"Gratitudinal"
My friends laugh at me because I make up words like this...Christopher thinks it's California...it's really just me. It's like gratitude with an attitude...whoa, I just looked it up and Gratitudinal is an actual word...so let's hear it for Webster. He must have been from California!
I've said it before, but it bears repeating, I am extremely grateful to still be alive and in a position to help most people. There is a problem however with Laurie and fakes. I get calls all the time from people that would detract from this project. I just got an email today from someone, that looks extremely suspicious. (I get about fifty a day) Without getting into it, one thing I forgot to mention is the lack of support that targets get from the media. While the operators of this kind of neural network with brain computer interfaces get all kinds of help from the psychological community, media and conservatives, the victims get very little from people that should speak out.
I guess what I am trying to say here is that the operators of this system would do anything they could to take from these kinds of projects...even pretending to be a victim. They've sent me phone numbers to call them on, fake emails, text messages and some have even wanted to meet me in person...I'm kind of leery about that kind of thing now. The last two people I met in person about this project, ended up stealing a password disc and handing it to Laurie. Never again. I don't let anyone in on this project that doesn't deserve my help and I'm certainly not going to waste my time on anyone that thinks they are going to take more from these victims....even if that means me. I love advocating for my friends and for the gay community of Palm Springs...which is why this project is unique. It's a localized investigation authorized by our own police department...as Christopher and myself are both informants.
This blog isn't a place for me to advertise Laurie and Brian's agenda...it is a place to expose it. The information that I provide to the public that wants to see it comes from a variety of places, but one thing most of you should know is that it really centers on me, my life and my relationships with other people. The crime really grew out of that...and for that I am so sorry. I had nothing to do with what was going on, but every single acquaintance, relationship, friendship and co-worker eventually became fodder for the crime of electronic harassment in some way, shape or form. That is a tremendous amount of pressure to put on a guy.
I told my team the other day that part of what I really want to do is apologize to the people that my life affected because of what Laurie and Brian did to me...talk about awkward! Have you ever been part of a butterfly effect and didn't even know it? It isn't a pleasant thing to realize after 30 years...especially when the criminals were doing some of the most despicable things you can imagine and trying to blame me for them. I usually don't have to flirt, I just let my awkwardness do the attracting.
I'm just one of those kinds of people that feels responsible for everything...I know it's a character flaw, but it's a good one when you are trying to help like I am. If something is going wrong in my world and I don't try to help fix it, then I am part of the problem...when my friends' lives started to spiral out of control and I thought it looked suspicious, I started to write about it, research it, talk about it...and then I decided to act. My friends were mostly quiet about it though...I had to research and show them I cared. That's just me.
So if you are out there planning on wasting my time and the time that this project devotes to the victims in Palm Springs, save your email...I don't need it. I have plenty of people out here that do need my help and this is a local project that we hope to help on a national level. I think that although some electronic harassment sites are very helpful and well intended, that they are too broad for many to be able to use. People like practical information with proof...that's what I try to do with humor and fact. If you find it awkward, that's cool, then you are getting to know me.
Be not afraid, I am here to help you...if I can.
