Remember those nights Anthony? Those nights when Laurie and Brian did way too much meth and started in on you? Then the story started. You went to bed at 11:00pm but before you knew it, it was 5:30am and you'd listened to Laurie and Brian lie to you for hours and hours about nothing in particular? How many of us have laid in bed listening to the ramblings of this brother and sister tweeking out for days and days at a time with nothing to say at all? I've done it, you've done it and so have so many others. There must me hundred of us out there that have heard these horrible stories about our lives. They take bits and pieces of our hearts, our families, our friends, blend them together with as much pain and heartache as they can and pour them into our brains to see just how much they can hurt us. Isn't that just what you want to hear from the brother and sister that raped you and gave you HIV? Sickening.
There isn't a beautiful experience in my life that hasn't been destroyed somewhere along the line by Laurie or Brian or both. I've had sobriety, spiritual awakenings, child births, weddings, church prayers, deaths, heart attacks, hospital visits...you name it, I've had every kind of emotional experience ruined by Laurie and her brother. They couldn't leaver their hands off of my mind if they tried. There isn't a single positive memory that I try to remember that the pair hasn't ruined for me. Every place I go, everywhere my mind tries to escape to for peace, every spiritual experience, stained by the siblings that like to invade the peacefulness of human harmony. You see Laurie wants chaos, and she is going to have it. She wants you to think about her in every single situation. I think she believe that you are in love with her if she forces herself upon you like this. It's like a bad smell from your garbage can that you can't get out of your house. It just lingers there.
She watches Missy and her insincere apologetic manipulations of her own family and sees that it works with other people and breaks into that when she feels that it might garner her the kind of sympathy that Missy gets. It's just artificial sweetner...so cancerous and too sweet for the tongue to take. "I'm so sorry..." from Laurie's mouth is followed by ("did they buy that"?) in her thoughts immediately afterwards. Missy is seldom sorry. "I'm sorry, but I'll do it again tomorrow" is not an apology. Laurie is never "sorry" for anything; she'll tell you it means that "she did something wrong", like Arthur Fonzerelli on Happy Days...Laurie's favorite television character (because he snaps his fingers and 'chick came running' (that's not too lesbian is it)).
The disease of HIV/AIDS began as a disease of fear and silence which is very similar to the disease of electronic harassment/cause stalking. I liken this crime to a disease because of what it becomes with the human condition. It begins with a voyeuristic view of humanity and takes you in one or two directions. You either get extremely bored with it or you become fascinated by it. Those that get fascinated by it tend to go to a very dark place.
I remember when I first bought a computer and webcams were the newest things. There was guy that broad cast from his home, live images from his life on 15 second snapshots from his apartment. I thought it to be fascinating. His name was "Puppy" and his boyfriend was "Lizard". I can remember thinking, "How interesting that someone would just anonymously show how he lived by broadcasting his whole life through fifteen second snapshots of his home." By today's standards, not very interesting. Boring in fact, but I still turned his website on every night when I got home and it was like having some friend there when I got home from work. Weird stuff huh? After a while, I got bored and didn't watch any more but I could see the beginning of the world of live streaming taking off. Of course now it's turned into porn and home security and things like that. For me Puppycam was a way to escape the people that were stalking me outside. He was someone that didn't know people were following me. He was a "friend" that I didn't know, of course, but I could see one thing...the beginning of how people were going to live their lives on the internet. Then came social media and so forth. Now, it's become electronic harassment, even though it was happening without me knowing it. His whole site was for people to watch him. Now I wouldn't want that at all.
Voyeurism has gone so far as to know what a person is thinking. That's way too far. Knowing what a person is thinking is a human trait for humans to work out and communicate through thoughts and words. We aren't space aliens. We are humans. We speak. We write. We sing. We dance. We express. We emote. These are human traits. If I could simply think to you a beautiful art piece, why paint it? If I could sing you a song in your mind, why play it on a piano? If I could tell you a story in your mind why write a book? This is all so convenient that it takes away from a human being's experience...that takes away from humanity. We become less human. Expressionless. Less creative. Less loving. Less caring about one another. This is why people stalk each other with hateful expressions on their faces. They don't care about you as a human being, they want something from you. They want to elicit a fearful thought. If they can, someone has done something to you. Voyeurism has to do with watching, not getting involved. That isn't voyeurism any longer, it's committing a crime. Getting involved in the outcome of another person's life without their knowledge or consent, is a crime. A rapist does this. They force themselves into your body without your consent. A burglar forces himself into your home. These experiences alter your life. They take from you without your consent and cause damage on many levels.
