would go wrong. He's not feeling anything...just trip the racer in the lead and throw Missy on the track.
Mostly I look at stealing my money as a death notice. It was set up so that my sister would deny it ever existed, my mom wouldn't tell me the truth after she and I agreed on this account together in private just for me and I had to stay calm knowing that I'd been completely lied to and that the invasion of these criminals went as far as my own mother, father and sister. If that isn't extortion, I don't know what is? They weren't told the truth, they were lied to so that it would look legal but it was still a bank fraud. There isn't any justification for what this was and it certainly didn't solve the crime of rape in my case. In fact, what it did was further humiliate me to the point where I was suppose to think, "I'm worthless, helpless and stranded. It was meant to cause fear. It was a warning from a drug dealer and her friends not to say anything."
I don't need Jeffrey to teach me that I'm worthless, hopeless or stranded. These four girls have been making me feel this way almost since I was 19. It's a feeling that most of the true victims of this crime know all too well. To have someone come and bankroll that feeling is a huge disappointment to me personally. It exploits the victim of this crime to make them look the way that Lori always intended, lesser than. Gay men are lesser than other people. That's the message that Jeffrey sent to all the men that are involved in this crime. I refuse to support anyone that stands on the podium of justice with such dirty feet. The bear the blood, sweat and tears of the people that these girls stomped upon to get to the point that they are at. I don't see heroes, I see the blood of my brothers that were crushed under the weight of their deception.
This other investigation doesn't deserve applause, they should jeer and boo at the lengths that someone went to make the people that suffered look even worse. Not a single person that Lori and her friends did this to is better off with Jeffrey's plan, it's simply another attempt by Lori and her friends to steal what is rightfully ours, our pride, our dignity and our justice. There is no justice in any of these four girls or Lori's friends that won't make me sick when they paint on their makeup and pretend to have been superior to all of us. We know that feeling very well. I refuse to think of such lowly women as people of distinction...it's about humiliating their victims again. Again having to swallow that "we weren't good enough" to help ourselves.
I'm writing this now to let you know that at least one of us will shove them off the podium and stand in their place because I deserved much better than Jeffrey stole from me. He stole my chance to have dignity in my own family with my own friends.
There is no pleasure in stopping this crime now, it's just what has to be done. I won't feel any of the sense of accomplishment that I should have because of what I did for Christopher and my friends. It's a hollow victory in the sense that nothing that Jeffrey did was meant to help us in any way for absolutely no reason at all. We know it when we see it and it disappoints me every single time. Someone who extols the virtues of free speech sat idly by while Lori prepared a restraining order and got a warrant trying to take my free speech away. He sat there and told nobody to help knowing that I got restrained after Lori followed us to Arizona. Then there was a warrant issued to have me arrested for what I was writing? What should Jeffrey have done? How about stand up for the Constitution of the United States? How about not advising my friends to talk to me about Lori being there in Sedona with a gun? How about, call Bryan Anderson and tell him what she was doing? There wasn't just one option there were many. The funny thing is, the money that was stolen from my bank account and give to him IS GETTING INVOLVED...just in a negative way. So the messages are clear.
Jeffrey participated in the crime of employing three people that clearly were committing illegal acts. One allegedly, still works for him, the one that knows my sister...how convenient. If you don't think that he has put a strangle hold on my life, why did he keep around the only one involved in that theft, the only person that could have asked my sister for it...it's because Bessie can control her. She can mislead and lie well enough to make it seem like this money was used for other purposes...like extortion. You see, my sister and mother don't know the truth about why this money was taken, so they have no idea of what I have to hear in my head all day and night since it was taken. It's been the worst two years ever with this torture and I show it. I look and feel really tired and burnt. I think I've probably aged twenty years in the last ten. There is just so much pressure on my shoulders to keep the peace with everyone without speaking my mind.
It's true. Lori LaFond is behind all of this electronic harassment. That's what I was told by Jonathan and that's what I've learned through my own investigation. There is no doubt. Proving it is a piece of cake. Taking extra time and wasting it on feeling bad isn't going to make the facts change. That facts are very simple. I became and informant with Christopher because we'd both been sexually assaulted and I knew it had to do with Steven Frey. That's the path this story took. It didn't go through Hollywood or someone's parenting skills. My opinion of those things is for me to know...but when you are on this system, people meant to help you, betray you and help the wrong side. It's a fact, it happens. It's mostly shit that Lori has made up but you know when there are two factions to this operator saga. There are the people that live with Benjamin and the people that live with Lori. My people aren't even around any more. They, like smart people, got as far away from Lori and her friends as possible.
Idealistically the smartest thing that I could have done was talk with Jonathan's parents first. They have police experience and lawyer experience somewhere in their immediate family. Even his sister, a doctor, is light years better in the "help for victims" investigation. You can only imagine what much better result would have come from investigating with people that aren't wrapped up in the inner workings of the lesbian mafia. Wanting to become one of them, wasn't in the cards. Who would? Apparently there are some, but not many. The problem wasn't to solve what ails these four girls whether drugs, co-dependence, crimes or whatever messes they've been entangled with to make them better at it. The point was to have an intelligent idea inside and outside to compile what we needed for the prosecution of the girl who called herself "Lisa". It was as simple and easy as these things get.
