You see this? This is what a night at home trying to fall asleep with Laurie using remote neural monitoring to talk to you all night long. If you are a gay man, this is your version of Hell...and if you are the guy underneath this woman, all you are thinking is how can you possibly get away from her.
I can't tell you how many nights I've lain awake trying to convince Laurie that I am not the least bit interested in her sexual commentary about how "wonderful she is" and how I will have to succumb to her will or be thrown in jail again. I often describe this as the "worst case scenario" for any gay man. For me it is even worse. The woman at the other end of the microphone connected to my RFID tag is one of the worst possible people that I know; probably THE worst. To know her is to not want to know her. To meet her is like walking through a muddy swamp and wanting to take three showers to wash all the Laurie off.
Thinking that she has the same kind of access to my friends and especially my boyfriend Christopher is even worse. No gay man wants to think of his boyfriend as being bullied by a girl that has followed and stalked me for decades. I think that the worst part of all of this is knowing that it would happen the minute I realized that Christopher was also being stalked by the same woman. The silver lining for all of us is that it sparked this project to the level of success that it has achieved.
Looking back now, I realize that I made all the right calls when it came to Christopher's family. Almost immediately I told Mrs. Monti that both he and I were being stalked by a really sick girl that neither of us knew but both of us had heard from. Have you ever tried to impress a mother of a boyfriend with a story about electronic surveillance, drugs, police corruption and sobriety without sounding like you were crazy? You have to take it very slowly and hope that Laurie wouldn't do what you knew she would...cause enough problems for Christopher that I would be believed, but not so many that he would be hurt. It's the worst of the worst case scenarios...to love someone enough to try is the gift of being me.
I had to trust that Christopher's relationship with his mom and sister was as strong or even stronger than mine. What I heard in their voices, all the way from New York, was so similar to what my own mom and sister have sounded like, that I knew, right away, that I had to do something extraordinary. I had to save another man's life. I already failed once with Steven Frey...so this time I had to make decisions that wouldn't echo what I did before. I had to change everything about how I approached this situation. I had to be better. I had to get smarter. I had to save Christopher from Laurie.
Big problem in that from the first time I saw him. Laurie and Brian are extremely jealous when it comes to me. They honestly believe that I am, after twenty-eight years, somehow, their property. After years of fucking with Steven and myself together, instead of separately, that feeling was stronger than ever. Once I made the decision to walk away from that bad relationship with Steven's lying, Christopher was so hard to resist helping. The smart choice, for me, with all of the arrests I suffered, would have been to walk away...it would have seemed. The one thing that kept that from happening was knowing what kind of person that I truly am. I had, for months, told myself that, even after all of the San Diego problems, I was still the terrific person deep inside of myself, that I always was. Nothing had changed. Walking away from another person's bad situation with Laurie wasn't how I was raised...so I didn't. Christopher was new to town and I wanted to be his friend.
His sexual assault and implantation was recent when I met him. I was in the middle of my own sexual assault investigation...I knew the two were related...it seemed like I could help him. I had some terrible experiences and learned what not to do. I decided that the safest thing to protect him was to bring him in front of Bryan Anderson. Police informant was the only option that I saw, though now I realize that there are others.
Knowing what I'd already seen with Steven, Jonathan and myself, I knew that the sexual control over Christopher would become her number one option if I was no longer living in Palm Springs. With that, I had him perform the informant work then shipped him off to The Ranch which, I personally got involved with. I called the Ranch and made sure that he would be welcomed there and told Christopher that they would be waiting for him. Laurie immediately could not tolerate that option and tried to lure Christopher into a position not to reach his destination. Christopher was already warned about going into that La Palme complex and he walked the twenty or so miles to The Ranch on his own. I would have driven him there, but at the same time Brian, Laurie's brother, was busy destroying my car. I couldn't drive Christopher because the car broke down and I ended up stranded in Palm Springs for another week while Chris enrolled at the Ranch.
Knowing that Christopher was at The Ranch in Desert Hot Springs was good for me for two full months which is when I decided that I would start the HateLisa Project and eventually that grew into this blog. I pretty much expected Laurie to fill Christopher's head with as many lies as possible about me and then she contacted the Ranch to tell them that I was a "drug dealer" or "using drugs" and the reality was that I was sober long before all of that. The postering and flyers in Palm Springs were my effort to let Christopher know that I was working on this project like I told his mom. That meant I had to put posters everywhere...I didn't know where Christopher would be coming out of the Ranch so I put them up all over town. Big ones, small ones, little ones....chalk on the sidewalk ones...anywhere he would be.