One of the most important ways that we communicate with one another is through spoken word. We speak. When we are told not to speak, we think about why? Then we speak to ourselves about why we aren't speaking. If it is important enough we tell someone about it and tell them not to speak about it. If it is more important than that we tell a priest or a lawyer and they keep it confidential. If it becomes so important we can keep it to ourselves we speak out. It is a communication that becomes outspoken that is often tried to be silenced. Sometimes they are popular and often they are not. One of the greatest things that our forefathers thought of was the freedom to speak. Nobody has the right to tell you that you can't speak. You have the right to talk about whatever you want, but not to threaten someone else. Your ideas, your beliefs, your feelings, your emotions, your knowledge, your singleness of thought is protected. There isn't a single person in this country that can tell you that you can't talk about something. You just can't threaten someone else or their family or friends.
This is a crime, electronic harassment. When you are a victim of this crime from our area it comes with the added bonus of HIV infection unfortunately. For anyone to tell you not to say something about it is seriously not a good thing. Anyone that would tell you that you shouldn't say something about being raped, having something shoved inside of your head, given HIV, and stalked has either a connection with this crime or doesn't believe you. I believe you. One thing that I never liked or thought that I would be the advocate for are "people hearing voices in their heads". I'll be honest here, I made fun of them. Now, I'm being paid back for that insensitivity. I am one of them, I always was. At least since I was 19 years old. It's odd too, because when Stephen Hawking thinks something, translates it to a computer and the computer talks for him it's genius, but when I say it's happening, I'm crazy. Why is he a genius and I'm not? Because he's Stephen Hawking? Even he will tell you that this isn't something special. He will tell you that this wireless capability has been there for decades, he's used it and that it is now available to criminals is NOT a surprise.
When Prince William and Prince Harry were going to be microchipped for safety concerns, nobody batted an eyebrow. When 650 plus gay men started hearing voices in their heads and started being followed around by cars of strangers with Crystal Chevrolet license plate frames, they were all gay men on meth with HIV. It's ridiculous how marginalized some people can be. There is a problem though and it has to do with the HIV. When these men all start showing that they are infected by a female and it is all the same one...they are all gay, they don't know her, they didn't have sex with her and she's the one that talks to the police, then we have a huge problem. We have a suspect. When she starts getting looked at for rape cases and the cases start getting "special treatment" like "there's nothing that we can do for you" from the police, then we have a hate crime. You see this is called targeting. Using the gay community to gain advancement in your career and funding for your police department is throwing away lives for money. That is something that you should speak about. My life is worth more than a police car. It's worth more than a police chief's salary or his home. My life is more precious to me than anything I can think of.
You see when it comes to being silent about my own life, nobody has the right to tell me to shut up about it. If you try to throw me in jail for it, I will get louder. If you put me in jail for getting louder, my attorney will get louder. If you hurt my family for getting louder, you will go to jail for it. If you go to jail for it, I will get even louder. I will get so loud that eventually you won't want to tell me to shut up about it because I'll scream about it in your face. You don't tell me about how to live my life. You don't try to take my free speech from me without me telling people that I won't allow you to do it. You see, the voiceless victim of a crime is re-victimized by silence. The voiceless victim of a crime is the person that has to be heard, even the courts recognize what that means to the injured person. It is their right! So the next time someone expect you to be silent when you want to speak up, GET LOUDER, then GET LOUDER AGAIN! If you are a victim of a crime, you don't have to be silenced by the police, the police chief, the district attorney or the commissioner that continues to try to take your voice. There are many attorneys outside of the Coachella Valley that will look at what is here and be violently sick. I know them well. This is a broken system with all kinds of holes in it that gay men fall into every single time.
Your silence is what they expect. It's straight up thug justice...you are part of a judicial railroad system that drops the gays off at Auschwitz and takes the rest of the defendants to the rest of the prison system.