I work outside, Jonathan and Anthony inside and then Christopher with his jail experience and general experience with the police in the State of California, Palm Springs. It was easy and no sweat. Yest Christopher moved and got his degree and wasn't around, but Jonathan and Anthony were. We know what Lori is like and we know that we don't have any of the encumbrances that these four female friends of Lori's have. The truth is that we've all paid for the crimes that Lori said we committed and the police entrapped us for. That is the story. Triumphing through tragedy was finally in our grasp. But for a conversation with Anthony and Jonathan, we would have had Lori's ass in prison for the fraud on the restraining order. Not one of us would say that what has transpired since was worth it. It has not been worth it. It's taken a toll on us with our friendships, though I still love them, our futures, our own sense of self worth, it's diminished the "fun" part of doing this crime investigation. No matter how brilliant we get, we are snuffed out by the big neon Katzenberg sign they stuck in front of us.
We were already invisible, now we have less self worth in our confidence as the people that stood up. This has seriously lost its luster for me. It's not fun. It's hard to conjure up emotions for passion for this kind of wait til you drop feeling and frankly I'm nowhere nearer to Christopher than I was before. I do, still think that there is value in getting these words on a page if someone gets help...you never know who (Robert) or me will get so tired of this that we will escape through other means.
The lane I've been running in has evidence in it. I don't think I want to mess with evidence, I want it to stay just the way it is. I want that missing money to look exactly the way it will when a lawyer subpoenas the records. I want the conversations about "a year long" rebuttal of my friendships with Anthony, Jonathan and Christopher to stand for what they are...an aggressive attempt to snuff me out in the middle of nowhere. It was all of it. It was fake emails, fake friendships, fake texts, faked protection...all of it. There isn't any peace for a victim of this crime. It's always a car accident just before you hit the brakes...always.
The problem I think people have forgotten is that it isn't all just done in our heads. First of all to have this inside my body is a crime. It's just so basic. The ensuing mind games and harassment are all just things that happened because someone put this in my body against my will. I would never consent to this kind of experiment, it's not at all organic. What happens in between are the crimes that are committed to make that obvious one not stick out. We know they are there. We know who put them there. We know how this is done. So the rest of all this pain and misery that I keep having to shoulder is expected now that I know who my true friends are. I know that they wouldn't want me to be in this mess, but there is a lot more that we can do without these outside concerns. What petty felonies are committed in the meantime, Anthony should already have written down, as per our agreement.
As is usually the case, I've been put in the position to do more. I intend to. I just want everyone to understand, I can not live unless this system is down for good. There is no other option any longer because that is the position that I was left in. I'm not able to defend myself from someone with a team of people thinking for her...I've done as well as I can do under this umbrella. I've stepped up and talked to who you know came to my house, so really I've shown you how I feel about this situation. I doubt that there is anything someone could say to me that would make me fee like I mattered anyway. I like the position of spoiler now. You can plan and plot and manipulate all you want in the spaces in between, the crime is this chip system in our heads that people are using to manipulate our families and our lives.
I'm not concerned with who did what any longer. It's all bad. Nobody can really be trusted in a world where there are so many other people to consider. I tried to. I offered my help with U.S. Attorneys and who I know...if you haven't seen that it is much better to have come forward to law enforcement, then there really isn't a position that I can support. I don't support helping the rapist. I certainly don't support exploiting ONE or TWO victims. I don't support fraud and stealing. I can't really come down on a side that isn't simply stop Lori from doing any of this. It's simple really, no more Lori online, no more "Lisa".
(Do not commit any crime because of the above. I believe in a fair investigation of the facts. I don't care about alternate plans or deception within my investigation. I don't really have any other position than if you committed a crime you should go to jail. Period.
It's January 21, 2019, today. MLK Day or Civil Rights Day and all I can say is that I still feel unequal. As long as someone is trying to solve this crime or perpetuate it without understanding that there is a system of caste, is ridiculous. There is a complete pecking order of who is important and who isn't. It's not logical and it isn't a power structure that I recognize. I recognize the law. What the law says is what I do. It's the safest and most effective way of ensuring a proper prosecution. I'm not thinking about who and why...I thinking of what will happen if we don't. If this continues a house full of tuberculosis carriers will leave that house and infect thousands more. If we continue to "don't" someone is going to die. If we continue not to search for law enforcement that will stop Lori as soon as possible, then we are going to bear the responsibility of the problems that she causes. You can't watch her do this and not do something.
If we don't start treating these operators as equals with the victims, then they look unequal and therefore more responsible for what they have not done. They can't look like elevated status people. If they aren't victims that fought against Lori, they they will diminish in their importance. Not one has come forward to say, "I'm someone Lori hurt and I had to monitor her for my own safety. Here's what I know." Otherwise it's just the same system of threats and domination it has always been. To be honest, I think it is worse now than ever.
There is a great deal of resentment among those of us left behind. I think that rather than blame anyone for it, I will acknowledge that it exists and that I will do my best for the rest of us that know this crime was solvable 8 years ago. I think that there was a lot of foul play and it caused considerable damage to Christopher, Anthony, Jonathan and myself. It's a matter of respect and none was shown. This less we have to do with the interactions between Jeffrey's faction and Lori's faction, the better. We can do better with less fanfare.
The fact is that the road of damage caused by Lori and since is long and dirty. I don't really want to do more with it than explain what my agreement was and what was done afterwards. Other than that, I have really nothing left to say about this constant need to detract from the issue of illegal human experimentation and the people that do it without trying to stop Lori.
Personally, the money that I saved in the care of an attorney fighting for two police informants would have been a lot easier to prosecute. Taking it from me when it was prevented that from happening, the truth is that I needed to have a lawyer looking into the hospital aspect of the crime a long time ago. This money would have been really helpful especially when I wasn't working. Basically, what happened underneath the investigation is more of the same as what we are use to. Undermining and threats. Lying and missing money. There was a bigger effort to stop my friends than there was to help us. That's why this crime took an uglier turn down an uglier street. Where we are now, who knows? The path was clear, but now, I fear too muddy to go where it should have.
