After some careful review of some photographs, allegedly showing Laurie with a Louisville Slugger, whom she calls her "boyfriend Louis" or her "girlfriend Louise" and another series with a huge orange safety cone, my expert analysts, David, David and David have determined that Laurie is likely in need of this, the first artificial sphincter controller, in the future as she ages.
It would appear that Laurie is a "Huge Asshole" for more reasons than I thought. Ouch!
With this, she can finally sit on a bar stool the proper way, instead of turning it upside down, and tell you that tired old joke she tells about gay men all the time. Har-dee-har-har Laurie. Make sure you push your stool in afterwards like a lady, bottoms up!
