I haven't had one single day of happiness since I was 9 years old. It's true. There has always been something or someone trying to do something to my family since halfway through my sixth grade year of school. It never stopped. I've become so accustomed to unhappiness and making it look happier than it seemed that I'm an expert in acting happy when I'm sad. I'm usually the first person to sneak out of a party while nobody is watching and while everyone is having a good time. Most people don't notice that I do that, but I do. I leave when people are having the most fun because I've noticed that then is when they don't see you slipping out the door and they don't try to stop you. You make a clean get a way and when they see you later it's not that hard to explain.
I make unhappy look easy. In my entire life, I've never really had a day where I was happy all day long. There have been moments of happiness but they are quickly ended by reminders that something huge is in the background. Once you have HIV, then there is always that. So since 19 there was always that. Up until 19 there was my father's trial and living in a small town. Then there were all the rumors that Laurie spread about me to these guys that wanted to do more to me than beat me up. I literally stayed away from people and places that I knew she would have people go to find me and beat me. I made happy look good even then. These boys weren't just going to make fun of me, they were literally there to take me some place and kill me probably. You could feel it. Later Laurie would push one of these guys in front of a moving car...because she thought the driver was me. She wanted me to look guilty. The kid under the car broke his femur and was really in bad shape.
Laurie orchestrated the whole thing. The two kids in the car were nearly run out of the party by the same gang of boys and Laurie that I was being hurt by. The birthday girl never did come back to school. I never saw her again. Three of the boys were brought up on criminal charges. The two in the car were frightened to death...both military officers kids...one was the General's son and the other a high ranking Colonel's daughter that I was close to. This girl knew Laurie and had told me many times that she knew Laurie was dangerous...she was right.
What I'm finding out now is that lots of people knew that she's been obsessed with me over the years...lots and lots. I never knew her. I never cared. Oh, I knew that she wasn't someone I wanted to know but she was a year older and I wasn't interested. I couldn't get into a fight with her, so I ignored her. Back in the 80's with my dad's thing, that apparently Laurie also caused, I didn't want any more attention on me and my family. I was miserable enough. I just wanted to look happy and go to college.
Of course I loved my first year of college. I made a ton of friends and fraternity brothers and had a blast, but the summer after that first year, I was apparently knocked out and infected with a needle full of tainted blood in Palm Springs when Laurie knocked me out. I don't remember it but the genotyping seems to be pointing her way. I do know something. I'd never had sex and I didn't use needles so I was shocked to have HIV. Laurie told everyone about me being gay and having HIV and I hadn't told a soul. How could she have known?
That was it...about one year of happiness in college, but even then Laurie still managed to send me some weird letters in the mail and she still sent one of her hoodlum friends to one of my apartments to steal things and scare me. I still hadn't shaken all the sadness out. Her brother, as I've found out now, was still coming to my school to break into my car and steal things from me even then. He was coming and taking stuff even while I was in my first year of college. I had reason to feel that the dark cloud still hadn't lifted. I was still there. Laurie hadn't left.
So you see, when I wanted to get out of this town and work back in San Diego two months ago, I was ready to get away from Laurie and Brian for good. Jeffrey undermined the whole thing. He took advantage of this system and pulled something stupid. He showed Laurie that he would do the same kinds of things she would do to keep me unemployed and in this area; the hunting grounds. I don't want to live in the hunting grounds any longer. Three jobs now...I've applied and got three jobs...all three have been lost to these people calling and sabotaging my applications because Jeffrey doesn't want me to move. This is ridiculous.
He doesn't know the kind of pain he's causing me. His friends sit in that drug house day after day getting high while they figure out more horrible things to do to me and he just lets them plot. Meanwhile they have warrants and problems that nobody is dealing with. He's the one that sprung them...why isn't he in trouble for it? Why isn't Laurie's mother in trouble for not putting them in jail? Why isn't Laurie's sister and brother in law putting them in jail? This isn't my fault. I didn't invite them to follow me to Sedona. Jeffrey is the one that sent his employees over there to work with Laurie without me knowing...it would seem that the problems that they encountered are his not mine. So he needs to either show that he had nothing to do with those or help me. He hasn't helped me, he's stolen my money and sabotaged my future.
He's an asshole..and it is his fault.
