...yeah but the boots ARE cute, am I wrong?
"Nobody ever says anything," Lori just screeched or maybe it was a cackle? It was one or the other. I'm in the middle of another one of those nights when Lori LaFond is in, you guessed it, "a bad mood." I've never seen Lori in a good mood and I've known her since I was about 11 years old. She's always pissed off. She's always looking to cause a fight. Damn if she isn't scratching on every single door to see if someone will come out and fight with me.
I have to listen to her every day, ALL DAY, and what I can glean from her druggie conversations is that she doesn't say one single sentence that isn't meant to cause a fight between one person and another. Her need to take attention off of herself and place it somewhere else is a word by word attack. Most of the time I think Lori is using way too many drugs. All it takes is a visit from my sister and she goes so far overboard that you just know she's the one that is responsible for my father's case and my brother in law's death. She's the "mad texter". She's the "complaining outsider". Lori is what the Jews call, "Kvetchy kvetch", nosey and loud about it.
No lie, my sister came by today and offered to do a favor for me and Lori went berserk. Anytime my sister is involved in something, Lori loses her mind. She gets so violent and angry that her whole demeanor changes from super bitch to Mega Godzilla Super Bitch. I don't know what it is that my sister does to her on the inside, but it is definitely not a pretty sight or EEG. You should feel her anger the way I do and you would know that this person is out to get her or me.
"Total control" is what Lori continues to seek to have over me. You all know that a drug addict is out of control, so what makes a girl that can't control herself, able to control so many other people? I think that some of you have been too well groomed over the years to understand that a reasonable person would do much greater things than just sit and listen to a group of meth addicts threatening gay guys all day long. Now it's moved on to threatening their family members and a "fuck it" attitude. I haven't had the "fuck it" attitude since back when I did use drugs...now it's "fuck it" I'm going to do exactly what the law says to. Why not? Drawing attention to this crime is so important. All the good advocates are willing to go to jail for their causes...I'm willing to put myself up against this group of individuals and take my chances.
If you are a man that has ever been nagged...don't tell your wife, girlfriend or ex that btw (Bro code law #722)...then you can only imagine what it is like to spend 13 straight years listening to Queen Nag all day and night with her endless supply of meth keeping her disease-ridden body awake. You just know she's going to collapse into decline when the drugs are gone. I've known a lot of drug addicts and this one is so stereotypical in most of the ways that they should change "tweaker" to "Lori LaFond".
Let me guess. She's paranoid to the point where she lights up the outside of her house all day and night just so people won't be looking in her window at her beauty. You know Lori, some man is always looking at her for sexual reasons...note sarcastic tone and intent here. Come on, she knows who I've talked to in the past few weeks, she's shaking in her cowboy boots (see above).
Welcome to Fight Chub where the number one rule isn't "don't talk about Fight Chub, it's Fight Chub everywhere you think you see one popping up, girlfriend." You know as a gay man, I'm kinda not thinking that's a slogan I'm behind. In fact, I'll say it right now, Fight Chub is racist...aw come on, I'm just playing with you girls. You don't really care if NARB happens, you just want to nip it in the bud. Lori hasn't caused NARB ever. Not since Marc LeDrew dumped her for the pretty girl on the football field in high school. (I think I videotaped it...seriously)
I've never known a group of women like the Lesbian Mafia that have such disdain for the male organ, sure they have no use for it, but can't they just let it hang? I mean what's it to em? Personally, the less they want, the better for me. I'd prefer the weenie roast to the taco bar anyway. Are these confused lesbians? I've had some experts looking into this phenomenon, most of my lesbians agree. If you prefer the salad bar and I prefer steak, a bonus for both of us. These silly lesbians. Where are my Ellen Degeneres lesbians? My Lilly Tomlin/Jane Wagner lesbians? Come on Ms. Jane Lynch. These girls are making my Dinah Shore/Nabisco LPGA girls look bad. There's no way Missy Elliot doesn't know what a lesbian misdemeanor and felony look like. This is like a drive-by Lezzing.
I'm the first guy to put on Carrie Underwood, crack open a bottle and talk politics with my lesbians. Shoot, there's even a tampon box in the ladies room in an all guys home. It's called considerate, and these ladies came for the wrong gay guy. Given that my senior college thesis was in women's studies, you might think that these girls have some kind of bisexual vibe going. Cool with me, but I'm still going for the steak. I'm not a soup and salad kind of guy. I like what I like that that's where I'm heading.
What I am particularly proud of is how they change the topic of their hate once every...well it hasn't ever happened, but I'm sure they will change their opinions. Like never!!! It just gets worse and worse for the gay male victims of these women. The forgotten men of Palm Springs all victims of Buffalo Bull.
