I am constantly amazed at how people don't quite understand the severity of the situation that my end of electronic harassment in this area is. The crime itself, for victims is horrible enough in our area. Most experience a rape and HIV infection. You can imagine that is a huge game changer. A lot are using drugs at the time and are given criminal records, some go to jail, a few end up in prison because of the operator's relationship with the Palm Springs Police Department and spying on our community. It's a horrible life. Many can't find jobs. Lots of us end up living together or moving out of the area all together.
For me, it is a much different thing. Think of me as the "original" mother fucker...lol. I'm like the test case. I'm Laurie's poster child for what she thinks is a good idea. If you fuck with someone for their whole life you can know everything about them and keep them in check sort of thing. Everyone around them can be used...so on and so forth. This is why, my success can't happen or she looks like she and her brother have failed. If I do something successful, then Brian and Laurie haven't done their job of destroying my life. That isn't the goal of electronic harassment. The goal is to destroy a target, not watch them succeed. Your reputation as an operator is based on how much trouble you can cause a target...becoming a U.S. Department of Justice agent wasn't exactly a failure, so I had to be eliminated. That's what really looked bad. So I was taken down.
This isn't a joke to me. This is a real life or death situation for me. I haven't known peace for forty years. That's a really long time. You don't know the sacrifices that I've had to make. All through high school I had to be cautious. I couldn't do the things that the other kids did because it was too dangerous for me because of this girl. She was using drugs, even then, to have the most dangerous boys she could find, and probably her own brother, ready to hurt me badly, if they could find me. I'm sure my friends Karen, Kelly and Rob would attest to that. I'm sure that even some of the guys that she contacted would say it too. I literally wouldn't go out with my friends because of it.
I was confronted in the middle of basketball games by people. I was confronted at school. I was confronted after school by people. I was confronted in other towns by people. I was constantly being found by her "friends that used drugs" elsewhere and confronted even after she'd graduated from high school. I never had peace. I don't know what provoked it, it was something that she had with my sister I've been told, but it was never focused on her, it was focused on me. It was violent and it was more than just a fight...it was meant to be ultra violent.
In college it became group stalking and my comfort level was assisted by the HIV infection that I got without having sex or using drugs. So I was being followed and had to deal with the killer virus...it was horrible. My parents dreams about me were dashed...so I was a disappointment then and still am.
The achievement thing has always been big for them...it never could happen without making this whole experiment bad for Laurie and Brian. So my parents have always had to have had a bad image of me. And so they have. When I was muscular and working out in San Diego, Laurie was telling everyone that I was using drugs and addicted to meth. The whole image that my sister and parents have didn't match anything that anyone that knew me there had...nothing. The pictures and my friends will show all of you what I was like. I'm nothing like that. It was a character assassination for the sake of what was to come.
I've never been able to be the good guy that I am. Never. I've never been able to be smart like I am. Kind like I am. Funny like I am. Nothing. The only people that really know this are the operators that see it everyday, my friends that desert me and my boyfriends that Laurie destroys. It's really kind of ridiculous for me.
I've never been happy my whole life. How could I be. The same person has been trying to kill me my whole life. I wake up every single day with someone trying to kill me. I have been trying for decades just to be myself and let my parents know that what they believe is a total sham and all I get are cops that lie, parents that lie, friends that lie and boyfriends that lie. Nobody wants me to be who I am. It's really sad.
You just don't seem to understand. I did this honestly.
