Explaining The Nightmare That Is The Urban Legend: Lori LaFond's Playground

I love this picture because it reminds me of what life was like in Palm Springs, California: A monster resides there all directed by an evil woman checking off how to terrorize a gay man with a list of personalized horrors.

I was sitting at home this afternoon, just after work, thinking about Christopher.  What's new?  What I was thinking about, is the usual thoughts that a person has when they only know part of a story.  I don't know Christopher's full experience with this crime, but I also know that it isn't any different than most of the "focused targets" of Lori Lafond.  When I say it "isn't any different", I don't mean to belittle the fact that it is a much more harsh punishment to love me, simply because of Lori's intense obsessed jealousy.  When I love someone, their life becomes unlivable.  So tonight I'm going to explain to all of you the scenarios that become, what feels like, a daily unsolicited blind date.  This one is easy to write about, but, at the same time, it is difficult to get across the emotional toll it takes on a person.  I can give examples of pre-Christopher encounters and post-Christopher life, but they are equally as hard to explain.  So I'll go slowly.

I think first, most of you that have heard Lori understand the concept of "waking up in a high speed chase."  Remember, unlike the police, the "voices in your head" can show up without the victim having ever heard anything like this before.  It's shocking, it's unreal and it is definitely artificial, but any sane person knows that if they talk about it, the first thing anyone is going to do is blame drug use.  If the person is sober, it's blamed on past drug use.  So I'm going to tell you the first story pre-Steven Frey and Christopher, then some of the after party.

You should understand that when I was 19, I was from a military town pre-"Don't Ask, Don't Tell" so I was in the middle of that gay discovery period.  Usually an experience that a man or woman goes through to become comfortable with who they are inside. I was sexually inexperienced and didn't use drugs.  So immediately when I became HIV positive, I also began the period of "being followed."  So almost immediately, Lori began by contacting fraternity brothers, girlfriends, employers and it felt odd.  It was odd to begin with because of the HIV.  This is 1988, the AIDS crisis was in full swing and there was little hope of survival.  So in addition to dealing with homosexuality, I had the plague and now people were following me and the weird stuff started to happen.

Roommates were meeting girlfriends but without me involved.  Friends of the girlfriend were coming to my home when I wasn't there and were going through my things.   My sister knew more about my new drug use than I ever told her.  Information was being given to people in my world from another world.  The feeling was ominous and overwhelming.  It was unexplainable.  Why would any group of people follow me.  A normal college student, normal job at a record store, freakishly normal life turned inside out.  All of a sudden, I was being followed...and I couldn't explain why?

These coincidences would continue to follow me from Redlands to San Diego to the point that being followed was the norm.  I got so use to being followed that it didn't distract me as much as it embarrassed me.  I certainly did not want any of my friends seeing these expressionless faces following me around to the grocery store, gay bars, on dates...wherever I went, there were these "people."  Scowls, stares, uncomfortably in my personal space.  Literally watching what I was buying at the store or sitting next to me eating lunch while overhearing conversations.  It was like living in a spy movie where I was the spy and they were looking to expose me.  When you work for the Justice Department of the U.S., you know it isn't good.

I then used drugs to cope.  It could have been food, liquor, smoking or whatever, but something had to calm my nerves.  For a long time it was working out.  I threw myself into the gym because it provided me with a release.  If I was healthy and strong, they couldn't hurt me.  I'd leave the gym for a run down in Pacific Beach and there would be throngs of people waiting for me where I parked my car and ran 3 or 4 miles past the old wooden rollercoaster.

Apparently nobody around me notice the strangers, but I have a feeling that there are some people that I worked with that noticed it too.  

Knowing Lori like I know her now, and some of you too, any friend that was female, gay, male and handsome or someone I didn't like became the inquiry to find out more about them.  Literally, Lori keeps lists of all the people I know.  Since work took up most of my time, my co-workers became her main interest.  Lori just has to know everything about everyone, I am close to.

The thing was that in San Diego, there were no "voices in my head" but I always had the feeling of being watched.  You all know that feeling, but try waking up to it and actually seeing the stalking start with the "beep" of a car horn the second you walked out the door to start your day.  I mean I could count on that horn honk for 5 years...I would get dressed for work, grab my keys, lock my door and ...."honk, honk" every single day, no matter where I moved.  It was obvious enough for me to install pinhole remote cameras in my apartment.  It was eerie.  Mind you I was on my way to work all day in the courtroom of a federal court.  I wasn't headed to the bathhouse to do drugs...it was a 50 plus hour work week where you can't make mistakes.