I took a lot of hits for the electronic harassment and rape news pieces on television and we could just have easily have taken that DNA report to the same television station to impeach their libelous statements, but someone decided that it wasn't a good idea. Billboards. Not a good idea. Child porn information, not a good idea. Someone just kept telling everyone to trust and believe in him and nothing ever came of it...just jail, obituaries, warrants and prison. All this bullshit that my friends had to endure and we could have taken care of it as soon as we got back from Sedona. It would have been so much easier for everyone.
Now we have to track down D.J. and ask him about that food colored GHB that killed Shawn Parrish. From what I've heard it was the same kind of GHB found in one of Jeffrey's homes. I don't know of anyone that colors their GHB with food color other than the person I instructed to do so...that was Lori LaFond and her brother Brian. The person that died was an attorney friend of all of ours and I interviewed him at his home before this GHB was delivered and he got sick and died. I'm not impressed with all the secret keeping either. It hangs me out to dry every single time. I'm not willing to stop talking about what "Lisa" is and who I was told she was.
It's a fact that I'm the one that suggested that Lori color the GHB she was making in Sedona with food color. Like I said, she always like to keep stuff separate from her brother's when it comes to drugs. I suggested it would be something of a novelty for them to color the clear liquid. That way Lori could track it easier inside the victims's homes. How do you serve blue GHB without commenting on it? The rumor is that this colored GHB found it's way from Sedona, Arizona into Jeffrey's rental home and that Jeffrey disposed of it with his security. It should be reported immediately to the DEA with the understanding that it was manufactured by the people that were in Sedona with his two employees present in that home. That's the truth. Anything less is a lie.
This kind of crime only lives in an environment of secrecy where privilege and money can buy you justice when you want it. Nobody else would have stored it as evidence, the law requires more. Since that time my bank account was also stolen, so not reporting that drug supply led to stealing my money too. It's all the same to me no matter what order it happened in. Drugs and theft...not good things. Covering up another crime...priceless. There's already the DNA report that nobody is allowed to see, and the MRI's and the rape pictures and so on and so on. The lid has been screwed tighter than ever before and justice is suffocating because of it.
The joy has been taken out of this for the victims and their families, instead one man wants to stand above all of them as "better", but the path he took to get there is as ugly as anything that Lori has ever done in the past. It isn't any different than before, the four bitches that caused all the problems in Palm Springs are here causing as many as their bodies will earn them. It's sick. Depraved. Lonely and suffocating.
But this isn't a race. I'm not on a track. I'm the victim of some really horrible crimes and painful memories. There is no way that I could ever see this race the same again. It's rigged. There isn't a level playing field to be found. Every hurdle is just more evidence of the crimes committed to impede justice for my family, my friends and myself. It isn't a matter of training harder or being better it's all about surviving the next hurdle and moving forward without quitting. I'm not sure that anyone really gets what has happened here. I'm not sure anyone could fathom that what transpired was nothing short of Tonya Harding's husband bashing in my knee before the Olympics. What I am sure of is that everything that was put in front of me was criminal in intent and in design. It was calculated and on purpose. I was suppose to give up, but giving up means dying. I can't imagine what people think when they help Lori's friends...it's not something that I would have ever done.
I don't know about you, but a cheater could never be the winner of anything. I've never heard of anyone trying so hard to do something so devious. There isn't anyone watching that thinks that what I've put up with for the last ten years wasn't completely designed to put me back on drugs, make bad choices or hurt other people. The whole reason someone stole my bank account was to drive a wedge between my parents, my sister and me. It was all just to slow down the process so that some other runner could cruise to the finish line without even practicing. It's cheating and it is very damaging. Most of it is a mental mind fuck but the truth is that someone saw all of these dirty acts and someone told everyone not to say anything about them. It's as if he sneaked on to the track while someone on the other side was causing a distraction. While they were pitching a fit, he came took all the hurdles from their lanes and put them in mine so that I could never be able to do what I can.
There wasn't anything legal about what Benjamin's father did and he doesn't care. As long as his blond superficial runner looks good crossing the finish line, everyone will forget about how she got there. That's not the way the law works, you see, because all of the hurdles made out of his gold are evidence of wrong doing. There isn't one single gold hurdle that doesn't have his name on it. How did it get there? He put them there and then sneaked off the track like nobody saw him. Nobody else could afford those gold hurdles, just him. His need to hurt me physically, mentally, spiritually and in my relationships has a price that nobody seems to look at or understand. It is illegal for him to get on the track, put up these obstacles, then tip toe off and act like he did nothing. It was dirty. If he was seen doing this he thinks that he can quiet anyone that watched.
There was a point at which I realized that King Midas put up all these hurdles, as horrible as they are, so that his own runner could cross the finish line without any regard to the guy that's been running the race for so long with so little help. How can someone feel good about something that sinister. Of course there are laws against it and of course he ignored all of them because one thing is clear. I have to be made to look terrible so that the rest of the racers could look good. How satisfying that must be for someone that holds up winning at all costs more than justice for everyone that does this fairly and without some kind of bullshit friendship that never existed in reality.
