Why Is It So Hard For Me To Swallow Missy and Bessie?

Some of you will read today's postings about Missy and Bessie and will take away this, "Boy, he's awfully hard on those two girls" feeling".  I'm going to grant you that I'm not very forgiving when it comes to the two of them.  They are very hard for me to swallow and to be honest, I don't know how most of the other victims of this crime feel about them other than I know that Steven knew about them and didn't seem too fond.

First things first.  I know Bessie.  I've known her since I was a kid.  I grew up with her.  She's one of my sister's best friends and she's known my family since forever ago.  She's not just "kind of" my sister's friend, she's close...like very close.  Like sleep over and go on vacations close...that kind.   She was there when my father got charged with a crime because of stuff caused by Laurie, she knew I was a victim of this crime a few years after I was already implanted then she was implanted.  She knew I was being stalked by Laurie and her brother after Riverside and then in San Diego. She knew about my shooting and the stalking there.  She knew about my rape and Laurie stalking me there.  She knew basically everything about my brother in law being tormented by Laurie...on and on.  Her friend, Missy, may know my sister, may not, but knew Bessie and told Bessie not to get involved with me or my family but never hesitated to tell Laurie things about me.   The two of them sort of used me and my family as a way of keeping themselves protected.

I find that to be particularly offensive after my brother in laws shooting and killing where Laurie's uncle was involved in the crime.  The theory I am working on, and apparently there is evidence of, is that Laurie provoked the situation using text messages and phone calls with information that she gleaned from conversations that my sister had with me and her uncle in San Diego and elsewhere.  Laurie cooked up some Lucielle Ball story and lit a fuse that ended in a death.  After that...I was shot at in San Diego by Laurie's brother at Laurie's command, allegedly.  Apparently causing one death leads to more blood lust.  At this point, I am a bit more annoyed that "don't get involved" is now turning into hunting my family.  That near killing turned into resigning my career to fight this crime.

Moving to Palm Springs and becoming an informant got me stalked and raped.  More "don't get involved's" from Missy.   Broken skull and xrays and cover up...more "don't get involved's"...but Missy kept getting involved.  You see she didn't want Bessie to get involved in a positive way, just Missy in a negative way.  That's where I have no sympathy for either.  You see friends don't tell enemies how to hunt other people or other friends or other friend's brothers.

This then turned into coming here and taking over the team sent here that was to protect me...then they became the team to protect the two girls that put me in danger and now I am still being hunted.  You see I don't like working for thirty years to protect my life to have it stolen by two women that took my good thing away from me. I worked my ass off to survive, they survived by my working my ass off.  You see.  I kept a job until they came here to help Laurie take this one too.  Now I have nothing and Jeffrey has helped them do this too.

I can't swallow my pride for my entire family and my brother in law, his family, his orphaned daughters, his wife/my sister and everyone else that lost because Jeffrey wants to make heroes out of two women that didn't want "to get involved".  Getting involved now isn't heroic...its just down right opportunistic.  It's dancing on his grave, right in front of my face.

I'm not the "Big Bad Gay Man" that hates women.  My senior seminar thesis paper is in women's studies and was published.  It was a study on women's rights and traced the development of the Muller v. Oregon 208 U.S. 412 (1908) case that decided sex discrimination in the workplace.   It is the benchmark case that is considered to be the driving force for the women's civil rights movement.  My paper was published and I am a staunch believer in women's rights.  I am a firm believer in equal rights and I've worked for some of the brightest women on the federal bench in the U.S. District Court, Southern District of California, San Diego.  I know that nobody that I know thinks that I have any problem that deal with women, women in the workplace, lesbians, transgendered people or minorities.  You can't live with your entire life being recorded on a disc; your every thought on computer memory and not be confident that you are in no way prejudiced or bigoted.  I'm simply not wired that way.  I believe in the goodness of everyone, though now, I am shaken to the core.

I do not trust Jeffrey Katzenberg and I do not trust his wife Marilyn.  I know that many of you do.  People do things in private that they would never do in the public eye.  The choices that people make when they think you won't find out about it are far different than the ones you know about.  I don't think of Jeffrey as a humanitarian.  I think of him much differently than you do.  I am a really honest and terrific person.  He cut me off from justice, my friends, my boyfriend, from love, sympathy, hope and all opportunity.  He's nothing like he pretends to be when his mind is set on ruining you, he ruins you.