Have you heard her lately? Laurie has taken to the microphone recently to try to sleep deprive me and she's using her world famous "Devil May Care" Attitude to do it. Always a classic, this one is when she is so much better than you that she can barely stand to talk to "someone like you". She's just so much better...and..."I don't care" what (insert name here) says I can't do, I'm going to do it anyway."
Whatever you tell her "not to do", she'll do it...and if you don't protest she'll do it anyway. It is my understanding that restraining orders are being sought to keep her from contacting anyone in my family ever again...in any way...forever. This would mean she couldn't talk to anyone about hurting me...or whatever she's nicknamed me for the week...usually "asshole", "sonofabitch" or "that motherfu*ker"...or something really stupid like "Steven's sister" or "Steven's family". Laurie has a tendency to think that she's living in the past..today she said that she's like the Sarah Hyland character "Haylie" on television's "Modern Family". Huh? Since when did Laurie get pretty? And since when does a 50 year old woman think that she's a 20 year old character on television.
I can assure you, she's nothing like that. She's more of a Patty or a Selma from the Simpsons...and the other one reminds me of her aunt. Actually her aunt is a very nice person, but she does tend to gossip a bit about things that she shouldn't...she's always been nice to me though. A stark contrast to her niece whom has never been anything but terrible, and proud of it, to me.
So while Laurie spends the next day or so looking into the in's and out's of an restraining order for several police informants that she has been harassing...everyone should be aware that in a few minutes after realizing that it means, "stay away from me and my family, Christopher and my friends...and the witnesses that I contact..." she will crumple it up, throw it at her brother and say, "devil may care, I'll do whatever I want" and she'll return to being a stalker of the mind and body hoping for her next big "moment".