From the second I got shot at with the starting pistol until now, nobody believed in me. I believe in me. I'm the one that got up early and educated myself on this track of impossibilities and I've been the person that trained harder and harder since I was 11 years old. I've been an adult for so long because of this monster inside of me, the one that kills my T-cells and takes away my life. I thought that if I presented the most honest and truthful approach that no parent could resist. Unfortunately, I had the wrong parents watching and plotting against me. I think I'm suppose to appreciate all the obstacles that were reset after I cleared them once fairly.
What was once a clear 100 yard dash, over in seconds to the finish line became a marathon of survival with lots of unforeseen obstacles put in my lane only. King Midas touched everything and destroyed all of the hard work that I put into finishing strong with pride in my work. There isn't anything like triumph any longer. There isn't the feeling of accomplishment or heroism. There is only survival and loneliness. The most uncomplicated route that was earned was stolen then used to smash me over the head with. It's cheating but it is also intimidating, harassing, destructive and mostly hurtful to everyone in my family that deserved all of my hard work to pay off in understanding. Now there is no chance of that happening. There can't be a happy ending now. It can only be marred by the controversy of cheating and lying. Whose family then has to own up to what they did to help someone else, mine does. I'm suppose to "get over" what my own family did to help the criminals because it was more important to keep King Midas happy than it was to support the lone purveyor of truth. It isn't a heroic story any longer, it's King Midas' story of triumph over the people he never considered as his equal. How small this man is.
I'll remember the race...even if nobody else does. Even if all the fanfare that it causes catapults someone like Missy or David into the spotlight, I'll never forget the things that they did to hurt me and my family. The lies and deceit aren't part of who I am. Taking the hurdles that they all used to physically and mentally hurt me are just the right things to show that King Midas should never work with another athlete ever again. People need to recognize that what was used to hurt me for years was his design and his need to be someone else's friend. That kind of conspiracy isn't something that any fan of the sport should like. It's cheating and it's a crime.
As an informant my job isn't to pick out the things that work and discard the things that make other people look bad. I had to survive those things. I had to learn from them and what I learned was not to trust him ever again. Nobody should ever forget that this man can not do anything to help me. He got involved with the dirty athletes and stole for them and put that hurdle in my lane. It's not possible to make that go away and he can't do anything to help me out afterwards without being the kind of person that would take a bribe for my silence. It's not good for the sport and it shows no respect for my own family that should know what I've done to clear these hurdles. There is no desire for the truth just a watered down version of what has transpired. I had to run a marathon before my race even started. His athletes didn't even go to the track...they just stepped in in the middle of the race, he cleared their lanes, obstructed mine and wants everyone to cheer for the cheaters...I don't cheer for cheaters.
Someone is forgetting that it isn't just winning the race, it's about how you got there. If you "took out" all the other competitors and shoved your two racers into the race halfway through and cleared all their hurdles for them, how could they ever be considered as anything but the same as the criminals themselves. It's not like anyone is going to be proud of them. It's not like there is any way I can even be compensated for what was done to destroy my friends and their spirits, and health. There isn't a winner in this whole competition that wasn't handicapped by Jeffrey and his friends that now live with Lori. Not one of us wasn't approached and lied to. Not one of the athletes that took part weren't slighted and there isn't anything that he can do now that would be helpful to any of us that he destroyed. He's a cheater and he cheated my family out of the truth that they have had to live with for decades. Why? So someone like Bessie Smith can spray herself with fake sweat to make it look like she was here to help? Not true. In fact she barely jogged into this race hoping that she could be the one to tell my family that Lori had my brother in law killed or that Lori LaFond was the person that put my father on trial for his life or that Lori LaFond was the person that had me shot at or almost killed in Palm Springs. You see, the race was fixed so that someone else could make me look like I didn't do what was necessary.
What they need to know is that the race was changed midstream so that someone else could look like they were helpful or deserving when all they really did was trip the competition and act like they trained harder than I did.
I'm suppose to be the person to tell my family that Lori did all these horrible things and now he's standing there looking like he deserves some kind of respect for making my life even harder than it already was? Why? So that he can skate in and take the credit? There is no healing for the child that was turned into an adult long before he needed or wanted to. Trying to absolve Bessie Smith from all wrong doing is like breaking into my home and stealing everything from me again. Not only do I look like the person that couldn't stand up for himself, it means that I had to have her, the person that did the very least, help me across the finish line after she broke both of my legs just down the track a piece.
It's offensive. It's so offensive to think that here she came touting my family as her reason then she went and stole from them so that I couldn't be the person that I became. The advocate, the one person that stood up to Lori from the second I got the chance. Bessie Smith is no hero or my brother in law would still be here, I would never have been shot at and I would never have been raped and beaten again in my friend's home. She wasn't there standing up then and she wasn't around supporting my family when it happened. Now she sits around and dreams about how "good" she will look if she "is forced" to tell the truth. That's not a champion for the people, it's a harbinger of what these women did to gay men...they beat them senseless and left them for dead. It's sickening to think that there is anything legal or heroic about it. The choice to work as the outsider gave credibility to the people on the inside that solved this crime, now that credibility has turned them into martyrs.
You can stand an clap for a cheater but there is a bloodied up competitor that did this the hard way. I learned everything from the ground up. I went to the symposiums and libraries and educated myself on this technology. Jeffrey didn't do that. Certainly none of his weak assed athletes did that either and it is simply because, for them it was a matter of inconvenience, not a matter of life or death, like me. I didn't have the opportunity to take his movie "Shrek" and turn it into something different and I would caution anyone that would have tried. He's simply a thief. Nothing more and nothing less. He tells people he'll do something for me when this is all done and that's called a bribe. I won't take it. So there is really nothing that he can do for me now that he's adjusted the track for his liking and his athletes. Cheaters all.
