Lori, it's hard to "see why" when you have panties over your face. Also, this isn't what we mean by "over your head", that is simply something that is too intelligent for your level of understanding. It has nothing to do with panties, so I don't know why you think of that every time something IS "over your head". LOL
Yesterday, or was it the day before, Lori started a conversation about something that she said was "seriously funny". I was hoping for something that was entertaining to come out of her mouth, and I wasn't disappointed. Lori use to tell people that she was "famously funny", but that has been shot down because she isn't famous. So now she is repeating the phrase, "seriously funny". What do you think when you hear someone say, "I am seriously funny?" I know I anticipate something special to come out of her mouth, but once again, I wasn't disappointed. As defined by Lori, "seriously funny" means making fun of something that is serious and usually inappropriate; definitely not funny. She thinks of this as a conversation starter...usually it is an encounter ender for most.
Lori, seriously funny means that someone is more than funny...seriously. It means that the person's skills in comedy are so good that you should see them perform. Seriously funny has nothing to do with "being serious"...except about funny. Lori loves to pun a phrase to mean something different than what it means. Seriously funny is an oxymoron, like a jumbo shrimp. Here's the thing with Lori these days. She doesn't like being called stupid, even though many of the tactics she used were. She doesn't like to be thought of as "not funny", though she's been trying that "outing a homosexual" thing for years without a single chuckle. You know those "How many fags can you sit on a barstool" kind of jokes? Stale. Not funny. Heard way too many times and not laughed at nearly enough to make you "famous" or "serious". Just stupid. It's like if I made an off color "lesbian haircut" remark. It's just too damn easy for a pro like myself. LOL - I'm no pro, but I am funny.
No matter what, Lori has to either be funnier or smarter than everyone else or she isn't satisfied. I don't know about you guys, but have you ever tried that whole Pygmalion thing with someone and it just didn't work? You know, you did the make over, you practiced the words to say, you gave those refining moments a tweek and as soon as Cinderella got to the ball all she remember was Hillbilly and hayseed? You know? You can take the girl out of the hills, but the billy still remains in the dyke. Awkward is the word that Jonathan told me Lori was like. You don't want to go anywhere with her because she will embarrass you, your friends, everyone in the room, then she stomps off like she accomplished something, which she did, but doesn't realize. She made herself look like a nincompoop.
With some girls, I guess like Jessica Simpson (who I think is beautiful and smarter than you all know), "over my head" is cute. With girls like Lori, it's real...all day...and not something that is going to change. Here's an example. Lori doesn't read very well. So rather than take the time to read, which is a huge part of what these people have to do when the target only thinks a conversation, Lori would rather go to all the trouble to find someone to read the transcript to her all day and night. Wouldn't it be smarted just to learn how to read than go through all those people translating for her and learning about this crime? You'd think so, but Lori's not into those sorts of details.
Um...you want this system to remain a secret right Lori? Less is more...edit! That's my advice to you. Before you talk, know about what it is you are talking about.
So let's get to "fill in the blank" okay?
One of the things that Lori and her "crew" do is play a little game of "let the victim tell you the story and fill in the information that Lori needs." What she needs it for is something bad, guaranteed. We won't get into why she needs it, just suffice to say that identity thieves and tattletales love that kind of information. It's usually used to make the victim look bad. Her lists of information are very long. Lori is constantly looking at pictures that she has stolen then trying to make up a story about who they are and what they do. The salaciousness of the story depends on how Lori views the picture. I can only imagine that many grandma's were prostitutes or strippers judging from what Lori talks about. Sweet old lady pictures of when they were young turned into some kind of raunchy family secret. Those are Lori's favorites!!!
Now that Lori has told so many people that she has "had children" (another pun play on words) similar to "I took that picture" when she really means that she stole it from someone, she has to find baby pictures to match those kids. She's stolen so many photographs from people of naked babies, that she thinks she can weave them into a lie that someone will believe. Lori doesn't understand that a woman that has given birth has physical markers and blood work that show she is a mother. It's going to be very hard to convince a jury that she has children when a doctor can prove she hasn't, by her hip bones. Lots of stuff like that goes over Lori's head. All she thinks is a picture will save me. Not gonna happen. I know she's not had children with Bryan Anderson like she has told other police officers and reunion guests.
To bolster her stories, Lori has to "fill in the blanks" about people in the pictures so she sends out Christian to ask the questions about the person in the picture...like where they live, who their spouse is, how many kids and so forth. You see, the key to a good lie for Lori, is a tid bit of truth to go with it. Oh she's tried to Photoshop herself into family reunion pictures or, like I said, she'll say she "took the picture" in her job as a freelance photographer. The truth is that she loves to photograph herself, mostly nude and she loves to take pictures of her conquests...ie. rape victims. Back in the day, Polaroids were what she used. Digital cameras weren't available back when she started so Polaroids were what she used according to Jonathan Mendenhall.
Lori loves thinks like "I work from home", except when she wants to file a restraining order for workplace violence, or "I'm a free lance photographer". She just loves thinking that she's "continental", a "jet setter" or "filthy rich"! Words like "exotic" or "titillation", make her feel sexy. In a word associate mind like Lori's, it is simple to spin her off into a direction that she doesn't need to go in. Simple mention Missy Pissy's "dusty rose" colored nipples and Lori will be lost for days. Mention another woman's vagina (which is against Lori's Rules), and Lori will twirl off like she's on GHB and a battery operated device. I've never seen someone that takes to suggestions as easily as Lori does.
The key for victims of this crime is to know when she is on a fishing expedition. If she or one of her friends is hitting on one area of you life and exceedingly numerous amount of times...then you know she's greasing you for an answer. My suggestion...lie to her. Have a list of names near you or write one on your arm and make up your own story about them. I've seen Christopher do it before. It works. If you use a salacious lie, even better. She'll have that rumor spread to everyone you know in minutes. That's who Lori really is. I once thought to her, "You don't know this Lori but I have a child. A little boy that lives in Texas with his mommy." Remember, I didn't talk to Lori, I thought about it. I am 100% certain that she ran around to anyone that she thought would be shocked by that and made me look like some kind of "deadbeat" dad. I'll bet she told Christopher about it too. Truth is, if you want to know who is spreading a rumor about you (and you always know who you think it is, right?), tell one to that person about yourself...don't tell anyone else...and see if it is her. I did that to her for years. I thought, this is a big secret, I can't tell anyone. First thing Lori could do was squeal.
I'm gay. I don't have a kid. I wanted to know if Lori would spread that rumor. How much you want to bet she told her mom and dad, my best friend, Bryan Anderson, other cops, maybe even my own sister. That is such an outlandish lie that ONLY Lori LaFond would repeat it. Once again, I did not tell her anything about this...she learned about it on this system. There were others too....but I didn't tell her. She stole them from my mind...good thing I lied to her. You should do that too.
Never fill in the blank for her. Say Mickey Mouse is your father. Never tell her anything about your sisters either...she has a thing about that. If one of them is lesbian, even worse. Never allow Lori to have anything personal about you. She is always looking for something to hurt you or your friends with. I am a great secret keeper, but with Lori around, I don't want to know nothing from nothing.
