Video Footage From When Laurie First Started to Hate Men's Wieners...You Can Clearly See That Penis Has Always Kept Her From Reaching Stardom!!!

A tragic event filmed
...on her way to her big finale move, "the big flying coochie split jump" , one of the most difficult jumps a big girl can do, someone, we think it was her brother or Marc LeDrew, threw a half eaten hot dog on the stage...tragedy ensued and in one teary eyed sissy fit, her budding career was over!!!

Laurie would like all of you men and women that are now laughing to note that she did, in fact, land the "b.f.c.s.j", as it is known to professional dancers (that you are not one of) and that a man's phallic and symbolic gesture ruined the landing...

On a brighter note, this was the beginning of Laurie's eating disorder as she picked up the hot dog and began eating her way to what is now known as the fattest ass in Palm Springs, California.

I have acquired the earliest footage of Laurie's career...from an unknown source.  I thought it would help shed some light on why Laurie hates men.

Just one leap away at her Alvin Ailey tryout...Laurie was done in by what can only be described as a "flying penis".  Dashing her dreams of becoming a famous Broadway dancer in the newest production of "Grease"...then starring Rosie O'Donnell as "Rizzo".  (Clearly Laurie had aspirations of working with one of our most famous lesbians...and fellow Greaser)

It was at this point that Laurie realized that "penis" or as she calls them, flying wieners, would always come up on her list of "most hated things".  As she tells the story, her mother would never allow her to audition again...destroying her dreams of working with Rosie.

Men have paid the price ever since!

(This is all said sarcastically, by the way...you should be laughing!!!)

This poster shows the love that Laurie once had for the very flexible Alvin Ailey Dance Troupe...rumor has it that it once hung in her room until this very audition...