How can lying to my sister and stealing my money look any other way than as a handicap. I worked really hard for that money and my future only to have a dirty coach sit around and plot how to take it, not solve this crime, just steal it away from me. I bled for this fucking crime. I lost my driving privileges for 5 years. I was illegally incarcerated far more times than his son. My boyfriend was jailed for a year and a half while the one before that went to jail for five years. Nobody understands that these are my friends...they don't see that this was all intentional and without a glib comment, Jeffrey's attitude was, "So what?"
Taking what I promised my sister in my journals that I would do is the kind of stuff that makes him look monstrous. How someone could honestly read what I wrote and say, let's take this from him too. It reminds me of what life is like when you have a whole group of antagonists meddling with the outcome of everything. There isn't any kind of reason to run in a race that is fixed, why bother? For me there is no consolation prize here. I don't feel better because someone took my idea then refashioned it with their money to make it look all sparkly and cleavaged. This was a crime of women with mental issues targeting gay men then putting them in a grave or jail with their acts of crime. I see nothing different than what has transpired since Jeffrey got here, apparently. It's still this same group of women using this system to try to look some way they aren't. They don't deserve praise, they deserve a jail cell. They will never get better if they get away scott free, they will continue to seek an easier and less work oriented life, sponging off of whoever they can find and steal from.
I guess I don't have a choice as to what track meet I participate in, but he can't make me run it. I don't have to be humiliated by his plotting and planning on a track with people watching. I don't have to make his athletes feel good about themselves or what they did to get to where they are. Look at the tape. These three entered half way through from the sidelines, tore off another competitor's number and paraded themselves around like some kind of winners. They are the same losers that took everything int he first place. They're the ones that told Lori where we could be found and what we were doing. Without them, Lori would have gotten away with about half of what she ended up stealing and ruining. Why? The reason I got was so that Lori would leave THEM alone, but that doesn't absolve them of the information that they provided or the money that they stole under fraudulent scamming purposes. I don't care if it was Jeffrey's idea to steal this money or their idea to say he did, he shouldn't be so small to think that taking my life and throwing it away is so simple. This is a matter for a judge to decide and I'm not going to do anything but cry foul then entire time he tries this approach.
He took my credible genius plan and made it look some other way. There didn't need to be "another approach" he made that happen. This would have been fine with me too until his "alternate plan" included the destruction of my friends' lives...that apparently got more attention that the solution to the crime of electronic harassment. Lori wasn't the problem, her victims were. From that time forward there has been irreparable damage to our reputations, families, friends and just about everything. It's a "win at all costs, even if they are criminal" attitude. We're suppose to be grateful for that? That's just more gay man bashing in insult form for me...we couldn't do it for ourselves so women had to help us? Fuck that.
There is no pride in this investigation any longer. Everything that was truly good about it has been stained by an agreement to do what Jeffrey told them to. There isn't any kind of triumphant or cathartic feeling of healing, it's just more ice packs on a broken skull because the Emergency room fucked up my bashed in skull. There isn't any healing from this, it's "suffer through it" and learn more about what bad people are like. I don't see or hear anything that is good about anything any more. I don't feel like the gay community has entered this race at all. We were simply used then discarded into jails and obituaries where we couldn't do anything because of these four women and a few cowardly men. This isn't a case of the victims got stronger and out intelligenced the bad guys now, it's about what Jeffrey wants and what Jeffrey thinks. Last time I checked he didn't get HIV from Lori or have filthy blood pumped into his ass. It's so not refreshing to know that the girls that knew all about it and told people not to get involved are now claiming to "help the victims". What a sham.
It's a filthy world we live in because of criminals, but the people that help them steal from us too. Just because you can afford to have everything stole from you, doesn't mean that the rest of us can. For someone to target my already victimized sister in the hopes that some day she might be able to tell the truth is another crime. It's just another hit my family had to absorb and deal with because she can't deal with her OWN LIFE. I definitely have a drug problem, it's Lori LaFond and her girlfriends. Only someone that has to hear Lori and MIssy complain about everything knows how undeserving the two of them are.
If I had a kid and someone like Jeffrey came along and did what he did to me, I would seek justice from that too. I loved my father enough to tell him the truth before he dies, Jeffrey doesn't want any of that to happen. If he does, he wants anyone but me to tell him. Why is he so intent on taking that father-son moment away. My entire life was ruined because of the allegations that were made against him when I was a kid. I don't deserve the right to clear his own name without Bessie Smith acting like some kind of hero? Come on. She knew about all this stuff that happened to me, my brother in law and my sister, and she took that money without divulging a thing. Why?
It's to allay her own guilt. It's to allay all the things my sister lost because her friend Bessie wouldn't get involved. She lost two husbands because of this...and didn't say a word. She didn't come to his funeral. She didn't help my sister through it. Instead, she ignored the situation and let my family suffer. Two years later, I got shot at after years of being followed. She knew about all this too. Instead of telling my sister, I know who shot at your brother, she acted like drugs were my problem. She's not the kind of person that is here to help me, she wants her own guilt to go away with Jeffrey's money. It's sickening.
How do I know this? Well, while defrauding my sister out of my bank account, Bessie, Missy and David returned my father's tool belt to my sister after I talked about it on this blog. It was stolen, along with a lot of other things, but when the three went to my sister's home, they took the tool belt and said, "Lori didn't steal this." That's what Jeffrey's plan entailed. Making Lori LaFond look better? Um, that's exactly the opposite of telling my sister the truth about what Lori has done. Bessie isn't here to help anyone but herself, but I've been doing that for decades now and I can tell you, it doesn't work. So what is Jeffrey going to do now, take this money knowing the circumstances were lied about then say, "Oops, I guess I was wrong?" This isn't twenty buck people.