The oddness of the situation is cemented in handwritten diaries that I kept for years.  Now I'm glad I wrote them, but they weren't unknown to Lori and Brian.  They fully knew that I had an idea that I was being followed...but they continued.  Looking back I probably should have said something to someone at the court, but by the time I was the recipient of a bullet in my car door driving home...it was too late to do that.  I had to correct the drug problem that I was using to cope then go after the people following me.  The order was bad.  Once you seek help for drugs, of my own volition, you can't tell people you are being followed or they will assume "drugs".  It wasn't a good choice then, but much better now.

Also I will add that at that age, 35, I was in terrific shape, I'd just lost a significant but harmless relationship, I was being followed, I'd just been shot at after years of stalking...and all of a sudden even my best friends were trying to film me using drugs.  It was surreal, still is.  I wrote about that in my diaries too.

After realizing the depth of the danger and my position as a CRD for the Justice Department just post 911...I was convinced that the situation was too dangerous for me to put my co-workers in.  These people were everywhere and I knew it.  I resigned my position after going to rehab, but I knew the battle was just beginning.

I was lonely.  Lori just loves that one.  The truth is that there were so many things going on behind my back that there was really no chance of having a relationship with someone near me.  I dated a guy in Arizona, New York and even then that left me feeling worse. 

So it is no secret that once I went to the Ranch, in Desert Hot Springs, I needed to be sober and was.  Here's the first story.  While at the Ranch, I saw a friend of mine who was at Betty Ford.  Scotty is a handsome, smart, child of a wealthy father that was getting sober.  He was a good friend and I liked him.  He came up to the Ranch and we spoke.  I was looking forward to seeing him outside of the Ranch, but I was also starting a new job at The Esmeralda Resort in Indian Wells.  Two DUI's, which we will talk about later, left me without a car so I took a nearly two hour bus ride each way to and from Indian Wells to Palm Springs and back.   It was hard, but the manager at the front desk liked me enough to save the job for me.  I loved her for it.

In the meantime, something odd was happening.  I was sober.  Going to meetings.  Working but at night, something odd would take over.  Now I know it was Lori again.  I didn't know that I was living in a sober home that Lori had seen many times before with other victims of this crime.  I started learning that getting sober was simply another function of Lori's system for drug addicts.  The room that I lived in was occupied by Loren, a good friend of mine, extremely handsome, ex-porn star who became Mr. Leather Palm Springs.  He'd had many problems with Lori and would eventually live in the same complex as my future boyfriend Steven Frey.

Loren was like this:

It was the oddest thing in the world to me, but sober, I started to "see things" when I was relaxed.  These are the kinds of things that you see when someone is transmitting them to you.  Now you need to understand something.  If you see something through your eyes, it's visual.  If you see something through your brain, it's cerebral.  Your brain sees it just like you'd seen it through your eyes...so it creates and image in your mind.  You literally see without your eyes.  I know that's a tough one to grasp, but it is a real thing.  It's like a crystal clear movie with defined shapes and movement.  You literally see it.

I would look out the window in the same room that Loren had been in, but what I could see in the darkness was "sexual".  There was a home next door that literally I could see things happening in the front yard.  I know it wasn't real now, but then, it was the most shocking thing I'd ever experience.  Remember, I'm newly sober and this is tripping me out.  I think I may have written about it, but my friend Reggie told me a story about someone that had emailed him and wanted him to join some kind of sex party where he would go to the Ruth Hardy Park and would be met by someone who would "look him over" then take him to a party were people were having sex.  Like it or not, it fit with the images I was seeing.  Reggie told me that...he isn't someone that lies or uses any substances.  Understandably, I took that in and thought, "This is what is going on next door."  Not a chance in the world that Reg would have made that up or would have said it "for" Lori.

It was about this time that I met a man named Frank Moeritz.  Incredibly handsome guy from Portland or somewhere in Oregon.  He'd moved here from the Pacific Northwest with a boyfriend that I can only categorize as "soap opera lead male".  Both men were extremely handsome and guess what?  My friend Scotty, from Betty Ford, was seeing the boyfriend after the pair broke up.  I became enamored with Frank and Scotty was enamored with his ex.  So here are four men, two of us implanted, two not, and Lori began with the games.

Frank was a house inspector.  I was still working.  Somehow he found out that Scotty was dating his ex.  Frank also knew that I knew Scotty.  Immediately Lori swung into action.  I had both men's phone numbers.  I liked Frank...a lot.

You know what that bitch did?

