Morally Conscious

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VLOG cam: I like to record messages to our viewers to watch here. If there is something pressing I want you to know, watch here and you will see the latest message recorded from me!

Today's theme:
Boy did I make Lori mad today...all I had to do was talk about how much I love Christopher to someone from my work! It was like a shockwave delivered to the heart of my stalker. Lori must have some kind of weird thoughts going through her pin head tonight because she is twirling around like Linda Blair's head on a possession victim. What kind of lesbian is in love with a gay man to the point where she freaks out when he talks about his own boyfriend? Lori has some issues with reality and not knowing what it is. I know that Christopher must just cringe when she starts hearing that I don't have any kind of feelings for this high school loser! She's using yearbooks from Junior High School and high school to make up fantasies about some life she never had. I'm considering locking myself in my home again and not coming out. Total Single White Lesbian Female material. Calm down Lori, you've been dumped before...
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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

What Do You Do When You Don't Have A Dream Any More?

Well he did it.  I don't have a dream any more.  Like, seriously, I don't have any goals or anything.  I'm 49 and my goal was to redeem myself where I use to work by explaining to them why I left and showing them something amazing about how loyal I was to them with what I did with an amazing investigation that protected them from domestic terrorism.  Instead, I didn't even get an interview for a job that I was highly qualified for? A former friend of mine is in charge of the whole entire court clerk's office and he didn't even bother to interview me...we use to carpool together.  I took care of his house when he and his wife were on vacation.  We use to golf with my dad.  I didn't even get an interview.  14 years of work and I didn't even get an interview.

Friendship officially over.

People kept telling me that I needed to work past my issues with Jeffrey and strike out on my own, do something different, so I applied for that job.  What do ya know, he called and got me thrown out of the whole process before I even got to the interviews.  He called my friend and had me eliminated before I even had a chance.  I spent six weeks hoping to go back to the job I loved more than any other in the world and Jeffrey knew that I was never going to get it.  My mom and dad were finally excited for me.  I was excited.

Now I'm without a dream.  I'm unemployed.  On food stamps.  No hope.  My friends have deserted me completely and it's basically over because of Bryan Anderson and his fucked up police department...and all the shit Benjamin's parents caused when we had this whole investigation just inches from being finished.  Benjamin could not have screwed this up worse if he tried to.  At first he had the situation perfectly handled but as soon as he started hiring people from the outside he blew it.  He couldn't manage the team and the team took over...he didn't have control and then his mother and father derailed the entire investigation and criminalize the entire thing.  Their involvement couldn't have been more destructive or harmful.  Not one positive thing has come from Marilyn or Jeffrey's involvement...nothing.  You can't name a single thing. 9 1/2 years and they received more evidence of the crime at their home and delivered nothing for anyone else at all.  Not one single drop of evidence was gathered.  They spent not one thin dime on anything.

I lost my SSDI disability last year...I've been unemployed since March of 2016 when I stopped working because of my disability and I needed to work full time on this case because Jeffrey's team hadn't done anything in six full years.  Since Sedona, Laurie and Brian had been fugitives for six years while Jeffrey paid their rent.  They robbed and stole and came to my home while he and his security guy did nothing to stop them.  Christopher did nothing to stop them either.  Basically my family lived with two fugitives running loose around our homes.

Now I can't get a job without Laurie or Jeffrey calling and getting my employer to not hire me because they lie about whether or not I'll be living here for long or whether or not Jeffrey will be helping me or it's safe under the circumstances, but nothing ever changes and I never get to work.  The only job I had was working in the sun for an old lady fixing up a studio and even then Brian came there at night and robbed her home.

I really have nothing left to look forward to.  Christopher is non existent.  Jonathan and Anthony don't exist any longer.  I haven't got any friends here.  I don't really talk to my family any more and I don't want to live.  This is Laurie's fantasy come true.  She finally did it.  She ruined my life thanks to Bryan Anderson...I hate him.

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