You see, I'm the one that had to deal with all the shit that happens when Bessie doesn't tell the truth. This is so convenient for her to handicap my life to the point that only she could save me. I'd rather not. There is nothing I despise more than the intrusion she made into my life after decades of heartache and pain. You didn't see her step up when I moved to Palm Spring to investigate this crime, no, she only made an appearance when someone with money arrived on the scene. This is typical of what Lori and her friends do. They make themselves look like the victims of this crime but they've completely forgotten the thirty years prior when we were dog biscuits for Lori to chew on while they did what they wanted. It sickens me to think that I worked so hard and sacrificed so much only to have these four monsters show up here in "nice girl" clothing. They aren't nice. They aren't heroic. They aren't really victims either. They are the remnants of a system that failed Palm Springs and now they want to appear sympathetic. They are anything but. The think of themselves as "people this shouldn't have happened to" but ONLY AFTER I was nearly killed and found a way to talk about it.
You can trust that if Jeffrey was never here, they wouldn't have been here either.
That's the message I think misrepresents this entire crime the most. These girls never did anything to help anyone but themselves. They still do. If not, then why not say, "Here (sister of Kevin) this is the toolbelt that Lori and Brian stole from your father at his home. Lori's a lying, cheating, money stealing fraud. There isn't any of that in Jeffrey's plan. All there is, is more do something evil and find away for Kevin to shoulder the responsibility of keeping his family together. Thanks Bessie, this is exactly why I never wanted you in this case. It's the reason why you used my sister and treated her like someone that didn't deserve the truth. How could you?
What I have seen is a resurrection of a fantasy that Lori has talked about ever since my father was found 100% not guilty. Someone has blown life into her hatred of my family and has helped her get closer and closer with Lori's own friends. I don't find any of this helpful to the true victims of this crime. What I find it to be is a side show of untalented people trying to play a game with my family's relationships. My friend relationships were already destroyed by these same girls. Whatever they did to convince my friends to hide or stay silent is a crime. It's offensive to think that I did this work, as promised, for all of them and King Midas derailed all of it using the same techniques that Lori uses. He's acting like he couldn't see what was to come but I warned him every step of the way and even saved that stolen money to avoid all of this. That's why they took the money to throw a huge hurdle in the plan that was already working.
He didn't like who was winning the race in front of fans that have been watching for years and years telling him to get up and run again. No, this time he saw the ending and decided to trip the racer in the lead, me. Is he so callous or pompous that he thinks I'm just going to go away? This is my life that was hijacked. This was my health that was hijacked. I'm the one that had to cry the endless tears after something else would go wrong. He's not feeling anything...just trip the racer in the lead and throw Missy on the track.
Mostly I look at stealing my money as a death notice. It was set up so that my sister would deny it ever existed, my mom wouldn't tell me the truth after she and I agreed on this account together in private just for me and I had to stay calm knowing that I'd been completely lied to and that the invasion of these criminals went as far as my own mother, father and sister. If that isn't extortion, I don't know what is? They weren't told the truth, they were lied to so that it would look legal but it was still a bank fraud. There isn't any justification for what this was and it certainly didn't solve the crime of rape in my case. In fact, what it did was further humiliate me to the point where I was suppose to think, "I'm worthless, helpless and stranded. It was meant to cause fear. It was a warning from a drug dealer and her friends not to say anything."
I don't need Jeffrey to teach me that I'm worthless, hopeless or stranded. These four girls have been making me feel this way almost since I was 19. It's a feeling that most of the true victims of this crime know all too well. To have someone come and bankroll that feeling is a huge disappointment to me personally. It exploits the victim of this crime to make them look the way that Lori always intended, lesser than. Gay men are lesser than other people. That's the message that Jeffrey sent to all the men that are involved in this crime. I refuse to support anyone that stands on the podium of justice with such dirty feet. The bear the blood, sweat and tears of the people that these girls stomped upon to get to the point that they are at. I don't see heroes, I see the blood of my brothers that were crushed under the weight of their deception.
This other investigation doesn't deserve applause, they should jeer and boo at the lengths that someone went to make the people that suffered look even worse. Not a single person that Lori and her friends did this to is better off with Jeffrey's plan, it's simply another attempt by Lori and her friends to steal what is rightfully ours, our pride, our dignity and our justice. There is no justice in any of these four girls or Lori's friends that won't make me sick when they paint on their makeup and pretend to have been superior to all of us. We know that feeling very well. I refuse to think of such lowly women as people of distinction...it's about humiliating their victims again. Again having to swallow that "we weren't good enough" to help ourselves.
I'm writing this now to let you know that at least one of us will shove them off the podium and stand in their place because I deserved much better than Jeffrey stole from me. He stole my chance to have dignity in my own family with my own friends.
There is no pleasure in stopping this crime now, it's just what has to be done. I won't feel any of the sense of accomplishment that I should have because of what I did for Christopher and my friends. It's a hollow victory in the sense that nothing that Jeffrey did was meant to help us in any way for absolutely no reason at all. We know it when we see it and it disappoints me every single time. Someone who extols the virtues of free speech sat idly by while Lori prepared a restraining order and got a warrant trying to take my free speech away. He sat there and told nobody to help knowing that I got restrained after Lori followed us to Arizona. Then there was a warrant issued to have me arrested for what I was writing? What should Jeffrey have done? How about stand up for the Constitution of the United States? How about not advising my friends to talk to me about Lori being there in Sedona with a gun? How about, call Bryan Anderson and tell him what she was doing? There wasn't just one option there were many. The funny thing is, the money that was stolen from my bank account and give to him IS GETTING INVOLVED...just in a negative way. So the messages are clear.