Once Laurie has a chance to cut off communications between people, you have to go public and go very big. A blog was the perfect place to get information about this crime without Laurie's input. Just the facts and the stories I collected along the way.
The campaign to "Save Christopher" was on...and then I started working with Anthony Dabiere passing out flyers at the street fair on Thursdays...
The project then began to focus on where it could do the most good. The victims already know what they are being put through, it's really the parents that need to believe them. I never really had that with my mom and dad until Dr. John Hall got ahold of me with his book, "A New Breed: Satellite Terrorism in America". That book really changed the whole scope of my understanding. I remain very friendly with Dr. Hall and have appeared on his behalf on the radio for him. He's really credited with a great deal of my understanding. The rest came from the U.C. Riverside library where "the Frey effect" was studied in depth...microwave hearing and Dr. Ross Adey are synonymous with that University that I am proud is my alma mater.
So while Laurie was talking sex, I was beefing up my mind.
It is hard to explain what it is like to have a body that is prepared to fight but a mind that is too exhausted to make that body work. I sleep tons of hours in a body that was infected intentionally with HIV...it's a lot of work. I also work overnights so when I am home, I am pretty much tapped of mental energy. The rest of the time that I am there, Laurie acts like I am paying attention to only her...so her constant drugged out sex talking is every second of down time for me...while I sleep she talks and tries to guide my dreams into the sickest of her fantasy worlds.
I have said this before and will say it again to all of you. Ask your gay friends if this is true. When they dream, they "dream in gay". They don't all of a sudden start dreaming about sex with women, sick dysfunctional sexual relationships with ugly people or sexual sadism...they dream about their friends or attractions, not the dark side of ugly that Laurie goes to. You can tell that these dreams are forced upon you...they are not restful like REM sleep is...they are just after you close your eyes and barely get into the first stage of sleep....this is the area where hypnotists work...and if you can't get into REM, you don't get rest. I am constantly tired and can usually muster about 13 hours a day of awake time without getting irritated.
Police officers working under these same conditions are unsafe. They are tired, irritated, suggestable and not aware that what she has done to them is basically subconsciously tell them how they will behave. Perhaps this is why Kelly Fieux acted so stupidly. Maybe this is why they blurt out the stupid things that Laurie tells them to without thinking about what they are saying first. Who knows? All I know is that before I go to sleep I consciously tell myself that I can not be suggested to and I can not be hypnotized...telling yourself consciously that you are not suggestable renders a person "unsuggestable". Any good hypnotist will tell you that a subject unwilling to be put under can't be. Try it.
I succeed where Laurie fails because I don't focus on the sex or the drugs. I stick to the facts and try very hard to keep my feelings for Christopher from getting in the way of my job. The job of caring about a person sometimes involves making unilateral decision that are good for the both of us. Christopher is really good at this part...it really helps that he is a patient man. The worst parts would be when he would get himself or one of my friends would get themselves into trouble with the police department. The job then takes on the role of my former job as a courtroom clerk finding out whom the arresting officer was, what the crime scene was like, whom reported the crime, whom the judge was assigned to the case, what fucked up thing the commissioner did this time and how to go about disproving it. It's not easy keeping my friends out of trouble with a police department that does little to no investigation. They just don't do the work I do.
When I would see Christopher I would hand him a list of his cases and what was going on with them and I kept files on Andthony's and Jonathan's cases to hand to them too. Knowing the hinky nature of what I was seeing in all of them provides a thread through each that quilts together a puzzle that the pieces are now fitting together nicely. I also kept a file for Steven Frey and other victims as well. You won't believe the disparity of sentences received by some men that Laurie calls friends that get a slap on the wrist for a brutal assault and the men that go to jail for the weirdest of circumstances. In Anthony's case, linked to Steven Frey, the lead defendant completely disappeared...no joke...like a ghost, he just isn't there anymore. The only place I ever saw his name again was on Steven Frey's fake facebook page...hmmmmm? (James Connelley) I do, however, for police to understand, have a stack more of those mysterious text messages that I got from the exact same time that I got the "Peter is taking me on vacation" text from James Connelley. It was as if Laurie was working on two frauds at once, telling me the whole Anthony story before I even met him.
I guess what I am trying to get across here is that while she is trying her best to force a Fat Girl Lap Dance on a Gay Man...I'm usually a million miles away working on something much more tangible for a prosecution than a big titty in my face!