Intentionally, Scotty started to talk about Frank.  He'd already dated the boyfriend...but now he was interested in the guy that I liked and, as gay will have it, Frank wanted to know all about the new guy in the ex's life.    Frank and Scott worked out at the same gym.  The pair got to know each other, but Lori was directing the whole time with text messages. Until one day I walked into an AA Meeting and one of my friends, or so I thought, walked up to me and asked, "Hey Kevin, who is Frank?"  I said my usual nice things, but his reply was vintage Lori LaFond.  "Well I hope he's nice, he was coming out of Scotty's bedroom this morning!"  Wrecked me!!!  Seriously wrecked me.  It was so bitchy and cold, I couldn't believe my ears.  Scotty, who had no interest in Frank, was all of a sudden sleeping with him.  I was wrecked.  Two friends, instantly gone!  They moved in with each other too.  I knew Scotty though, you don't sleep with him for very long...then it's off to someone new.  Nevertheless, 9 months of really sober, was over.  This is why Lori likes to play "love games" with me.  She thinks it is THE BEST WAY TO GET KEVIN TO USE DRUGS.  At the time, I was vulnerable and it worked.  Now, never again.

The sheer pleasure that the guy had in telling me about Frank in Scott's place was priceless.  It wrecked me for months.  I don't know now why it was such a mind blowing experience, but I guess I thought the betrayal by Scott was too much.  We were very close friends...but when it came to a man, it was over.  Rest assured, in this one, I came out on top.  I did something I wasn't proud of, but, it was well worth the trouble.  It was also one of my first, "This place is fucked" feelings.

So then I was seeing these visions which I now know has to do with "thinking cap" that Lori wears while she is watching porn movies.  I saw everything from an outdoor sex scenario with a man and a woman and a truck to a human sacrifice video that most people know is associated with Lori.  It was terrifyingly odd.  Those people that are inside this investigation will tell you it's a true phenomenon.  You see things, then a few months later, I began hearing the voices for the first time in my life.  Talk about shocking.  I did everything I could to try to understand what was wrong with me in the midst of two terrible boughts with bacterial pneumonia that accompanied the theft of some things from my sober living room where "a girl and her boyfriend came over and stole stuff" according to my then roommate, a friend from the Ranch.

So some girl was coming into my home, meeting my roommate, Kevin, stealing my things, while I'm seeing these visions and hearing voices...it was terrifyingly real.  It was then that I notice my high school basketball uniform was gone, my B52's collection of CD's was stolen, my first edition HP digital camera was gone and so was a robe from the gay men's hotel I worked at.  The Las Palmas robe will come into play later in our story along with all of my work shirts.  Lori is fond of wearing clothing from a gay men's resort.  Remember folks, as soon as Lori stopped by this house, my sanctuary, I got sick from pneumonia and I got my only staph infection of my life up around my shoulder and chest.  Coincidence, not hardly.  I was in the hospital for one week once and again for another week, fighting for my life.  This was about the same time that Jonathan's boyfriend, Jared, was fighting for his life in the hospital.

This is for Bryan Anderson.  Since I was using meth again and I didn't want to do that in the sober living home, I would go to a friend's house that used and sold drugs.  This friend had been jailed for stealing $2 million dollars from the Desert AIDS Project.  Christopher knows him too, John O'Brien.  He was a long time victim of this crime.  He knew "Jessica" and hated the thought of her.  That's when I first heard the urban legend with a name..."Jessica".

While staying at John O'Brien's another weird thing happened.  A man that I'd known in San Diego with an underwood devil tattooed to his hip, came over to John's house.  I knew him to be nice to me, but a problem for everyone else.  As soon as he showed up, I left for another friend's home, Bret Sims.  I worked with Bret and his boyfriend Tim cleaning vacation rentals.   All three of us were good friends, but dark times had been befalling Tim.  He was using needles which was unacceptable by his boyfriend Brett.  The oddest thing was that when I showed up to talk to my friend, there was the "underwood devil" guy, I'd just left.  It was like he was following me there, but he got there first.  Bret was enamored of this guy, but I knew him to be a problem.  I told Brett that he was a problem.  I warned him.  Tim was leary of him.

The next thing I knew, I heard that Tim killed himself because of what Brett told me was a "hot needle" full of drugs that made Tim go crazy.  Tim may have been using needles before, but he could usually keep it together.  Once the "underwood devil" brought him a needle of bad dope, Tim freaked out.  Ran into a converted garage/living room. Locked the door so you couldn't get in.  Tied a rope around the ceiling, and hung himself while Bret stood outside the door, looking in the plexiglass window that couldn't be broken, and watched his multi year boyfriend hang himself to death. It was harrowing.  As the story goes, Tim left a note, but the needle in question was "delivered to him" by someone that was following me around.  This is another example of what Palm Springs is like when you are being followed.  For proof of this police need to find volumes of porn discs for Falcon videos with Bret Simms name on them.  He was an avid collector and porn actor himself.  He kept them in organized binders.  If police find these collections with his name on them in Lori's possession, you can bet this ties to Bret Sims.  Following that Bret had a home invasion where he was put on the floor, execution style until he opened his home safe.