Jeffrey participated in the crime of employing three people that clearly were committing illegal acts. One allegedly, still works for him, the one that knows my sister...how convenient. If you don't think that he has put a strangle hold on my life, why did he keep around the only one involved in that theft, the only person that could have asked my sister for it...it's because Bessie can control her. She can mislead and lie well enough to make it seem like this money was used for other purposes...like extortion. You see, my sister and mother don't know the truth about why this money was taken, so they have no idea of what I have to hear in my head all day and night since it was taken. It's been the worst two years ever with this torture and I show it. I look and feel really tired and burnt. I think I've probably aged twenty years in the last ten. There is just so much pressure on my shoulders to keep the peace with everyone without speaking my mind.
It's true. Lori LaFond is behind all of this electronic harassment. That's what I was told by Jonathan and that's what I've learned through my own investigation. There is no doubt. Proving it is a piece of cake. Taking extra time and wasting it on feeling bad isn't going to make the facts change. That facts are very simple. I became and informant with Christopher because we'd both been sexually assaulted and I knew it had to do with Steven Frey. That's the path this story took. It didn't go through Hollywood or someone's parenting skills. My opinion of those things is for me to know...but when you are on this system, people meant to help you, betray you and help the wrong side. It's a fact, it happens. It's mostly shit that Lori has made up but you know when there are two factions to this operator saga. There are the people that live with Benjamin and the people that live with Lori. My people aren't even around any more. They, like smart people, got as far away from Lori and her friends as possible.
Idealistically the smartest thing that I could have done was talk with Jonathan's parents first. They have police experience and lawyer experience somewhere in their immediate family. Even his sister, a doctor, is light years better in the "help for victims" investigation. You can only imagine what much better result would have come from investigating with people that aren't wrapped up in the inner workings of the lesbian mafia. Wanting to become one of them, wasn't in the cards. Who would? Apparently there are some, but not many. The problem wasn't to solve what ails these four girls whether drugs, co-dependence, crimes or whatever messes they've been entangled with to make them better at it. The point was to have an intelligent idea inside and outside to compile what we needed for the prosecution of the girl who called herself "Lisa". It was as simple and easy as these things get.
I work outside, Jonathan and Anthony inside and then Christopher with his jail experience and general experience with the police in the State of California, Palm Springs. It was easy and no sweat. Yest Christopher moved and got his degree and wasn't around, but Jonathan and Anthony were. We know what Lori is like and we know that we don't have any of the encumbrances that these four female friends of Lori's have. The truth is that we've all paid for the crimes that Lori said we committed and the police entrapped us for. That is the story. Triumphing through tragedy was finally in our grasp. But for a conversation with Anthony and Jonathan, we would have had Lori's ass in prison for the fraud on the restraining order. Not one of us would say that what has transpired since was worth it. It has not been worth it. It's taken a toll on us with our friendships, though I still love them, our futures, our own sense of self worth, it's diminished the "fun" part of doing this crime investigation. No matter how brilliant we get, we are snuffed out by the big neon Katzenberg sign they stuck in front of us.
We were already invisible, now we have less self worth in our confidence as the people that stood up. This has seriously lost its luster for me. It's not fun. It's hard to conjure up emotions for passion for this kind of wait til you drop feeling and frankly I'm nowhere nearer to Christopher than I was before. I do, still think that there is value in getting these words on a page if someone gets help...you never know who (Robert) or me will get so tired of this that we will escape through other means.
The lane I've been running in has evidence in it. I don't think I want to mess with evidence, I want it to stay just the way it is. I want that missing money to look exactly the way it will when a lawyer subpoenas the records. I want the conversations about "a year long" rebuttal of my friendships with Anthony, Jonathan and Christopher to stand for what they are...an aggressive attempt to snuff me out in the middle of nowhere. It was all of it. It was fake emails, fake friendships, fake texts, faked protection...all of it. There isn't any peace for a victim of this crime. It's always a car accident just before you hit the brakes...always.
The problem I think people have forgotten is that it isn't all just done in our heads. First of all to have this inside my body is a crime. It's just so basic. The ensuing mind games and harassment are all just things that happened because someone put this in my body against my will. I would never consent to this kind of experiment, it's not at all organic. What happens in between are the crimes that are committed to make that obvious one not stick out. We know they are there. We know who put them there. We know how this is done. So the rest of all this pain and misery that I keep having to shoulder is expected now that I know who my true friends are. I know that they wouldn't want me to be in this mess, but there is a lot more that we can do without these outside concerns. What petty felonies are committed in the meantime, Anthony should already have written down, as per our agreement.
As is usually the case, I've been put in the position to do more. I intend to. I just want everyone to understand, I can not live unless this system is down for good. There is no other option any longer because that is the position that I was left in. I'm not able to defend myself from someone with a team of people thinking for her...I've done as well as I can do under this umbrella. I've stepped up and talked to who you know came to my house, so really I've shown you how I feel about this situation. I doubt that there is anything someone could say to me that would make me fee like I mattered anyway. I like the position of spoiler now. You can plan and plot and manipulate all you want in the spaces in between, the crime is this chip system in our heads that people are using to manipulate our families and our lives.
