There is one thing you know when you are "the one". The one that Missy, Laurie and Brian are hunting. The one they want to put in jail. The one that they think of as "the problem". I, of course, am always "the problem" because I'm me. There was a period in my life while I was living with Steven Frey where I was thought of as their "drug dealer's boyfriend" and "the problem". Now I don't quite know why that was because I never really told Steven how to run his business with drugs. If he wanted to sell them drugs, I didn't know who they were or what they wanted. They'd call and he'd deliver if he wanted to. I had nothing to do with it. Boy they sure acted like I was the problem though. They kind of made me their problem I guess. I wrote about it a lot in my diary.
After a period of time it was obvious that Steven was going through it with the voices that he and I were both hearing. He was obviously tired of hearing them complain about me and I was obviously tired of hearing them complaining about me being there and to be honest, I just enjoyed spending time with him. It was nice just sitting around his house. We were both kind of quiet with each other. We'd work on stuff kind of silently. I would write, he'd work on his stuff and we did boyfriend stuff. It was quaint. Not sexual. Not druggie. Just nice. I enjoyed his company. He enjoyed mine. It was just them. All the time them. They didn't have anything better to do than fuck with us. So they did. I had my own place. So most of the time I'd come over for a while then I'd go home after a while to sleep. Sometimes, I'd stay over. No sex though. We weren't sexual. He wasn't and after a while neither of us was.
It was really just kind of a friendship. The voices were too much though for both of us. He would tell me that eventually I would get tired this situation because he was "toxic" and I thought it was odd because we were friends. He'd lost a good life. I'd lost a good life and we were both working on putting it back together. I found a good job at a five star resort and was getting ready for a big management position and he was learning a concrete job and things looked good so "toxic" seemed odd. He was right though. Laurie, Missy and Brian had done this before. They knew they would ruin our friendship...it was inevitable. So when he started to get closed off and he started to close the door in my face...there was one night I went to see him and he wouldn't let me come in...I think I'd walked by for the umpteenth time to figure out what was wrong. He was closed off. Laurie had threatened him. I was tired. There was no place left to go. So I laid down in the back of his truck.
Like I said when you are the "one" that Missy and the others want to go to jail, you know it. You can feel it. I wasn't interested in drugs. I hadn't been using for a long time, I just missed my friend. I hadn't seen him in a while. I wanted to talk. But he had shut himself down. He was closed off. He was toxic. He knew what Laurie would be like if I came in to talk to him. She would call the cops again on his behalf and for a drug dealer...that's not cool. It happened many times. The police did that for her lots of times...too many to count. So I laid down in the back of his truck, sober, frustrated, knowing that I was being hunted. Soon Ken and Rafe showed up to remove me from the truck because they were at Laurie's apartments next door. It was then I realize that this was the night I would be arrested again, but for what? I wasn't high, but the cops in Palm Springs don't give a shit. You can be arrested for just about anything there. It was sad, two of my friends taking me out of my boyfriends yard to be arrested for Laurie and they hate her too.
I was either going to walk the five or so miles home to get arrested or sleep in the desert to get arrested, but then I thought fuck it. The police department is right there. I'll save those fuckers the time. I walked over to the police department and at about 12 o'clock at night I just stood there. I figured if they wanted to arrest me for nothing they could just do it there. Sure enough two of Laurie's cops were there in a flash. They field tested me and I told them. I just was there so I didn't get arrested. There wasn't anywhere else to be. They looked perplexed. I wasn't on anything. I was sad. I just stood there for the rest of the night. I just stood. All night long I stood there. While Missy told Barbara not to come and talk to me. While Bessie said not to come and help me. I stood all night long because I could not take one more bullshit minute of being completely without understanding how doing nothing wrong could mean so much to people. It's like now. I do nothing wrong, but I get punished for it everyday by some dick that thinks that helping people is bad or worse than a girl that tells people to not get involved. How could "don't get involved" land her here with a car and a house? I guess she got involved. I think she was always involved. What she meant was don't stop me.
Don't stop me from committing a crime. Don't get involved means "don't stop me" to a criminal. Don't get involved to an advocate is something that an advocate hears from someone that doesn't care...
Don't get involved to a friend of the family is something that you say when you aren't a friend of the family any longer. You can't say that when you are a friend. A friend is already involved aren't they? There are only so many ways to take a stand against this kind of person, you either say stop saying "don't get involved", because by saying it, you've involved yourself already or ask them why not?
How in the world could Missy have even known not to get involved at that time? There was no blog or any way of knowing this was going on. It certainly wasn't well known to anyone but these operators...so she obviously gave that advice or threat knowing something illegal was going on. In that case it is a crime. At any rate, what we now know is this, she's here and she's got another person keeping himself and others that I care about from getting involved. I don't like him for that. I don't think that is unreasonable do you?
If something like this was happening to his son, and it is, and I told people not to get involved and his son had to explain this on his own, he might feel differently. Fortunately for him, he had me. Now he wants to take my hard work and the work of others and make it seem like he's been the one with all this ingenuity. It wasn't his project or his insight that did anything. We did it all and we suffered greatly for it. Missy never went to jail for her silence. We did. I sat in jail cells so many times that I thought that my life had done a complete one hundred and eighty degree turn. I'd never been in a jail cell before returning to Palm Springs. Never. Laurie acts like I'm some kind of career criminal now, but I'd never been in jail in my life. Check it. Not once until Laurie started in. Then it all starts. Come to think of it not one arrest has to do with drugs. Just nothing after nothing. All the jail cells I was in have to do with nothing. Just threat after threat.
So one night I took a stand. Then I did it again. I got so tired of being arrested that I just stood there. I feel like that now. I feel like going and standing in front of Jeffrey's son's home with a sign that says, I'm done. Stop this now. The pressure is tremendous. He just won't stop. Every day is more and more and more and more. He thinks he's so helpful to the girl that threw us out of more homes than anyone. She never batted an eye. She tallied up more missed Prop 36 classes so we could be arrested, more strike 1's, more warrants for Laurie...I mean Missy kept tallies on us. That's not helpful is it? She could have messed up but she didn't. She was accurate. She told on us. She made up salacious sex stories. She fed us to Laurie like prime rib and now Jeff wants to help her family. My dad was on trial for two and a half years. I got shot at. I was beaten. This man has no scale...he doesn't know the first thing about balance. You don't help this person before you help the wounded battle soldier Jeff...prioritize.
You don't send her family to Vegas on a jet plane...fuck are you fucking mad?
