You know, I tried so hard to help Christopher and his family that I lost sight of me.
I once said that it was easier to try to save him than it was to save myself. I think it motivated me to become a better person and a much better advocate for the victims from our community. Better than Christopher, a priest? Yes. Sometimes you have to suffer through the worst parts of a human being to become a better human being on your own.
The unfortunate part of this "hate story" is that I tried to make someone else's dream come true and save him from something that nobody has ever been able to do before. You think that I am hurt? You bet your ass I am. Am I angry? Why? Anger in this situation has only made it worse for me. What I am is heartbroken...but that will change over time. Forgiveness isn't really an option any longer because of the effort I made to help Christopher's family. I'm not a toy, I'm not a plaything. I'm a person with morals, standards and a will to help people, not abandon them.
It's so funny to me that people think that I've been working so hard for someone that isn't interested in me, but there was a much bigger picture that Christopher is no longer a part of. While he chastises the people of California and the problems that were here, there was an offer of friendship and hope that he completely disregarded. Never will I do this again.
I have no feelings for Marie Monti or his family members. This situation required toughness, not cowardice. I think of Christopher as a coward. Yes, he suffered, but he did so needlessly. I made certain that when it came to his safety, that this was the place to come to for answers. You have to understand the level of sacrifice I extended to him and his family for my own safety. I now live minutes from six of the worst operators that this system has ever seen. Instead of manning up, he chickened out. That's not the kind of person that I deserve in my life. He's more of a quitter than I could ever have imagined.
Like it or not, this "friendship" was ended on purpose by Jeffrey Katzenberg and his wife. They made the decisions about me and Christopher that will now keep him from the financial success that he could have had here. I think that it was a cruel thing to do to me and I also think it is unforgivable. Without Christopher this project has no heart.
Regardless, people need to stop thinking of Christopher as any kind of friend of mine, he's not. What I've had to suffer through because of his lack of concern is beyond words. His own safety was one thing, but what his family has done to me in the meantime is cruel and intentional. My entire family was put in a position of fear because of his cowardice and his family's lack of concern for a situation that was "too dangerous for him" but not too dangerous for me and my family or friends.
I've already lost a family member to Lori LaFond. I've been shot at, beaten nearly to death, infected and almost reinfected, jailed endlessly...and the best that Marie Monti could do was move her son home without a single word of thanks. Some might say that is negligent, I think it is criminal.
While Lori pines away for a date with his married sister, all I get to hear about now is how Christopher is so much happier now without me or my family. How he never loved me or even liked me. I think that is simply bullshit. His family never lifted a NY fingernail to assist me or my family with the girl that he met and told him that I was her target. That is a crime. When the time comes, I will be more than certain to tell prosecutors what Christopher's role in my intentional infliction of emotional distress was. He was there simply to make my life miserable. And he has.
The gay communities of California owe Marie Monti a great big middle finger of respect. You helped to continue the holocaust of gay men in our area with your short sightedness and lack of care for anyone but your own son. The 650 other men that were treated as badly or worse than Christopher should never consider him a friend to this investigation or to society. To think, he came all the way from New York, center of terrorism, only to assist the worst terrorist of all. We own him nothing. Nothing is what he will get.
For those of you out there that think that I could just run to New York when I was done to find him...that's just pathetic. Why would I bother to change his life for the better when he traded mine for the worst situation of all...fighting off a serial killer with my own bare hands. This part of the project leaves a tremendously dark hole in my life. There is nothing worse than devoting 100% of my time trying to save Christopher only to find out that he'd throw me in front of Lori LaFond with my hands and feet tied, just so he could be free, but freedom has a price too.
When the book is finished, he will see that being a coward for God is no way to build faith but it sure is a great way to save your own ass. This isn't the son of Bobby Monti, it's his cowardly offspring and a huge variation on the theme of a righteous person.
If Christopher ever thought that he would return to California as a friend to me, he's sadly mistaken. He obviously was never informed that I gave up ten fucking years of my life to save his pathetic ass. He posed as a priest, but there wasn't anything priestly about how his family decided that they were the only ones that mattered.
You know what the real tragedy of his cowardice is? Now Lori LaFond thinks she has an ally in the Monti Family. How sad that someone like Marie Monti would make decisions that would empower a shit head terrorist like Lori. We all have to suffer that consequences of that decision now that he's traded all of us for his "happy life". There are over a million or two hits on this project alone and if anyone thinks that I'm going to omit the Christopher Monti part of this story, I'm not. All the foolish things that I tried to help his mother are worthless for us. Worthless for me. Worthless for my family. I'd like to thank all of the Monti's for what they did to my mother and father.
We've only been dealing with Lori since about 1981...you dealt with her for a few years out here while people tried to help you. There isn't a single person in this entire universe, including his own family, that tried to do more for Christopher than me. I did it out of love and a promise. I kept my end of that bargain, but some people are simply selfish.
So while Christopher mugs for selfies and skis his ass off, I'd like to offer him this thanks. It's from my friend Halsey, I think it says it all. Thanks for the phone call Marie, you are a real humanitarian and I'm so grateful. I hope only to return the favor to you by informing the gay communities of the U.S.A. that when it came time to stand up and be counted, your son ran and hid. In the future I hope that he finds someone that will be able to overlook that he couldn't find one shred of decency to help the gay community he pretends to be a part of. There isn't a gay man in this universe that should respect him...I know I don't.