Was Lori clearing the way to have Bret in that home alone?  I know that at that time she was living in an abandoned home on Racquet Club and Sunrise a stone's throw from Brett's house.  The story was that the robbers told Brett, "This is our territory and if you want to sell drugs in this area, you are going to have to pay us!"  This is one of the themes of Lori's organized crime.

So story number one is all about how "friends" of Lori's, are used to create deadly situations for other victims of Lori's hate.  One woman and her brother calling all the shots and even sending a shot over to create the drama of suicide, to clear a home so that it can be robbed.  It's vintage Lori LaFond.  Sticking her big fat drug addict nose into everyone else's business.  Me showing up there earned me the nickname, "The Hardest Working Man in Show Business".  This, I take to mean, I was always there when the problem she created exploded...so Lori could have a front row seat with pizza stuffing her fat face.

Then I started looking at the situation logically.  I started seeing some of the people that I knew having other boyfriends that hung themselves.  I saw a definite link between Lori, Hot Desert Knights, gay porn and the relationships that these men had with other people.  Lori was obsessed with all things gay porn, drugs and how she could manipulate the players into death traps.  It's highly emotional to watch and completely foreseeable for anyone that is looking with a scrutinizing eye.

In the meantime other people I knew were going through their own dramas.  James Romeo, Ricky, Ms. Barrett, Luis and his partners, John O'Brien...so many men involved in so much real life drama everywhere I looked.  Eventually I moved in with Chuck Cheeld while I took a job at Two Bunch Palms.  There I made a mistake.  I introduced Ted Currall a longtime friend of mine from San Diego and huge porn industry legend, Sebastian, a beautiful man that vacationed with his boyfriend in Palm Springs and Luis, a really great looking guy whom I felt a kinship too for some reason.  There I would meet Johnny Hazard, another porn legend and throwback hippie.  So Lori really was going bonkers jealous and here I was introducing my friends to people that they liked, admired and had seen on film.  Why wouldn't I introduce these men to Lori?

First of all Lori is the "Evil Jessica" and I knew it.  The last thing you ever want to do is make the mistake of introducing Lori to anyone.  The next worst mistake is introducing these people to anyone she is watching...there are so many of these people that it is best not to introduce anyone to anyone, but that really isn't my nature.  I like good people to know good people.  It makes for a much safer environment.  Then I got was able to move into a camper shell on a property away from Chuck's, but on my way to my new place, walking home, I was stopped by two officers and had a gun pointed at my face.  Here I was again, not saying anything about what I'd observed, and a gun came into play.   This fucks with the mind of anyone who has been the victim of gun violence...and Lori knew it.  Mind fucking is all it is.

I saw so many of my friends, Rocky, Bart, John O'Brien and others fall victim to the same thing.  Lori LaFond.  It got to the point where, as I was observing, I was also testing Lori.  If I wanted to find out if Lori was still busting people using this system, I couldn't go to the dealer's home.  I would have someone else do it for me.  Yet again, Lori would follow that person and bust the dealer.  It was like clockwork and remember, I'd already seen my friend Larry gunned down in the Big 5 parking lot on a day that I was suppose to be with him.  Lori knew that too...and set him up.  You should all understand something too.  I have a great reputation with these men in these horrible situations.  Most of them could do nothing else but sell drugs because of the crimes Lori created for them.  For example, John O'Brien stole $2 million from the Desert AIDS Project is what the news said.  What the truth is, is much different.

John was the CFO of the DAP.  As an implanted man and AA member, John was a very lucrative victim for Lori to have.  He knew the DAP finances and was charged with being the guy that knew the bank accounts and numbers.  So if Lori wanted to steal this money, all she had to do was look at John's thinking.  She could set up a fake bank account, move the money and John knew nothing about it.  Once the DAP saw the missing money, probably reported by John, he looked guilty.  There isn't any way to explain that, is there?  It's simple.  Lori knows the DAP bank account and knows how to move money.  A simple fake id and her brother could set up accounts that the money could be moved to.  One call to the police and Lori's captured another "thief", but John was no thief.

He went to prison for it, but the money or at least most of it, was returned.

