...and after that Anthony ran back into the cave and was never heard from again. Neither was Christopher, Jonathan, Bret, Reggie, Karen, Kenny, Bryan, Benjamin, Ken, Leah, my team, my reunion friends, Scott, my friends from the court and just about everyone that I've known from my whole life...that Katzenberg tire would have killed me or them if it had been there a second later and it is moving awfully fast. It's quite a warning and it does come with quite a massive force behind it. It's hard to believe that it was there by accident without having something to do with me being there waiting for this information about Lori. You know, when it has the Katzenberg name on it and my friends have already run in to Lori...it's already weird enough. Then you throw in Jeffrey telling them not to talk to me too or someone like Missy or David with pictures of Jeffrey with them, it's kind of convincing that they shouldn't.
What I don't like is all of the secrecy that I have to live with. I'm not going to live a lie any longer. People are constantly living this life telling everyone that they would never let something happen like they see on television where someone didn't do something about something that was so obvious. This, to me, is obvious to all of my friends or should be. I'm not someone that has ever lied to them. Then along comes Lori, whom many of them know is not trust worthy on any level and Jeffrey whom none of them know, and all of a sudden years of my credibility is washed away because some psycho bitch and a Hollywood producer say so? I'm not really all that convinced that a producer is honest to begin with. Check around, I think they are just after used car salesmen in the honesty columns for most people. They lie more than almost anyone. Fortune tellers, used car salesmen and movie producers are usually right after Lori in the "tells the most lies of all time" column.
Money isn't a measuring stick either.
I feel like I've worked really hard at being a good friend and was sold out in one five minute conversation with a millionaire and a drug dealer. What does that say about you? If you are one of those people that agreed to keep silent, you sure aren't a very good judge of character if you've been a friend of mine for years are you? I've never lied to you no matter who you are...I know that because I don't lie. I can say that with confidence, I know that neither of them can. That's how certain I am of that statement. Can you? Are you telling the truth when you say it if you haven't told me about the girl that wrote you letters about me, called you or emailed you and you didn't tell me? I don't think so...I think of that as a lie...I think a secret kept about that from a person like me is a lie...if you know me, you know that I would think that too? Don't you? Of course you do.
My friends all know what kind of person that I am. They know that I would want to know if someone was doing something like that so that you and I could figure that out together, not so that you and that liar could keep a secret from me. Doing it that way would mean that the two of you are friends. Doing it the way I would want it, would mean that we were friends. My friends know how I am...
I didn't spend the kind of time that I have with anyone for them to sell me out. Here is one thing that everyone that thinks I am their friend should know...you will not be around when the dust clears if you didn't stand by me while I was going through this. I mean it. So far that means Mark Finley...you're in. The rest of you, where'd you go? Bret Philpot...you at least are friendly. Karen, you are always in. What I particularly don't like are people that have verbally or contractually taken Lori's side, we all know how that is. I'm not impressed with the kind of lies that have been told and the lack of respect it took to believe them.
So many people think that I'll be the kind of person that will forgive all kinds of indiscretions and cold shoulders that were extended. I'm not very thrilled at the prospect of forgiving people that have made excuses for basic principles of friendship that I think should have been dealt with in a conversation. "Some girl called me and told me some weird story about you..." "Kevin, some girl keeps writing me these horrible letters..." "Kevin, why does some girl keep telling me you are using drugs"
You see I'm not happy with anyone that I've been friends with thinking that I'm so easy going that I can be brushed aside at that drop of a phone call. I've worked really hard to stay alive and I had to avoid all of my friends to keep them safe. I think my story will explain to all of them why? My excuse is a good one. When you see the devastation caused to my friends and my family, staying away from you was a good thing. But most of you didn't know that. What's your excuse?
How many close calls did I miss that could have saved my life from this horror? I could have been out of this a long time ago, like you. I'm so sad all the time now that I kind of drift through my days...it's like I'm on a drug or something, but I'm not. I'm awake, but just kind of half alive.
