Morally Conscious


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VLOG cam: I like to record messages to our viewers to watch here. If there is something pressing I want you to know, watch here and you will see the latest message recorded from me!

Today's theme:
I feel icky today. It's the kind of feeling I get when I've spent too much time thinking something is going to work without me doing it myself. I do not like what is transpiring with Lori and her 5 friends in that shooting gallery of a home that they live in. There is an overwhelming feeling of depression and loneliness. Lori always thinks that means that I'm about to use drugs, I'm obviously not. There is a really big part of me that needs to know something is going on besides my efforts. You all may know better, but I do not and I'm tired of this bitch constantly acting superior to everyone else. This is not how you handle an investigation...I don't know how else to tell these people. You don't sacrifice one person for any amount of other people. Start playing like a team Benjamin...you've got to do better.

Visit "Save Our Sons" for more information about tis crime. This is a non violent informational blog about the crime of electronic harassment in Palm Springs, California. The blog, in no way, intends to promote a crime against anyone. It's intent now, as always, is to become the property of DreamWorks Entertainment as a motion picture project for them. Do not commit any crimes because of this blog.
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Thursday, March 16, 2017

God Will Provide Where Others Have Taken


I am a firm believer that no matter how much people have taken from me that I have a God that will provide for me while I do his good works.  I have a tremendous faith that what I do for people is His will.  I know that I have purpose and that I am fulfilling His wishes.  I entrusted my family member to meet me half way in this situation so that we could come to an understanding for our family and it hasn't been met.  That's a sad thing.  I thought, honestly that I was being a bigger person by allowing this to happen without making her look bad, but apparently that isn't enough.

Now I'm still the person in the situation that is expected to do more.  I'm still praying for a bigger solution that doesn't include the sacrifice of our family.  It appears that I remain the sacrificial lamb of our family no matter what I do to help them.  I've given my entire life to protect them and bring them the truth, but the cost has been my own happiness.  I guess that price still has to be paid.  My future with Christopher is still being sacrificed for the selfishness of other people.  I can't understand why other much happier people can't do one simply thing to bring one minute of joy into my life when they've had so many in theirs.  I'm expected to hand them day after day.

It's sad to think that I have to suffer so that someone else doesn't have to look guilty of a bad decision.  It seems like my whole life is like that.  I want so badly to help other people.  I think that when I have expectations I always end up resenting someone for having them.  It's weird to think that so few people have the kindness to think of another.   It's a selfish world, isn't it?

I like giving.  I find that I receive so much more from it.  It's a lost art.  So few are good at it anymore.  I look at this situation with the eye of an advocate and I want to hug every one of these victims' mothers and tell them how sorry I am that their kid ever ran into Laurie.  I know what a horrible thing that was.  She is the last person anyone should ever meet.  My heart goes out to all of you parents that I should have met by now.  Someone should have talked to you long ago.  I should have held your hand, but there are so many selfish people that see so many other things that aren't important before that moment.

I can't believe someone ruined the plan I had at the last minute to talk to all of you for greed.  It's a shame.  I had a whole speech ready.  This close again and now I have to go through the whole shame process again for nothing.

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