Once I met John, I couldn't match up the person I knew with that crime.  Everyone knew about it.  Here is an example of not being able to work after Lori screws you so you end up selling dope.  I hope you all understand that.  It was a job born out of survival.

So that's before Christopher...afterwards is easy to explain.

It's a blessing to love Christopher, but a curse for any relationship to feel that kind of emotion when Lori wants you gone.  Every single minute of every single day is spent with her plotting and planning another hijacking of a person's live.  The police, as you well know, do all the real dirty work for her.  She soils the target's reputation then creates a crime so that they will arrest him.  There is no doubt that Christopher took a huge punishment for loving me.  I did the same.  If I love someone for real, Lori goes fucking green rage monster on me and the person.  She simply has to destroy that relationship in the worst possible way she can think of, but she wants the credit for it too.  Time after time you see her e-thumping her chest after she has someone arrested.  She is literally an ape when this happens.

Though I was living in Hesperia, a long way from Palm Springs, Lori was still in full psycho bitch mode after learning about the results from the REAL DNA report.  I missed Christopher with an ache in my stomach that would never go away.  The kind of love that keeps you from sleeping at night and breathing during the day.  I literally could not stop thinking about what she would do to him if I didn't protect him.  I tried everything to get Steven Frey to talk about Lori, but he was still in fear of the police.  There were non-arrest related plans that I put into motion that would have left Steven proud that I'd been an informant against him too.  I wanted him safe and I wanted him to know that our trust in one another was still real even if we weren't together as friends.  I would never hurt Steven Frey.  Never.  I knew by then what this was all about, drugs.  I knew Steven was honest and sweet to everyone, but Lori hated him.  I knew that if I didn't save Christopher it would be life ending for him.  It's like that in Palm Springs.

So if I wanted to know about "Jessica" I decided the smartest route was to announce to everyone that I did not ever want to meet her.  Nothing draws a moth to a flame faster than telling a sociopath, you don't want to meet them.   To my surprise, Lori glommed on to that with a vengeance, but she had one problem, her latest boyfriend, Mikey.  I don't know him.  I love his style.  I love his intuition and frankly, I love his honesty...he did something that told me I was on the right path.  He talked to Steven Frey after a break in at his apartment, when Lori and Junior shaved off his eyebrows, and said that he knew someone was blaming him for stealing stuff from Steve.  He wanted no part of it either.  He, like a respectable man, went to Steven, who Steve didn't know, and told him, man to man, I did not do this to you.  I instantly became a fan.  He didn't like Jessica and the bullshit rumor that they were a couple is exactly what Lori does now to my best friends, she calls them "boyfriends".

For all of you Palm Springs victims, Mikey was not, is not and never was, Lori LaFond as "Jessica", her boyfriend.  She was his fag hag that he could not get rid of.  Nothing more.  That surprised me then, but not at all now.  Mikey was just another gay man that Lori implanted and used.  If you are out there Mikey, thumbs up for having class.  When you want to tell your story with Lori, I will do anything to have my prosecutor friends protect you to the fullest extent of the law.  I mean it.  You know when I promise something I deliver.

The now example is simple.  She's trying to do a job on Christopher and me and yes, he does live back east right now, but I know him.  If given the chance to catch Lori and Brian, he's going to be a bulldog.  He's smart, articulate, been through it all and you know he's heard from Lori about me ever since he met me.  You know that bitch can't shut her mouth for anything...and man does she want to talk to Christopher's sister something fierce.  I absolutely love it.  Nothing says, "I'm Lisa," more than Lori calling a sister and talking shit about me.

I know what it is like on my end.  So on Christopher's end of this it must be excruciatingly difficult to handle.  Here's a guy that came to California to live a dream, ran into the urban legend's knife and then met the person that despises her the very most and vice versa.  Don't you want to be him?  No way!  I don't blame him either.   I tried to use this blog as a shield for him, in a way, I think it worked very well.  In another way, it was a curse that I'll be making up to him for the rest of my life.

The second story is just that, the maintenance of distance between the two men that signed up with the police to stop Lori, though I don't know how much of that Christopher understood.  I know he gets it now though.  I need him as much as he and his family need me.  As friends or whatever, Christopher and I are stronger than most people.  He's the tough guy, I'm the smart guy and together we make a formidable opponent for Lori's meddling.  She wants to get involved with two people that love God and each other, then she's going to go down in big fat flames.  She will never be able to do what she use to.   I would caution all of her friends right now, I'm setting you up Dave, Missy, Christian and Leah.  I've got you and I know how to manipulate Lori with my thoughts.