Morally Conscious


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Today's theme:
Boy did I make Lori mad today...all I had to do was talk about how much I love Christopher to someone from my work! It was like a shockwave delivered to the heart of my stalker. Lori must have some kind of weird thoughts going through her pin head tonight because she is twirling around like Linda Blair's head on a possession victim. What kind of lesbian is in love with a gay man to the point where she freaks out when he talks about his own boyfriend? Lori has some issues with reality and not knowing what it is. I know that Christopher must just cringe when she starts hearing that I don't have any kind of feelings for this high school loser! She's using yearbooks from Junior High School and high school to make up fantasies about some life she never had. I'm considering locking myself in my home again and not coming out. Total Single White Lesbian Female material. Calm down Lori, you've been dumped before...
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Friday, July 14, 2017

Why Here? Why Must Jeffrey Force Me To Stay Here?


Still no change in my living status and still no change in the danger situation that I face with Laurie and Brian.  It couldn't get any more dangerous and dramatic.  What I don't ever understand is why Jeffrey's dog got treated better than I did.  He got the cocker spaniel back from Laurie before Laurie starved it to death, but not me before she makes another attempt to kill me?   I can count at least five times that Laurie and Brian have made attempts to end my life and at least one where they succeeded to kill a family member of mine.  Perhaps one where they may have succeeded in killing one of hers.

To call me a sitting duck would be putting it mildly.  I'm sure that moving to somewhere else would have been much safer for me.  It could easily have happened but Jeffrey got involved in the hiring process.  Rather than working on a different plan to keep me in a safe situation, he's come up with nothing in the meantime.  Now I'm about to work at another job where he will tell people that I am safe and he knows that I am far from it.  His security chief isn't anything safe.  He's terrible.  Laurie's brother and Christian have been right outside my front door before while his security chief sat and watched.  It's not safe here.  It's a free for all.  I'm not able to make a living and be inside where I am safe.  Every time I'm outside I'm in danger of being arrested.  It's the most unsafe situation of all.  Christopher Monti was arrested and jailed for nothing.  Anthony Dabiere was arrested and jailed for nothing.  I've seen people, including myself, put in jail for weeks for nothing all the time.  This situation is something that Jeffrey has wanted for a long time.  He's very scary to me.  I'm very afraid for my life.

Jeffrey and Marilyn have never defended me against Laurie or Brian.  I'm always in fear that they will try to hurt me.  They've never supported anything that I've ever done.  The rumor is that Jeff got involved in keeping me from being hired and he kept my savings account from me.  This isn't helping me.  It serves only to keep my life from going forward and keeping me near two people that have nearly ended my life numerous times.  I am not grateful for that in any way.

I'm alone out here with murderous thieves.  I have nobody to defend me.  This isn't going away any time soon and defending myself against people that do everything to hurt me is not easy.  I have some ideas, I am not easily going away, but I have no hope of surviving thanks to Jeffrey's involvement.  There is no reason to do what he did...I can't even think of one single thing.  None of it is helpful.  Keeping me here is a death sentence, there is nothing about it that is good.  It's as horrible as a human being could have made it for me.  My parents couldn't have had a worse situation to deal with nor could my sister.  What transpired with his phone call was an assurance that my life would be handed over to Laurie and Brian for another decade of torture and my family would be gifted to the Tweekers for more pain and suffering.  He literally gave us to them.  It was an asshole move and he did it on purpose.

Tonight Laurie and Missy are looking for Jeffrey to stake them more money from Jeffrey's father's bank account; $50,000 is what they just asked for.  It makes me sick to think of how many times they have asked for and received money from the Katzenbergs.  They've stolen it mostly, but they have known about it for a very long time.  Here I sit without any of the money that I earned begging to see a doctor but without the money I need to go and see him.  I easily have the money to move out of this area and work with people that I want to, but Jeffrey says, "No."  It's maddening to me.  I don't really understand what it is that he has against me and my family, but we've done nothing to him...he seems to throw money at the criminals.  All I ever wanted to do was work with the San Diego District Attorney, the U.S. Attorney and my friends.  He's dead set against it.  Why?  Who knows.

All I wanted is a few years of peace in my life.

I haven't earned them apparently...just one fucking year without Laurie.

I can't believe he's added so much more time to my sentence.

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