Morally Conscious


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I highly recommend Ella Free's website FFTI: Freedom For Targeted Individuals
This website is amazing and comes with lots of information for people from credible sources. It's one of the best I've ever seen and Ella is a really great Podcast host as well!!!


Thursday, March 16, 2017

God Will Provide Where Others Have Taken


I am a firm believer that no matter how much people have taken from me that I have a God that will provide for me while I do his good works.  I have a tremendous faith that what I do for people is His will.  I know that I have purpose and that I am fulfilling His wishes.  I entrusted my family member to meet me half way in this situation so that we could come to an understanding for our family and it hasn't been met.  That's a sad thing.  I thought, honestly that I was being a bigger person by allowing this to happen without making her look bad, but apparently that isn't enough.

Now I'm still the person in the situation that is expected to do more.  I'm still praying for a bigger solution that doesn't include the sacrifice of our family.  It appears that I remain the sacrificial lamb of our family no matter what I do to help them.  I've given my entire life to protect them and bring them the truth, but the cost has been my own happiness.  I guess that price still has to be paid.  My future with Christopher is still being sacrificed for the selfishness of other people.  I can't understand why other much happier people can't do one simply thing to bring one minute of joy into my life when they've had so many in theirs.  I'm expected to hand them day after day.

It's sad to think that I have to suffer so that someone else doesn't have to look guilty of a bad decision.  It seems like my whole life is like that.  I want so badly to help other people.  I think that when I have expectations I always end up resenting someone for having them.  It's weird to think that so few people have the kindness to think of another.   It's a selfish world, isn't it?

I like giving.  I find that I receive so much more from it.  It's a lost art.  So few are good at it anymore.  I look at this situation with the eye of an advocate and I want to hug every one of these victims' mothers and tell them how sorry I am that their kid ever ran into Laurie.  I know what a horrible thing that was.  She is the last person anyone should ever meet.  My heart goes out to all of you parents that I should have met by now.  Someone should have talked to you long ago.  I should have held your hand, but there are so many selfish people that see so many other things that aren't important before that moment.

I can't believe someone ruined the plan I had at the last minute to talk to all of you for greed.  It's a shame.  I had a whole speech ready.  This close again and now I have to go through the whole shame process again for nothing.