Rodin's "The Thinker" is probably my favorite statue, simply because it reminds me of me. I spend more time with myself than most people. I certainly have to spend more time thinking than most too. For me, thinking is survival. I have to survive using my thinking. I don't have the luxury of mistakes, like most people have because, mistakes can cost me my life. One wrong turn and I can end up dead. I have way too many people that want me out of the picture for too many reasons, none of which are any good. The reason that they want me gone, because of the mistakes that THEY MADE, not because of anything that I did to them, but because they failed to do the right thing when they should have. It sucks trying to convince block heads to be human beings when Missy Pissy is using her drug addict logic. You see, when you have this kind of person that has a way of making everything about herself seem, not so bad...she tends to diminish the real problem; then she tries to make me look like some kind of bad person for telling all of you the truth.
I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. There is so much to be considered when you advocate for victims of this crime. First and foremost, I am a victim of this crime. I spent most of my adult life keeping this crime away from my family. It wasn't the smartest thing, but it also was affecting how they thought about me because the information that Laurie was feeding them about me in the background was a bunch of bullshit. Oh, I would come back here and visit, looking good and feeling good, but there was always something weird about it. People had an attitude. Like they knew shit about me that I'd never tell them. Laurie was planting the HIV and homosexual seed in this "forget about it" town because she's a small minded hick just like most of the people here. What I was seeing was "small minded hick" opinions about my homosexuality or HIV planted there by a lesbian that gave me HIV. It's kind of sick to think that she's the one that did this and she's the criminal, but in the long run it will make the most sense.
So you have yourself as the first consideration. After that I have to think about my obligations to the police and to the People of the State of California. I grew up here, I love it here and I want to bring them a quality case and a quality story. They deserve something decent in an investigation into human experimentation. This state tends to have a reputation for weirdness and unprofessional-ism in law enforcement. I hoped to bring something different with this informant team and the PSPD. I put together a quality team of really smart people. Jeffrey has tried his level best to tank it by overloading it with criminals...he's torpedoed every single good idea we've had and crossed every single legal line he could. What should have been over years ago, he drug out for seven or eight long years...now he's stealing money to make it last even longer. The professional part of this investigation done by the LGBTQ community was brilliantly done, what Jeffrey and his team did, was sloppy and unprofessional. Leave it to Hollywood to ruin what I put together. Left to our own devices this would have been unheard of beautiful. Now it's beautiful with a whole lot of scar tissue, thanks to that fucking idiot.
Being an informant was something I learned about from my time at the federal court. I know good ones from bad ones. I know what truthful testimony means to a case. I know that informants are the key stone to any good criminal prosecution. I know that law enforcement relies upon them for just about all kinds of inside information that they could never have gotten to on their own and employees of the informant are vital. I picked out great ones. Some of them, picked out horrible ones. Missy Pissy, Betsy Wetsy, Dave the Dick are not employees that I picked. Those are Benjamin's responsibilities...and boy did they fucking suck dick. I would never in a million years have used any of them. They are lazy. They lie. They use drugs and are involved in drug dealing and steal money using this system from Benjamin's home.
My employees have made some mistakes. Mostly because of Benjamin's father who thinks of himself as some kind of self appointed team leader. He's not. I tried to implore certain employees NOT TO DO THINGS that they did anyway. They don't listen to me when I tell them not to and they don't realize that I have experience. IF you aren't dead don't pretend to be that way. Period. If the police tell you to do something, DO IT. They just don't fucking listen. Jeffrey acts like he knows everything, he doesn't.
Third, and probably most important, are the true victims of this crime. The 650, count em, gay men and police officer that were implanted with these RFID devices illegally, most of them infected with the HIV virus at that time, that never knew what the fuck they were really taking part in. Illegally experimented upon in a system run by a brother and sister with a sinister plot to steal, spy on and terrorize an entire city with surveillance technology stolen from the U.S. Military. For over thirty years the City of Palm Springs and cities all over the country, there has been a very sinister plot to spy on ordinary citizens using remote neural monitoring that reads brain signals and tells private citizens everything about a person that has been implanted. In Palm Springs, most of these victims were gay men. The plan was diabolical. A hate crime against gay men. They would die of AIDS before anyone would be able to prosecute the criminals. They would spread the disease without knowing they were infected. It was truly a hate crime with legs that would kill an entire community with police support that nobody could understand. So many parents with so many kids that would learn that their boys were infected without knowing how, when or why this happened. Now we know the virus came from a woman. All these gay men infected by one woman...impossible. 650 men infected by one Black Widow. A death wish for the gay community. Think about how many babies you have to have to make 650 healthy gay men. If one in ten babies is gay...and one of those is female....how many babies do you have to have to make 650 gay MEN??? 75,000 babies have to be made just to make 650 gay men....that's how many babies have to be made by straight people just to get back the number of healthy gay men we started with....IS THAT NOT CRAZY???
Then there are the obligations to my friends that died. I have a lot of friends that died of the pneumonia that Laurie gives them. Some of my friends could not take the torture that Laurie puts them under and committed suicide. There are so many guys out here that died that I can't remember...I have parents for each of these men and women that need to understand what happened to their kids. That's a huge obligation. That's just here in Palm Springs. This is a world wide problem.
I've already lost this boyfriend. He's joined up with the Katzenbergs...he won't do anything to help me. Jeffrey has his ass so fucking crazy now that he won't do anything but keep his own family safe, my family is fucked. He doesn't care and he won't do a thing to help us. No phone calls, no emails and he damn well won't mention Jeffrey. That's the deal he made with him. Fucking Christopher. Save his life and fuck Kevin's. Nice guy huh? Whatever Christopher...
So now the effort is on to make me look bad again. Whatever Jeffrey can do to make up another lie with Missy and Betsy Wetsy. Bring it on Jeffrey. You and your wife are in the business of make believe, but remember, if it doesn't work, your kid will go to prison, so better make sure it doesn't have a hole in it. Benjamin won't look good in orange for the rest of his life. Good luck.
