What is it called when the choice to do something right ends up bad either way? It's a paradox or a catch 22. When the choice to do something good ends up costing you either way, what is the point of doing it at all? That one is an easy one to field. The cost of not doing anything at all could cost you more than you ever dreamed under certain circumstances...it's called negligence, gross negligence or criminal negligence.
In the case of a criminal investigation where you have an advocate like myself and a billionaire like Jeffrey Katzenberg, both vying for the right to expose this crime, is it advantageous for him to bury me and take the case on himself or is it better to take his lumps for what he has done to me and let me do the case my way? This is his great conundrum. Of course, I have my opinion. In terms of what I think, it is highly suggested that he stop doing what he is doing immediately because of the length of time he has already wasted not helping the victims, while I was doing all of this for them, versus what he will get out of it by bringing this case himself. Now I don't understand why he would want to do what he is doing, but realize that at every single chance he's had to work with me, he's balked. He's only taken advantage when he could use this system to hurt me personally, what he's had permission to do from my team's home base here, was never fully taken advantage of. I'm not certain they can even use it without my being involved. There is no way I would ever sign off on their investigation under the circumstances. I can't ensure that they weren't doing things behind my back that I wouldn't have authorized. The trust was broken when the decision was made, "not to help Kevin's family". At that point, a decision to use this system wrongly, even in part, is questionable without my knowing what was done in the meantime.
If you take the time to read the diaries that I wrote during the period of living around Steven Frey and being his friend, you know that they are filled with messages that were for Laurie and her brother. They clearly outline what I planned to do. I was very clear with Laurie and her brother that if they were going to continue to cause problems for me, which I called "overkill", that I would eventually involve my friends at the federal level of law enforcement. I told them both that what they were doing was wrong and highly illegal. I told them both that they knew very well that I was well connected with the federal law system and they should not continue to harass me. My connections to the Southern District of California, Laurie had convinced herself, were severed when I resigned my position with the court. Laurie tells everyone that I was fired for drugs. That isn't the truth.
The truth is simple. I was being followed, which is also in my diaries. I was being harassed so much that eventually I began writing about it. I wrote about it so much that Brian and Laurie knew it was obvious. I even thought about reporting it to the court. At that point I was shot at. It was the shooting that led to my resignation with some other circumstances that were brought on by counseling mandated by my boss whom required that I see a counselor for the depression for the shooting. What ensued was Laurie telling my boss that I was using drugs and that caused even more problems. What Laurie and Brian did was recorded and there is a lot of conjecture about how far my boss went to find out information about me. They never did have evidence of drug use...and I did not get fired. I resigned because of the safety of the court. Being followed by strangers toting guns and shooting at me was dangerous for my colleagues and with the rumors that Laurie was spreading there was no way they would think that I was telling the truth. They would have believed that I was using drugs. My boss would have chalked it up to drug induced paranoia or something he could use to fire me...as he eventually forced many senior courtroom deputies to do. This is something else we will be dealing with at the courthouse soon.
So the outline for my plan was simple. Even the playing field and have Laurie and Brian stand on ground with even footing. Once a truer picture could be gained, I knew that my reputation and honesty would work with the evidence that I'd been creating all along with these diaries. Now there is a ton of supporting evidence for this crime with my team.
What to do though? Jeffrey has embarked on a campaign of "Don't Help Kevin" for many years. Now he is in a position of having to explain that he didn't help me and literally did things to keep me from succeeding in order to do his own investigation. My opinion is that you don't ever sacrifice a lamb to save the flock. You save them all. The work that I did created this team. It created this investigation. It created the informants and it created the opportunities for the operators on my team as well as the material witness/victims that we can use for the government's case. I've also been in contact with my friends at the U.S. Attorney's Office throughout this crime. A bit here and a bit there, just to let them know that I was involved in something big here. I maintained those connections to keep this case alive.
I have no problem marrying the two investigations as long as I am made aware of the circumstances of both. I won't sign off on any of my work without a full accounting though. I can't put my name on something I don't believe in. I also don't believe in hurting my family or staving off other victims. This is a serious crime that deserves serious attention. One problem between Jeffrey and myself should not prevent justice for all. I haven't understood his logic this whole time. My opinion was always this, "If I helped him, he would help me." That never happened. I did more for him and his wife than almost any parents. I did lots for my other friends' parents too. This is a crime of silence that needs to be broken. I don't believe in secret keeping in a crime of mind reading. That just doesn't make sense to me. If the criminals know what I am thinking then shouldn't the public know that they do? It is important for everyone to understand that they rely on this silence to continue this crime. If the criminals are reading our minds how do we stop them? I think it has to do with talking about it and telling people that they do this. The more people understand, the more prepared they can be.
This is not a catch 22, it is a win-win. Now Jeffrey can over think this one too. It's a simple answer. You do the right thing to get the right result. Money is not the issue.