"Nobody ever says anything," Lori just screeched or maybe it was a cackle? It was one or the other. I'm in the middle of another one of those nights when Lori LaFond is in, you guessed it, "a bad mood." I've never seen Lori in a good mood and I've known her since I was about 11 years old. She's always pissed off. She's always looking to cause a fight. Damn if she isn't scratching on every single door to see if someone will come out and fight with me.
I have to listen to her every day, ALL DAY, and what I can glean from her druggie conversations is that she doesn't say one single sentence that isn't meant to cause a fight between one person and another. Her need to take attention off of herself and place it somewhere else is a word by word attack. Most of the time I think Lori is using way too many drugs. All it takes is a visit from my sister and she goes so far overboard that you just know she's the one that is responsible for my father's case and my brother in law's death. She's the "mad texter". She's the "complaining outsider". Lori is what the Jews call, "Kvetchy kvetch", nosey and loud about it.
No lie, my sister came by today and offered to do a favor for me and Lori went berserk. Anytime my sister is involved in something, Lori loses her mind. She gets so violent and angry that her whole demeanor changes from super bitch to Mega Godzilla Super Bitch. I don't know what it is that my sister does to her on the inside, but it is definitely not a pretty sight or EEG. You should feel her anger the way I do and you would know that this person is out to get her or me.
"Total control" is what Lori continues to seek to have over me. You all know that a drug addict is out of control, so what makes a girl that can't control herself, able to control so many other people? I think that some of you have been too well groomed over the years to understand that a reasonable person would do much greater things than just sit and listen to a group of meth addicts threatening gay guys all day long. Now it's moved on to threatening their family members and a "fuck it" attitude. I haven't had the "fuck it" attitude since back when I did use drugs...now it's "fuck it" I'm going to do exactly what the law says to. Why not? Drawing attention to this crime is so important. All the good advocates are willing to go to jail for their causes...I'm willing to put myself up against this group of individuals and take my chances.
If you are a man that has ever been nagged...don't tell your wife, girlfriend or ex that btw (Bro code law #722)...then you can only imagine what it is like to spend 13 straight years listening to Queen Nag all day and night with her endless supply of meth keeping her disease-ridden body awake. You just know she's going to collapse into decline when the drugs are gone. I've known a lot of drug addicts and this one is so stereotypical in most of the ways that they should change "tweaker" to "Lori LaFond".
Let me guess. She's paranoid to the point where she lights up the outside of her house all day and night just so people won't be looking in her window at her beauty. You know Lori, some man is always looking at her for sexual reasons...note sarcastic tone and intent here. Come on, she knows who I've talked to in the past few weeks, she's shaking in her cowboy boots (see above).
Welcome to Fight Chub where the number one rule isn't "don't talk about Fight Chub, it's Fight Chub everywhere you think you see one popping up, girlfriend." You know as a gay man, I'm kinda not thinking that's a slogan I'm behind. In fact, I'll say it right now, Fight Chub is racist...aw come on, I'm just playing with you girls. You don't really care if NARB happens, you just want to nip it in the bud. Lori hasn't caused NARB ever. Not since Marc LeDrew dumped her for the pretty girl on the football field in high school. (I think I videotaped it...seriously)
I've never known a group of women like the Lesbian Mafia that have such disdain for the male organ, sure they have no use for it, but can't they just let it hang? I mean what's it to em? Personally, the less they want, the better for me. I'd prefer the weenie roast to the taco bar anyway. Are these confused lesbians? I've had some experts looking into this phenomenon, most of my lesbians agree. If you prefer the salad bar and I prefer steak, a bonus for both of us. These silly lesbians. Where are my Ellen Degeneres lesbians? My Lilly Tomlin/Jane Wagner lesbians? Come on Ms. Jane Lynch. These girls are making my Dinah Shore/Nabisco LPGA girls look bad. There's no way Missy Elliot doesn't know what a lesbian misdemeanor and felony look like. This is like a drive-by Lezzing.
I'm the first guy to put on Carrie Underwood, crack open a bottle and talk politics with my lesbians. Shoot, there's even a tampon box in the ladies room in an all guys home. It's called considerate, and these ladies came for the wrong gay guy. Given that my senior college thesis was in women's studies, you might think that these girls have some kind of bisexual vibe going. Cool with me, but I'm still going for the steak. I'm not a soup and salad kind of guy. I like what I like that that's where I'm heading.
What I am particularly proud of is how they change the topic of their hate once every...well it hasn't ever happened, but I'm sure they will change their opinions. Like never!!! It just gets worse and worse for the gay male victims of these women. The forgotten men of Palm Springs all victims of Buffalo Bull.