I'm not concerned with who did what any longer. It's all bad. Nobody can really be trusted in a world where there are so many other people to consider. I tried to. I offered my help with U.S. Attorneys and who I know...if you haven't seen that it is much better to have come forward to law enforcement, then there really isn't a position that I can support. I don't support helping the rapist. I certainly don't support exploiting ONE or TWO victims. I don't support fraud and stealing. I can't really come down on a side that isn't simply stop Lori from doing any of this. It's simple really, no more Lori online, no more "Lisa".
(Do not commit any crime because of the above. I believe in a fair investigation of the facts. I don't care about alternate plans or deception within my investigation. I don't really have any other position than if you committed a crime you should go to jail. Period.
It's January 21, 2019, today. MLK Day or Civil Rights Day and all I can say is that I still feel unequal. As long as someone is trying to solve this crime or perpetuate it without understanding that there is a system of caste, is ridiculous. There is a complete pecking order of who is important and who isn't. It's not logical and it isn't a power structure that I recognize. I recognize the law. What the law says is what I do. It's the safest and most effective way of ensuring a proper prosecution. I'm not thinking about who and why...I thinking of what will happen if we don't. If this continues a house full of tuberculosis carriers will leave that house and infect thousands more. If we continue to "don't" someone is going to die. If we continue not to search for law enforcement that will stop Lori as soon as possible, then we are going to bear the responsibility of the problems that she causes. You can't watch her do this and not do something.
If we don't start treating these operators as equals with the victims, then they look unequal and therefore more responsible for what they have not done. They can't look like elevated status people. If they aren't victims that fought against Lori, they they will diminish in their importance. Not one has come forward to say, "I'm someone Lori hurt and I had to monitor her for my own safety. Here's what I know." Otherwise it's just the same system of threats and domination it has always been. To be honest, I think it is worse now than ever.
There is a great deal of resentment among those of us left behind. I think that rather than blame anyone for it, I will acknowledge that it exists and that I will do my best for the rest of us that know this crime was solvable 8 years ago. I think that there was a lot of foul play and it caused considerable damage to Christopher, Anthony, Jonathan and myself. It's a matter of respect and none was shown. This less we have to do with the interactions between Jeffrey's faction and Lori's faction, the better. We can do better with less fanfare.
The fact is that the road of damage caused by Lori and since is long and dirty. I don't really want to do more with it than explain what my agreement was and what was done afterwards. Other than that, I have really nothing left to say about this constant need to detract from the issue of illegal human experimentation and the people that do it without trying to stop Lori.
Personally, the money that I saved in the care of an attorney fighting for two police informants would have been a lot easier to prosecute. Taking it from me when it was prevented that from happening, the truth is that I needed to have a lawyer looking into the hospital aspect of the crime a long time ago. This money would have been really helpful especially when I wasn't working. Basically, what happened underneath the investigation is more of the same as what we are use to. Undermining and threats. Lying and missing money. There was a bigger effort to stop my friends than there was to help us. That's why this crime took an uglier turn down an uglier street. Where we are now, who knows? The path was clear, but now, I fear too muddy to go where it should have.
I took a lot of hits for the electronic harassment and rape news pieces on television and we could just have easily have taken that DNA report to the same television station to impeach their libelous statements, but someone decided that it wasn't a good idea. Billboards. Not a good idea. Child porn information, not a good idea. Someone just kept telling everyone to trust and believe in him and nothing ever came of it...just jail, obituaries, warrants and prison. All this bullshit that my friends had to endure and we could have taken care of it as soon as we got back from Sedona. It would have been so much easier for everyone.
Now we have to track down D.J. and ask him about that food colored GHB that killed Shawn Parrish. From what I've heard it was the same kind of GHB found in one of Jeffrey's homes. I don't know of anyone that colors their GHB with food color other than the person I instructed to do so...that was Lori LaFond and her brother Brian. The person that died was an attorney friend of all of ours and I interviewed him at his home before this GHB was delivered and he got sick and died. I'm not impressed with all the secret keeping either. It hangs me out to dry every single time. I'm not willing to stop talking about what "Lisa" is and who I was told she was.
It's a fact that I'm the one that suggested that Lori color the GHB she was making in Sedona with food color. Like I said, she always like to keep stuff separate from her brother's when it comes to drugs. I suggested it would be something of a novelty for them to color the clear liquid. That way Lori could track it easier inside the victims's homes. How do you serve blue GHB without commenting on it? The rumor is that this colored GHB found it's way from Sedona, Arizona into Jeffrey's rental home and that Jeffrey disposed of it with his security. It should be reported immediately to the DEA with the understanding that it was manufactured by the people that were in Sedona with his two employees present in that home. That's the truth. Anything less is a lie.
This kind of crime only lives in an environment of secrecy where privilege and money can buy you justice when you want it. Nobody else would have stored it as evidence, the law requires more. Since that time my bank account was also stolen, so not reporting that drug supply led to stealing my money too. It's all the same to me no matter what order it happened in. Drugs and theft...not good things. Covering up another crime...priceless. There's already the DNA report that nobody is allowed to see, and the MRI's and the rape pictures and so on and so on. The lid has been screwed tighter than ever before and justice is suffocating because of it.
The joy has been taken out of this for the victims and their families, instead one man wants to stand above all of them as "better", but the path he took to get there is as ugly as anything that Lori has ever done in the past. It isn't any different than before, the four bitches that caused all the problems in Palm Springs are here causing as many as their bodies will earn them. It's sick. Depraved. Lonely and suffocating.
