You know I am a forgiving person, but I'm not nearly as forgiving a Jeffrey thinks I am. Not even close. What my family thinks that I will forgive them for is also way less than what I am going to. There comes a point at which you realize that you are being taken advantage of and when you have to tell yourself, this is not something that I am going to let you do because you think you have something that you can use forever and ever. Legends of my drug usage and the damage it caused are over. I won't allow this family of mine to use this excuse any longer. The time has come for them to understand that when it comes to my own personal finances, I draw a fucking line. They don't have the right to steal from me and the certainly don't have the right to lie about it. I am a police informant and I don't need to afford a lawyer to have this prosecuted.
I have been bullied long enough because of this problem. What is being done now is simple and easy, I am being bullied by the police department, Jeffrey Katzenberg, my family and by my friends. They are all safe and well taken care of so they don't give a shit. I, on the other hand am not. They think that they deserve to be fine while I get nothing for the work that I've done for all of them...guess what? Everything comes with a price.
The price for getting sober is too high. I never thought that being sober would be such a bad thing. I was told it would be much better than this but everyone seems to hold so much against you. This isn't like it's my first year. In May it will be my ninth. Everyone is much tougher on me now than ever. It wasn't like I didn't try to make up for it either. I worked. I got really participatory. I was honest. I was present. I made my amends. I was helpful. I did all the work I was suppose to do. In the end, they all forgot. I got to a place where I got into trouble with some disability insurance fiasco and it all came back. Everything. Nine years of work and all the stuff that I did for nine years was ruined. It was like nine years of amend making meant nothing. It was right back to blaming the drugs again. I hadn't used any and won't but no matter what I did, it was back to the same old crutch for them. You once screwed up so we're going to use that.
Man this isn't what it looks like, it really isn't. Thanks to the selfishness of others that want something else, they just keep on leaning on something that I don't use anymore to get what they want out of me. They always will I guess.
I love my family, but they sure don't know what I'm like. I've tried harder to make things work for them than ever but it didn't. I didn't go back to anything that I did before and won't. I needed to be a better person for them and was. Now it's like I need them to be better for me and they wen't back to the old them. I didn't expect a miracle, but this situation is the same as it always is. I tried to prevent it with money and I did it right. It just got taken from me.
